saucy's sprinkles (bloggedy blog blog)

mental health day declared

2012-02-02T22:57:00.000-06:00

Saucy's not going to lie.

It has been a ridiculously draining week for Saucy and The Cheerios, physically and emotionally. Saucy is officially a wreck. Loopy went up to bed right after supper and after the parent meeting Saucy sat down on the couch and cried.

The parent meeting was great, by the way. It's other stuff.

Luckily, Saucy had a nice phone chat with a fellow coach and they commiserated over a few shared experiences of the week over a glass of wine.

Now she plans to go to bed, pull the covers over her head and come out from underneath sometime tomorrow.

Like, late tomorrow. After the workday is over. She's probably going to get up and shower in time for the weekend.

---------------------- time lapse ------------------------

And now, it's much later at night and Loopy has awakened and there's no milk. She's not feeling well, she's hungry and thirsty and Saucy is feeling like a bad mother because there's no milk. There were 350 cupcakes for every other cheerleader in town but there's no milk for Saucy's own child. Saucy's had her glass of wine so she can't even go out for milk now.

It's. That. Bad.

Send milk.

crispy parmesan chicken wings

2012-01-31T11:54:00.005-06:00

If you want to serve some quick and easy wings for the Superbowl this weekend, you can bake these crispy parmesan chicken wings that have been a favourite around here for years.

The best part is, you can get the crumb mixture ready anytime and throw it into a ziploc bag. It keeps nicely in the freezer - Saucy keeps it on hand to dredge both wings and strips of chicken breasts.

This recipe will prepare 18-24 baked wings.

Crumb Mixture - measures don't have to be exact, even better!

1 cup fine bread crumbs
1/2 cup dry parmesan cheese (the kind in the green shaker)
1 tablespoon dry oregano
1/2 teaspoon seasoning salt
1/4 teaspoon ground pepper
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

- Shake this mixture in a paper bag or simply whisk it in a bowl. If you like things cheesy, add more of the parmesan. Sometimes Saucy has Italian Seasoning on hand so she throws that in as well. It has a more peppery taste. There's really no right or wrong to this. It's a beautiful thing.

In a bowl, combine:

2 eggs
1/2 cup milk (or milk and cream, it's thicker)
a dash of Tabasco sauce (optional)

Place all of your chicken wings into the wet mixture and stir to ensure they are all covered. (Saucy washes and dries her wings before this step but that might not be your thing. If it is, do so. If not, you don't have to).

Move the wings, one at a time, from the wet mixture to the crumb mixture making sure that excessive egg and milk is dripped off before dredging the wing into the crumbs. If the crumb mixture gets wet, it will ball up and you won't have enough to coat all of your wings.

Place coated wings on a cookie sheet that has been lined with tinfoil and thoroughly and completely drizzled with cooking oil. You can also give the sheet a shot of non stick cooking spray but trust Saucy on this, you need the oil. You can use vegetable or canola oil. If you prefer olive oil you will have to reduce your cooking temperature because it can get a little smokey in your oven - but olive oil gives the wings a nice mediterranean flavour.

Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes until brown and tender. Serve hot with marinara sauce for dipping.

These make a delicious game day snack, or a meal if served with salad and bruschetta.

sag awards dresses

2012-01-30T11:39:00.000-06:00

Saucy wasn't going to review the dresses from last night's SAG Awards but after some crazy old lady wearing polyester pants and a blouse from 1992 was brought onto local television this morning to do it, she felt she just had to have her say. Because being able to hem pants at a local tailoring shop in less than an hour doesn't make you any more of a fashion expert than Saucy.

Plus, Saucy didn't agree with one thing that she said... and she only once uttered the name of a designer and got it wrong. No, Steve McQueen is not a fashion designer, yes he is dead, but no, he did not posthumously design a gown for Emma Stone.

What gives? Time for a Saucy rundown!

the best

Ashlee Simpson in Jenny Packham. She was there as an escort and it was a little exciting to see her make such a good choice for the red carpet. The deconstructed, eretheral netting across her shoulders was as refreshing as her blonde cropped 'do.

Amber Heard in Zac Posen. Most of the time for Saucy, Mr. Posen gets it wrong, but this is more right than wrong. The detail across the back was pretty awesome too, if you get a chance to Google it. The hair is a little harsh but goes with the vibe of the outfit and let's make a bet that Zac had a hand in the styling also.

Berenice Bejo from The Artist looks admirable in a champagne Ralph Lauren beaded gown adorned with amethyst jewels. This look is a nice little throwback to the 20's.

Diane Lane wears a blue one-shoulder gown by David Meister. Pay close attention to that blue colour, it will show up later on another actress dressed by the same designer.

Michelle Williams did not wear full length, and that's fine for the SAG Awards. They're a little less formal and a little shorter than other award shows anyway. She was shining in this red lace Valentino gown. Plus, she took Saucy's advice and ditched the headband.

Unfortunately, Hilary Clinton found it and wore it to the State of the Union Address last week. Ugh.

Sometimes green dresses are a cruel joke but Emily Blunt wore this show stopping Oscar de la Renta gown so well you can look past the intensity of the colour and enjoy the combination of structure and draping.

Regina King was a winner in this mauve Alberta Feretti ruffled number. The earrings aren't too matchy-matchy, and Saucy digs that bit.

the okay

Natalie Portman in a draped chiffon gown by Giambattista Valli. It was chocolate brown and just sort of... there.

Was her hair pulled right back or has she cut it short again?

There is a little bit wrong but plenty right about Zoe Saldana's Givenchy so Saucy will give it a pass. The sheer white overlayer on top with the rhinestones looks great, but the skirt material is too stiff and structured. The bead detail around the hem is... straight out of the 1980's bride magazines.

the help

Here we go... Emma Stone in Alexander McQueen dress and handbag. Short, sweet and delightful.

Ahna O'Reily in a brave asymmetrical gown by Nha Khanh. Don't kid yourself, this is a hard look to pull off. She is hungrier than Angelia Jolie right now.

Saucy is adoring every move Octavia Spencer is making on the red carpet this season. Last night in Tadashi Sohji, she kept up the pace she's been setting.

Viola Davis in Marchesa. This look was widely adored by fashion bloggers on Twitter last night but Saucy found it too low and ill fitting around the bustline. Moving on!

Jessica Chastain looked fit and futuristic in a cobalt blue gown by Calvin Klein. The exposed underwire was a little too bra-like for Saucy's liking but the cutout did give it a little detailing and drama.

the good

Former wrestler Stacey Keibler with her best accessory, George Clooney. Gown by Marchesa, also good.

Kyra Sedgewick in a form-fitting cutout Pucci! She is looking deadly and now appears to be Seven Degrees from Fashion Perfection!

One of Saucy's favourites, Judy Greer in Colette Dinnigan. That pink clutch is a divine touch!

The Good Wife Juliana Margulies in Calvin Klien. It looks suspiciously like Katrina Bowden's white version (see below).

the modern family

Sofia Vergara in hot pink . Does anyone else think her asymmetrical top part is a little too asymmetrical? As in, downright crooked and not fitting? That aside, she is fond of this look in general and the va-va-voom works for her but Saucy would like to see her at the Emmy Awards in the fall in something a little less, uh, structured.

Julie Bowen is a lovely lady but this Temperley purple might be just a little overwhelming for her frame.

Ariel Winter in a grey short gown. Adorbs. (That's short for adorable...).

Sarah Hyland wearing Temperley. Again, she makes an age-appropriate choice but keeps it fashion-forward.

the old guard

Glenn Close in that damned Zac Posen again. Saucy will never fully be on board with him. The corset detail has got to go.

The local expert dissed Meryl for this shapeless look but Saucy thinks it okay. The belt is kind of offbeat and it suits her. Lay off. She's old.

We can't all age like Jessica Lange, who won for Best Dramatic Actress. She looked so fit and youthful, what is she drinking? Who is her surgeon?

the funny girls

Bridesmades and SNL girl Kristin Wiig in Balenciaga. It's kind of fresh and cool but Saucy is unsure of that neck cuff with the way that neckline is already. Maybe drop earrings and some crazy cuffs around the wrist would have served her better. She also needs to start picking gowns with some colour.

From 30 Rock, Katrina Bowden accessorized her cream beaded strapless gown with a new engagement ring, less than 24 hours old.

The Big Bang Theory's Kaley Cuoco wore this minty, frothy Romona Keveza gown and the only true complaint that Saucy has is that it is a bit too much and would have been better suited for an Academy Award nominee.

Tina Fey, back in black, but it's Versace and it works.

Maya Rudolph... what's going on? Saucy can find nothing about this nor does she really want to.

Melissa McCarthy looked fine in this navy Badgley Mischka draped jersey gown. She's hard to fit but she looks fine, just fine.

the gleeks

Bows are just wrong, wrong, wrong. Especially giant satin bows across the bustline. Badgley Mischka got it wrong, wrong, wrong for poor Amber Riley.

Heather Morris in a confection that no designer will seemingly cop to. Snakeskin with chiffon... ghastly.

Diana Agron in fucshia Carolina Hererra. This is pretty and sweet but what Saucy loves are the fishtail braids across the crown of her head.

Saucy must learn how to do this for Loopy.

Jane Lynch wearing that blue colour (very well Saucy might add) again by David Meister. The fit is perfect and the pleats are great... she never shies away from details that might make her look even taller, and that is just cool.

Jayma Mays, aka Miss Pillsbury in Reem Acra. This was pretty adorable on her... but didn't Amy Adams wear this in navy a couple of years ago as a gown by L'Wren Scott? Hmmmm.

Jenna Ushkowitzh in Rebecca Minkoff. The pattern, the under skirt, the cutouts... this has just got to stop. One of the worst of the night, perhaps the entire season.

Lea Michele, obviously trying to prove that she is not a nerdy geek in real life. Too much slit on this super-sexy Versace number. Saucy would have much rather seen this on Angelia Jolie, actually.

Naya Rivera in a beaded gown by Naeem Khan. She takes fashion risks but generally if you have been watching, she picks lesser known designers. This look is one of her best so far.

the reporters

Shaun Robinson - looking fine in hot pink! She would make an amazing bridesmaid. However, the reporters should be the bridesmaids of the evening, don't you agree?

Brook Anderson in something strapless but note she is also sporting the braid across the crown, like Kaley Cuoco and Diana Agron.

E!'s Guliana Rancic in red.

Kelly Osborne in Badgley Mischka. Seven out of ten.

Maria Menudos. Too tight, too busty, too much.

Nancy O'Dell in red on the red carpet. You know what Saucy thinks of that whole thing, but the dress is nice enough.

the could have been better

The Descendants Shailene Woodley opted for a Hawaiian-vibe tank dress by L'Wren Scott that's just a little too reminiscent of a swimsuit pattern.

Saucy wants to know why Lanvin could dress Emma Stone so perfectly at the Golden Globes and then drop the ball for Tilda Swinton. Maybe it was self-sabotage again. Perhaps there was a devine belt on this gown too, but she ditched it.

Oh, and colour... please!!

the horrifying

Jane Krakowski must not take fashion too seriously. The cutout effect on this gown is atrocious. What else can be said other than shame on whoever put her into it.

This is Busy Philips wearing Simone. It's boho and unconventional. Yes, it does look super comfortable.

This is Saucy telling her to stop already.

Angelina Jolie did not look in Jenny Packam. The gown itself was fine; this was kind of a throwback to her homewrecking vixen, blood-in-a-vial days. It seems to work for her although not too many could pull it off.

She really needs to eat something. Now. That's the horrifying part.

Saucy isn't sure what Rose Byrne ever did to Elie Saab but she sincerely hopes they either patch things up or part company altogether. Saucy adores the idea of formal pants (she wore them to her wedding) but these pants were so beaded and heavy they missed the mark.

Well, that's it until the Oscars. These little fashion wrap-ups are quite a bit of work. Saucy will be glad when awards season is over!

it's about to get all nerdy in here

2012-01-26T22:21:00.002-06:00

Saucy got home late last night from a week in the Arizona sun. She did some stuff, she saw some things. She got a little sun and she did a little shopping.

Oh, you can bet she found some great deals on some Juicy wear for her and Loopy. The girls hit the shops while Veto hit the Barrett-Jackson Auto Show. Do you want to know what else they hauled back?

A few bottles of LoArann's Bakery Emulsions. Baking emulsions are water-based concentrated flavourings that won't "bake out" when heated. They are alcohol and gluten-free. Saucy picked up a few and she'll let you know how it goes.

When she's south of the border, Saucy stocks up on Kool-Aid in flavours she can't get at home. For some reason she can only get strawberry-kiwi up here in Canada and they don't sell cherry anymore at all. You know she also uses this stuff to tint and flavour buttercream, right?

Pillsbury cake mixes aren't available here in Canada, and nobody sells any type of red velvet mix. She stocks up as best she can but since she's flying home, she's limited to the number of mixes she can bring back at one time *sob* these will be gone before you know it.

Saucy always has her eye out for anything cute to put on top of a cupcake. On this trip she picked up mini Pop-Tarts, nonpareils in different solid colours (multi coloured ones are so yesterday) and some of the new Jet-Puffed Mallow Bits in vanilla and peppermint.

These dessert toppers caught her eye. They were a pain to haul back but she might not regret it if they add neat flavours to cupcakes or frostings. Again, Saucy will keep you posted.

In the hotel room at night, she enjoyed Ben & Jerry's ice cream in flavours not available close to home. You can bet that she carefully washed out the tubs and brought those home filled with little things to keep safe on the trip. She has a collection of Ben & Jerry's tubs... nerd. They make cute storage in the craft room for bits and baubles.

She might have enjoyed a bottle (or two) of nice dessert wines. This Chocolate Shop wine was rich and tasty... she could get used to having a glass at bedtime every night, but this was a holiday!

At Williams-Sonoma, the heart pocket pie molds and the heart shaped sandwich cutter were both on markdown, so... yeah! Heart shaped fun for everyone!

At ABC Baking Supply and Sur La Table, Saucy picked up an abundance of Ateco piping tips and one 8" baking ring. She has a plan for the ring, if it works you will see the result here someday soon. As for the tips, she has had a couple of requests about which tips to buy and what cupcake effect they give so watch for a tutorial next week. Next week at this time, Saucy and the Cheerios will be knee-deep in cupcakes again for a special event.

Of course, the Cheerios make out like bandits. Pop-Tarts in all sorts of crazy flavours were found. Those really filled up the suitcases fast. Poor Veto, all that lifting.

Saucy also found the perfect kelly green hair extension clips for the Cheerio's ponytails. So, so cute.

Loopy mostly shopped for treats for her peeps but she managed to talk Veto into a Pikachu hoodie like this at Hot Topic.

Yep, nerdy.

And from the Betsey Johnson store, a tiny little top hat with a veil was procured for a mere twenty dollars. Coming soon, to a photo shoot near you.

Well, Saucy had a nice little break. She and Loopy spent a day at a cheerleading competition and that gave them some food for thought about the routine so she's called a few extra practices over the next couple of weeks. She also has some unfinished (and very bloggable) projects spread out around the house so she needs to tackle them even though Veto is as understanding as Ryan Gosling himself and doesn't mind the mess too much.

It also appears that most of Saucy's vacation purchases are just excuses to come up with more projects.

And that's just the stuff she can show you right now. She needs to keep a few surprises up her sleeve yet! After all, the Cheerios read this blog.

grand marnier french toast

2012-01-23T21:05:00.000-06:00

Saucy really likes to mess with her french toast recipe. She lurrves french toast but she enjoys it so much more if she serves it stuffed... or with a homemade berry compote... or if even she just adds mashed banana to the batter and serves it with chocolate syrup.

She especially enjoys Grande Marnier french toast. It's so simple and quick and makes an everyday breakfast food something special enough for weekend brunch.

Your bread should be just a touch stale. If it's a true french loaf, then buying it a day beforehand is perfect. If it's a day old, it will soak up the egg mixture and fry up to be a toasty, gooey delicious dish.

Cut your bread into approximately one inch slices. Set aside and in a bowl whisk together:

3 eggs
1/4 cup heavy cream (you can use milk too but cream is... creamier)
1/4 cup lightly packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon Grand Marnier liqueur
finely grated rind of one navel orange

Dip each slice of bread into the mixture and let it saturate. Place onto your fry pan or griddle that has been generously buttered. You might even add another touch of butter when you flip it over halfway through cooking over a medium-high heat.

Serve warm, with more butter. Sorry, that's just the way it is. You can top it with maple syrup or chocolate syrup if that's your thing (mmmm orange and chocolate). Another serving option is with ricotta cheese that has orange zest in it. So good.

You can't wait for the weekend now, can you?

the end of ryan gosling week

2012-01-22T20:58:00.000-06:00

To close Ryan Gosling Week here on the blog, Saucy wants to leave you with a few Ryan Goslings that are for her, and her alone.

Okay, she'll share. Just because you're you.

Saucy hopes you have enjoyed Ryan Gosling Week as much as she has.

Because she really, really has.

ryan gosling week continues

2012-01-19T21:00:00.000-06:00

He's here to offer Saucy support at the most difficult point in the season... competition time.

Tomorrow... Ryan Gosling, just for Saucy. She hopes you're enjoying Ryan Gosling Week.

ryan gosling

2012-01-18T20:22:00.000-06:00

Today, Saucy brings you a variation on a theme. It's not Typographer Ryan Gosling, Feminist Ryan Gosling, or Silicon Valley Ryan Gosling.

Today, Saucy is bringing you one of her dream Ryan Goslings... Blogger Ryan Gosling.

Tomorrow... Saucy brings you Cheer Coach Ryan Gosling!

Because any Ryan Gosling is a dream Ryan Gosling, are we in agreement?

red velvet cookies

2012-01-17T08:04:00.000-06:00

Do you remember baking cookies a very long time ago using cake mix? Later, we altered that recipe to make a version of the sweet ginger cookies Saucy had at the spa. Cake box cookies are an old standby. The kids love to make them and even if you're running low on time you can still whip them out for lunch time or after school. That is, if you have some cake mixes on hand.

Saucy's no stranger to using a cake mix, you know that. Sometimes those little boxes are a good bouncing off point for doing something else. You don't just have to follow package directions and make the same old boring cake.

Not that there's anything wrong with cake. Not when you can have... cookies.

This weekend Saucy broke into the pantry to bake up some red velvet cookies using... red velvet cake mix. It's not easy to get your hands on, especially in this neck of the woods. Saucy has friends smuggle it home from holidays and she herself stashed six boxes in her luggage at Christmas. She knows she's able to get some more shortly so she was feeling flush with riches on Sunday when she decided to make some cookies.

If you can get your mitts on some red velvet cake mix, it makes a delicious cookie. Not too crispy and not too soft. The trick to getting a really pretty cookie is to scoop it onto your baking sheet with the smallest baking scoop you can find. Perfect, round balls of dough with the chips pressed on top before baking will work out just right.

Saucy's old boxed cake mix recipe is basically always the same: one box of cake mix, one half cup of butter and two eggs, mixed together. How simple is that?

After scooping, dot with chocolate chips, white baking chips or both. You can roll the balls in sugar or sprinkles for different effects.

Bake at 350 degrees for 12 minutes. Cool to set.

The only hard part will be trying not to eat them when you have to put them in boxes for friends.

49 golden globe dresses

2012-01-16T00:36:00.001-06:00

Let's just jump right into it, shall we?

Dear Amanda Peet,

Saucy is at a complete loss for words about this hideous monstrosity of a getup. This is simply a four-part tutu. What state of mind were you in when you chose this? One can only assume you were under some kind of influence and Saucy sincerely hopes that you are shortly admitted to rehab and then she will forgive you this fashion transgression.

Dear Angelina Jolie,

We've had our differences in the past, but you have once again pulled a hat trick out of your heavily tattooed ass. This daring, structured grecian gown could only be pulled off by a true vixen and that is what you are, lady. Your ink is still ghastly and it is unfathomable how you can wear it so proudly.

Dear Charlize Theron,

This soft flowing, bespoke gown is reminsicent of Old Hollywood in the 1930's and you once again find your comfort zone in your contractually-obligated choice of Dior gown. However, the bow at your hip is verging somewhere near the comical zone and don't think Saucy doesn't see that body art on your right foot. You'd better not get carried away with that bitnitch or you'll end up looking like Angie (see above).

Dear Claire Danes,

Your choices are sartorially subversive without ever crossing the line of "costume." How do you do that? If this dress were to be on say, Tilda Swinton, Saucy would hate it. But somehow your innocent demeanour and endless talent is the perfect accessory.

Dear Debra Messing,

Saucy has sorely missed you, you have no idea. Welcome back to the red carpet. Although she is extremely skeptical of your new vehicle Smash, she is grateful that NBC decided to promote it by sending you to the Globes. The fit, the flare, the emeralds... this is dazzling.

Dear Diane Lane,

This is safe, tidy and glamorous. You look particularly fetching and you exude an understated elegance. Saucy has nothing negative to say about you lest she appear just plain jealous.

xoxo

Dear Dianna Agron,

You have made not only Saucy's best dressed list but also you are officially the best dressed cast member of Glee. Unfortunately, this was almost a hands-down win for you this year as the other ladies did not even put up much competition (see below).

Laser-cut swans for the win!

Dear Elle Macpherson,

This frock is a 50/50 tossup. If this were a movie about cancer, you might not survive until the end of this post. The bangles and clutch are great and your tousled locks look better than ever. Closer examination reveals odd details, particularly on the back of this dress that appear you might be attempting to sprout a pair of Victoria's Secret angel wings. Some hardcore fashionistas are lauding this already but Saucy is closer to loathing it.

Dear Emma Stone,

This lean unstructured gown is downright delicious. It's daring but covering, it's the right shade of plum and red. The way the skirt moved when you walked just made Saucy want to rip the Giant Tiger curtains from the dining room window and belt them with the hideous western butterfly buckle she's had in her bottom drawer since 1980.

Nobody can emulate this look but many will try. Your makeup and hair are also divine. You are officially Saucy's new favourite ginger.

Dear Evan Rachel Wood,

Applause! Nailed it.

Oh, and are you still with Marilyn Manson? Just wondering. If you are, do you share mascara? Gross.

Dear Heidi Klum,

In spite of our history, Saucy is loathe to admit that you looked quite good this year. Coral always looks nice with turquoise and you look tall, lean and comfortable for a change.

Saucy has a bra question for you so please inbox her on Facebook later.

Dear Mila Kunis,

This is terribly lovely, but safe and you've done it before. Don't ride on your own coattails from last year. You can still push the envelope.

Dear Kate Winslet,

You have struck the perfect note for the Golden Globes - dressy and formal but not too formal. Black and white are such a classic mix and you've paired them with the perfect accessories.

Dear Reese Witherspoon,

Saucy sees that you like to serve up your revenge in a dish that is red hot, right down to your nail beds. You kept it young and fresh by eschewing the giant necklace and letting your hair fall down around your shoulders. It looks a tad uncomfortable but sometimes, fashion is pain. You get it.

Poor old Ryan whats-his-name.

Dear Octavia Spencer,

Apparently you got the memo that some of the other, ahem, larger ladies missed in previous years. A delicate balance of structure, ruching and detail provide you with a great silhouette.

While you were accepting your award Saucy could not help but think, please God, let Octavia Spencer live a long and healthy life. She seems like such a nice lady and it would be horrible to die young and have Sherri Sheppard portray her in a movie.

Fasten your seat belt,
Saucy

Dear Jessica Alba,

This look is subdued and charming. You are lightly accessorized with thousands of dollars of diamonds. We should all be so damned lucky.

Dear Julianne Moore,

Saucy thinks you were a wee bit tipsy on stage tonight. Sure, the teleprompter can be a bother, but you kept yabbering to Rob Lowe while the acceptance speech was happening and you were a little too giggly and wobbly on your feet. You are forgiven most of it for wearing this black gown with emeralds.

Saucy hopes you aren't too sad that you have been usurped by Emma Stone as Favourite Ginger.

Dear Jessica Biel,

Trying too hard. Backwards necklace. Ugh. This is officially a hot mess.

Dear Freida Pinto,

What up, girl? You usually hit this stuff out of the park. This gown was entirely too big and flouncy for your petite frame. The side view was beyond unfortunate. It appeared that you might be attempting to smuggle a few orphans under that skirt into the event for a free meal.

If this is how things are going to go down, it's back to Mumbai with you.

Dear Jessica Chastain,

It's a tad severe but perhaps you were trying to invoke the fashion feelings of the 1960's because you were nominated for The Help. Still, girdles are not cool.

Dear Amy Poehler,

You are such a funny lady and one can only guess what a hoot you would be over a cup of coffee. It can be supposed from seeing this photo that you are easily swayed by sales clerks. This is shapeless and flat. How can something trimmed with crystals be so dull?

Dear Julianna Margulies,

Enough with the severe pulled-back hair and super harsh gowns already. You're starting to look like Grace Slick.

Dear Kate Beckinsdale,

This look is pretty, polished and perfect. Are you sad that you are the star of the second-biggest movie vampire franchise?

Dear Katherine McPhee,

This look was so safe that it was booooring. Someone wake Saucy up already! Perhaps if it had been full length and accessorized a wee bit, you would have not fallen so flat. Because of this, Saucy might not even tune in to see Smash, in spite of your co-star Debra Messing's polished look.

Dear Lea Michelle,

Hmmm... well, Saucy can only be honest with you and she must tell you that she instantly recognized your dress as being a Marchesa the moment you stepped up to Ryan Seacrest's microphone. Do you not remember the short-sleeve version of this dress that Sandra Bullock wore to the Oscars a couple of years ago? The smoky tone and long sleeves only lend to the Ice Capades vibe. Thus, you are rendered a poor-man's cross between recent Sandra Bullock and early model Halle Berry.

Dear Rooney Mara,

For starters, the dress is a hit. Lurrve. It was just a tad too long at the front and you were thisclose to tripping several times. But the style, design and fit of the bodice were perfection.

The hair, a miss. What up, girlfriend? We get that you got all method actress on us and chopped your hair off for your movie... but... extensions! Like, seriously. A little nub of a ponytail like that is just so - unfinished.

If you were one of The Cheerios, Saucy would go to the dollar store and buy a hideous fake ponytail and sew it to your nubbin with a zip tie. Legit.

PS. Saucy apologizes profusely for calling you Mara Rooney. It was a little late at night and she knows better. You have to admit, it makes more sense. xo

Dear Paula Patton,

It's cool to wear yellow. Happy people wear yellow. You really popped on the red carpet. Saucy didn't really love your whole look but she didn't really hate it, either. What saved you from being worst-dressed is the fact that you had to work with Tom Cruise this year and you are also married to Robin Thicke, who appears to be a huge douche. Saucy feels sorry for you.

Dear Nicole Ritchie,

Well, well, well. Who would have thought back when life was simple that you would someday still be in the public eye, on the arm of a successful composer husband? Your dress is a very typical choice for you but unlike Amy Poehler (above) you are in your wheelhouse when it comes to slinky, shiny fabric.

Paris Hilton was watching from home on her television, while she babysat your kids for you, right?

Dear Michelle Williams,

Aren't you just the sweetest? First of all, you seem so darn nice that Saucy will forgive you starring opposite her secret boyfriend Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine. Your win tonight for My Week with Marilyn was very satisfying, as was your acceptance speech.

You do, however, have a few weeks before the Oscars roll around to hire a stylist. You need to steer clear of leopard-dotted velveteen and Hillary Clinton headbands. You are not fourteen.

Dear Kelly Osbourne,

Who said you have to dye your hair to match your gown? Just when Saucy was starting to have some real respect for you. This whole thing is just wrong, wrong and wrong.

You might lose your job at Fashion Police over this one. This is why Zac Posen is one of Saucy's least favourite designers. You cannot trust that man.

Dear Madge,

You are just pushed and jammed into this hideous contraption. The skirt was a mess of ribbons and rags but the worst part of all was the way the bodice and sleeves fit over your yoga-induced musculature. Ick. Yes, you're in great shape for a woman of seventy, but jeeez. Your guns need to get covered up. They were distracting... but Saucy still heard you refer to your "masterpiece" in your acceptance speech.

Cover up, then shut up. Sorry, someone had to say it.

Dear Viola Davis,

You hit this one right out of the park tonight and if Saucy could only offer one teeny, tiny piece of constructive criticism, your slit could have been three inches shorter. That is all.

Dear Mary J. Blige,

Saucy feels like she can say this to you... some of her best friends are blonde. Saucy is blonde. You, Miss Blige, you are not blonde. Also, please invest in the appropriate undergarments for future events.

Dear Nicole Kidman,

The press is loving this look but Saucy finds it fussy and structured in a forced sort of way. Step away from the Rhinestone and Stud Setter - Saucy was sure that when she hawked that thing on eBay to a buyer named craftyaussie22 that it was probably you.

Dear Natalie Portman,

Fashion's darling takes a fall and wears the same gown as the Homecoming Queen from Hoboken High School, 1986. 'Twas a very good year.

Dear Naya Rivera,

What did you do to make Vera Wang so unhappy with you? This looks like some sort of Home Economics semester final. That seam right up the front of it does the bias cut no justice at all. The white fingernail polish is distracting as well.

Dear Sara Hyland,

You appear wise beyond your years and this D&G gown works nicely on your tiny frame. Even though it broke apart and you had to be sewn into it - on the red carpet no less - you kept your composure. Well done.

Dear Shailene Woodley,

This is very soft and sophisticated and you kept the look fresh and youthful by not over accessorizing. However, it must be noted that the bodice appeared to fit quite low, leaving you slumped over at times lest you be the victim of a malfunction. Otherwise, you might just have a really large collarbone area and you might have benefitted from some sort of necklace up there.

Anyone else seeing this?

Dear Salma Hayek,

Saucy did not like your harsh beaded gown one bit. She was however, distracted by your hair. On the red carpet and during interviews it was apparent that either:

a) you are somewhat overdue to have your roots touched up and you are growing out some heavy highlights, or

b) you are wearing extensions underneath that are three shades too light.

At any rate, it was distracting enough that what you chose to wear does not matter anymore.

Dear Sofia Vergara,

Vera Wang likes you much more than she likes Naya Rivera. The only qualm Saucy has with this mermaid gown is that Vera has been doing those ripped plaits on wedding gowns for about five years now and it's time for all of us to move on. She even has an affordable line of these garments at David's Bridal now.

Do you really want to be the lady who wore something from David's Bridal to the Golden Globes?

Dear Tina Fey,

It's about time you made the commitment to Oscar de la Renta and stuck with it. Finally, you're making some decent choices and you are even expanding your repertoire to include colour, which is a nice departure from your typical all-black, I'm-funny-but-look-like-I-just-left-a-fancy-funeral vibe.

Dear Stacey Keibler,

Congratulations on being George Clooney's flavour of the month. The flavour appears to be a cheery cherry, served in a complete smackdown.

Dear Piper Perabo,

This is a ghastly mess. It appears to have rendered you flat and misshapen on top and completely overwhelmed on the bottom. Why would you choose to spend your fifteen minutes in this?

Also, you acted like a twit on the red carpet. Dancing? Twirling? Blowing kisses and giggling like an Asian schoolgirl? Puh-leeze.

Dear Sarah Michelle Gellar,

Monique Lhuillier has played a wretched trick on you. It appears that she broke a ball point pen in her showroom and it damaged one of her less shapely wedding gowns. She convinced you that it was fashion forward and you bought it hook, line and pen cap. Not even Tide To Go can save you now.

Dear Melissa McCarthy,

A more careful fabric selection would have rendered this dress more flattering. Yes, jersey packs well. Also, the Snookie pouf is best reserved for The Cheerios at competition time... and Snookie. 'nuf said.

Dear Zoey Deschanel,

This is a somewhat hit bordering on complete miss and it is probably your hair that has veered you off the track. It is too poufy and overwhelming and acts like a giant bookend with that black skirt. Also, the lime clutch is made to match and that's just a cruel joke. You could have salvaged this entire look by wearing your hair back and carrying a black or silver clutch.

Saucy and Loopy still lurrve you. Your sister, not so much...

Dear Emily Deschanel,

What gives? This is another jersey fabric train wreck. Did you execute this yourself? Did you have a hot flash and remove one of your sleeves in the limo? Did you hear somewhere that it was flattering to have excess fabric draped across your bustline, hips and thighs? If so, you are subscribing to the wrong magazine.

Dear Busy Phillips,

You are a good friend to Michelle Williams... you were there as her date for the evening. Somehow, you thought to wear a macrame plant hanger from the 1970's recreation room and proved to be the perfect foil for her velvet leopard headband disaster. You two need to take a break from shopping Goodwill.

Dear Tilda Swinton,

Your presence at this event was nothing more than a present for Saucy. Thank you for once again providing her with a deep, satisfying belly laugh better than any brought from Ricky Gervais himself.

Please, don't change one little bit.

See you at The Oscars! Forty nine days and counting.

red velvet cheesecake cake

2012-01-13T13:34:00.000-06:00

Saucy had a thought recently to make a red velvet cheesecake cake... just like the ones at The Cheesecake Factory. Could it be that hard?

She Googled around and found a tutorial over at The Recipe Girl. It's pretty thorough so check it out it it's something you plan to try for yourself.

To summarize, the layers of cake get baked in springform pans.

So does the middle layer of cheesecake. It's baked without a crust and frozen for easier handling. Saucy lined all of her 10" springform pans with parchment paper. Each layer was easily removed, chilled and stacked.

You just have to think your steps through and be prepared to invert your entire structure a few times. Stack, invert, chill, repeat. You have to hold your breath when you're flipping a cake, but it's worth it.

You don't need to put frosting between the layers but Saucy did anyways. It may have made the structure a little more stable, but it was chilled, so who knows?

More frosting is MOAR FROSTING. (LOL Internet meme...)

Once it is layered the right way in one of the springform pans, let the entire thing get super cold in the fridge and then apply a scratch coat of frosting before finishing it.

After the finish coat of buttercream is applied, generously deposit sprinkles around the perimeter of the cake and then finish off with giant, cupcake-sized dollops of buttercream.

Giant cheesecakes needn't be decorated perfectly. Nobody cares. It's cheesecake.

And just looking at the photos of this miraculous creation and remembering how delicious it was, Saucy wishes she had just one slice of it right now to keep her company. She has a few worries laying on her mind right now and although she's not one to ease her troubles with food, today she says:

Bring it the Hell on.

planning a successful cupcake bake sale

2012-01-12T11:46:00.001-06:00

After more than a few requests, here is Saucy's how-to list for hosting a big 'ol cupcake sale. The key to planning a successful event is... planning. And more planning.

Step One: Pick your day and then advertise it

Saucy picks her day carefully. She needs a place to sell (a craft fair, a community event, a local mall) and there might be some paperwork to do. Make sure you have your plan in writing. Saucy picks a day that she knows won't interfere with any other big school or community activity and when she knows the Cheerios will be available to help for the days leading up to the sale as well.

As soon as you have your date set, get it announced in as many community newsletters and on as many calendars as possible. As the event draws nearer, create a Facebook event and contact local media outlets.

Step Two: Gathering your supplies as inexpensively as possible

Start clipping and picking coupons as soon as you can for all of the items you will need. Saucy uses her basic altered cupcake box mix recipe and her own buttercream recipe so she knows what she has to buy. She stocks up as much as she can on cake mixes, icing sugar and margarine - when the price is low, it's time to load up.

Saucy has a cupboard in the basement stocked with Cheerio baking supplies.

Saucy waits until the week of the sale to buy perishable items like eggs, cream and butter. She gets these items at the wholesale club.

You'll also need to decide pretty early on in the planning process how many of each flavour you are planning to make... and what flavours. Saucy thinks that having lots of flavours available is not only pretty impressive, it makes for good sales. Customers are more inclined to buy six or twelve assorted cupcakes if they have a nice selection to choose from. If you only offer two or three flavours, you might only sell singles or just a few at a time.

Saucy figures that by hosting a big cupcake bake sale, she's taking most of the responsibility off the parent group who might otherwise be asked to do all of the baking and then donate it. It's better to give the kids a hand in helping plan what flavours they'd like to see and then have a sign up sheet for each one of them to bring a topping ingredient.

Parents would way rather stop at the store and pick up a box of animal crackers for a bake sale anyway.

Step Three: Plan your cupcake transportation and storage method

This part is key... how will you transport your finished cupcakes to the sale site? Saucy has the best little system worked out, and she's going to share it with you.

Yes, free. Just ask the produce guy at your local grocer or wholesale club. They're probably trashing them or recycling them anyway. Nobody else wants them because they're too shallow to hold very much. Make sure the ones you get are clean (with no dripped berry juice or squashed pepper inside) and stackable. They have to be stackable, having those little interlocking tabs on the sides. This will prevent the boxes from sinking into each other and your cupcakes won't get squished.

These produce trays are typically very sturdy. The ones Saucy gets hold about 50 cupcakes each. (Oh, and heads up, if you stack them more than two or three high, it can get pretty heavy to lift. The stacking tabs are handiest for getting the trays into the car compactly over to the bake sale, but make sure you only carry two or three at a time).

You'll also need giant plastic bags to wrap the boxes. Shhhh... Saucy also gets these for free. She asks for them at the bottle recycling depot when she organizes Cheerio bottle drives. They have giant, clear, new bags for sorting bottles. They do the trick for sorting cupcakes too. We'll get to that later.

You'll also need to make provision for having packaging for your creations at POS (that's point of sale). You can ask at a local bakery - although they might not be keen on the idea of selling packaging for a bake sale because bake sales = competition. You can check your local wholesale club, Saucy has used takeout containers for salads and they work just fine.

If you want to look pro, you can order actual cupcake packaging online. Check your local yellow pages under "retail packaging" or "bakery supply" and you might find something appropriate. Try not to spend more than fifty cents per container. You don't want to cut into your cupcake bottom-line.

Step Four: Make a schedule and stick to it

Saucy finds that a cupcake sale takes four days of work to be successful.

On this night, Saucy has about six girls over. The first two girls measure the sugar, butter and shortening for the buttercream. The other four work in pairs at the stand mixer, beating buttercream and listening to loud, offensive music. Hey, they're teenagers. And it's not too offensive for Saucy's tender ears.

It's a buttercream production line. The girls that know how to do it can whip up tons of the the fluffiest, nicest buttercream in just a couple of hours. Have a bunch of clean ice cream pails with airtight lids and fill them up. Store the buttercream in a very cool place, making sure that you warm it to room temperature on baking day.

And, as in all things Cheerio-related, nobody leaves until the space is cleaned up. Saucy is nobody's maid.

This is a good job for the younger or more inexperienced kids. Have a whole bunch of little mixing and sorting bowls handy. On this night, the girls open packages and count mini Oreos, cut the mint wafers into triangles, carefully cut the Hershey bars into squares, take the cellophane wrappers off candy canes, and do all the fiddly little things that will take time away from major production later. A few of them make the hamburger cookies if we're using them at this sale.

Saucy also has a couple of kids get the cash float ready at this point. They should count the money and make sure there is enough change (small bills and coins). This might be a good night to make posters, if you haven't done so already.

This is also a good time to have the kids prep for recycling. An event like this can generate a lot of trash. Saucy brings a recycling bin right into the kitchen and everyone opens the cake mixes and flatten the boxes then and there. (Use a marker to label the bags of mix so you remember what flavour they are). The margarine squares get taken out of the box and all necessary items get put out on the counters at the ready. Saucy also pulls out her "working" kitchen towels and rags. She doesn't use the pretty new tea towels at a time like this!

Everything is set up and ready for cupcake baking!

The frosting is made, the toppings are prepped and now comes the rest of it... time to make the cupcakes! Depending on how many you want to make, you will need to allow the better part of a whole day to this event. Saucy tries to schedule cupcake sales the day after a school holiday. That way, her minions can work all day getting ready... and cleaning up!

Speaking of cleaning up, now is the time to put a large trash bin somewhere central. Everyone has to keep the work area tidy! Some girls are in charge of garbage, recovery of leftover toppings (back into the packages for another sale) and wiping counters.

Saucy is fortunate to have two ovens to work with. Even if you don't you can still crank out plenty of cupcakes in a few hours. As they come out of the oven, place them directly in those stackable cardboard trays for cooling. You can also decorate them right in the trays - how handy! All of your flavours will be in one spot this way. You can put a couple of kids on task with each cooled tray, just teach one of them how to operate the piping bag and the other kid can do the sprinkling and finishing with the toppings.

Here are some efficiency tips:

Bake the same flavour at the same time. You'll need plenty of vanilla, chocolate and other flavours. Bake all the vanilla first followed by all the chocolate and then all the other flavours... you won't be stopping between flavours to wash your bowls.

Decorate using your vanilla buttercream first. After all the vanilla is piped, you can start tinting and flavouring the remaining frosting.

Put all of your prepared toppings in a central location, organized and ready. Your decorators can locate what they need, as they need it.

Use disposable piping bags. It's not super environmentally friendly but if you plan right you'll only need five or six of the large ones. When the deed is done, cut them open to reclaim your decorating tip and pop it in the dishwasher, throwing the bag in the trash.

Put someone in charge of sorting and counting the finished cupcakes. Saucy does this to control the inventory and ensure that all the flavours planned for get completed. It's a good little numeracy skill for someone, too.

When the cupcakes are all finished and stacked in their trays, bag two trays into one giant clean plastic bag and tie it shut. Through the plastic, you can still stack the trays nice and high for transport to your bake sale. If it's cool outside, the vehicle gets stacked and loaded the night before. In the morning, Saucy just has to grab her keys and she's off!

The girls have been told what to wear and how to wear their hair. Saucy doesn't let them wear too much jewelry.

Game on.

The girls are scheduled in shifts to ensure there's enough help - especially at the start of the sale which tends to be the busiest. Allow plenty of help for set up and tear down. You might want to put one of them solely in control of the cash box so the kids handling food don't handle money.

You will also see that for a very large sale, Saucy doesn't bother taking out cake platters and cupcake stands. She can get more cupcakes on display just lining them up on a plastic draped table.

Now, just sell the cupcakes and remember to say thank you to the customers! And at the end of the day, count your money!

If you play your cards right, you won't even have any leftovers. Any other questions? Ask away.

the cup of coffee that took two years to brew

2012-01-09T22:00:00.000-06:00

See that pretty, foamy cappuccino there? Saucy made it today using this:

Which is something she should have blogged about two years ago. Seriously. She bought the machine at Christmas 2009.

It took her this long to attempt to use it. She's more than a little ashamed to admit it, but the whole concept, even though she bought into it the moment she faced the Williams-Sonoma cashier in the eye - it sort of flummoxed her.

You must be thinking she's a bit of a dolt. First, hiding from people in Safeway and then, avoiding a countertop appliance.

Turns out, it's not that difficult to use. Sure, it can be tricky to clean it up the first few times you use it but now that Saucy has figured it out, she can actually get a beverage into a cup in just a few minutes.

She's no Starbucks barista, but the house smells nice. Plus, she's only spilled coffee grounds on the floor once (so far). Saucy's only feeling stupid because she waited so long to give it a go.

If brewing your own espresso isn't difficult, making your own biscotti for dipping shouldn't be! Well, it's not. It's easier than the coffee. And absolutely, definitely worth it.

Chocolate Pistachio Biscotti

Preheat your oven to 325 degrees and line a large cookie sheet with parchment paper or a silicone pad. Saucy prefers parchment for biscotti because it gets a little drier on the underside. It's a drag to have soggy biscotti.

Come to think of it, that would be an awful name for a garage band. The Soggy Biscotti. That would be a bad thing.

Sift together the dry ingredients:

2 cups flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

Then, using your paddle attachment, beat together 1/4 cup soft butter (at room temperature) with 1 cup granulated sugar until light and fluffy.

Add two room-temperature eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.

Beat in 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract and 1 teaspoon of pistachio flavour. It can be quite strong... a little goes a loooong way. If you don't have pistachio flavouring, use almond extract or just the vanilla. It doesn't matter. At least, we have to keep telling ourselves this.

Saucy prepped almost a whole cup of roasted pistachios. Baking pistachios are impossible to get where she lives so she just sits and shells the snacking kind. Yes, they're salty but for a recipe like this Saucy digs the salty/sweet thing that happens.

It's gooooood. She does not lie.

You can use the dough hook to incorporate the dry ingredients into the egg mixture but beyond that you'll have to use your hands to work the nuts into the dough. The dough should be sticky but dry and crumbly.

Turn the dough out onto your parchment lined baking sheet and pat it into two equal sized loaves for baking. Biscotti gets baked twice. That's how you get the nice dry crunchy bits.

Notice Saucy sort of shaped those loaves into rectangles, making the ends sort of blunt. This makes it easier to cut into the cookies after the first baking.

From the Wall of Sprinkles, three fun sanding sugars...

fancy coarse gold sugar

artisan dark brown chocolate sugar with white chocolate curls

... and vanilla sanding sugar.

Brush the loaves with lightly beaten egg and sprinkle generously with the sugar(s) you have selected. Don't worry, even white baking sugar will do nicely.

Bake the loaves at 325 degrees for thirty minutes. Remove them from the oven and they will look like this: slightly larger with nice cracks on the top.

Before you forget, reduce the oven temperature to 300 F.

Place the loaves on a baking rack and allow them to cool for at least twenty minutes. Using a serrated knife, slice them to a uniform size - about a half inch thick is best. Place the cookies on their side back on the parchment lined pan and return them to the oven for another twenty minutes. Halfway through, flip them over. This part of the process really dries them out.

Remove from oven after baking and allow to completely cool on a wire rack. Store in a cookie tin, not a completely airtight container.

Look how pretty that is! The green nuts in the brown cookie look so on trend.

A sweet, dry biscotti is wonderful when dipped into a hot cup of cappuccino. Then you really will have yourself some soggy biscotti...

... and that would be a good thing.

the forgiveness hypothesis

2012-01-09T00:11:00.000-06:00

Forgiveness is tricky business. Saucy readily admits it is not a commodity she deals in often. When someone crosses her, she prefers to hold onto the hurt until it festers into a quiet mental illness. Later, she doesn't hold the grudge. She just sort of lets go of the entire situation, and the person who dealt the blow becomes a distant memory. Is that forgiveness? She doesn't know. It's not like she's still hurt or anything, she just doesn't think about it anymore.

Over the holidays Saucy went to the mailbox and found a handwritten note from someone who had wronged her. The event took place about six years ago and it was the catalyst for being the only time in the history of ever that Saucy was fired from a job. Fired from a mediocre job at a crappy place, natch.

The note writer crafted a carefully worded apology to Saucy, accepting one hundred percent of the responsibility for what happened. She also indicated that she missed Saucy very much and sorely hoped that Saucy would forgive her.

You may find this cold, but Saucy has only fleetingly thought of this note since it arrived and in doing so she has more so contemplated why the apology finally came, not really what she should do about it.

Being a visual person and someone who fancies herself a scientific reasoner, Saucy pie graphed the situation in an attempt to ascertain whether or not she could issue the implored forgiveness.

Perhaps, Saucy considered, this person reads the blog and would like some sort of public acknowledgement of forgiveness.

No, Saucy is rather sure this person does not read her blog. There must be some other reason this request has come so many years after the fact.

Saucy admits, sometimes she has thought about the note writer over the years.

Mostly, Saucy thinks about you when she watches the movie Mean Girls.

At the end of the movie, even Regina George was forgiven. Regina Freaking George.

This weekend Saucy had that drink and pondered the situation. What would it mean, to forgive you? What, if anything, would be the outcome? Would Saucy welcome you back into her life or would she simply pay lip service to the act of forgiveness and then continue to avoid every single shop in town that she knows you frequent?

Friends, Saucy does not know if forgiveness has a price. She knows that although Oprah and Ms. Norbury are proponents of it, she doesn't know if it's for her. Saucy thinks forgiveness is a gift. What justifies the gift of forgiveness? Carefully chosen words written in a six dollar greeting card?

Saucy does not know. This may make her a small person, and she's not afraid to admit it. She is flawed like that. She does not know if she will readily forgive, if at all.

Part of her wishes she could be all Taylor Swift about it and write a catchy ditty about the situation. She only knows one thing for sure:

Reader, are we obliged to forgive? If we forgive, do we need to present it to our wrongdoer or can we silently forgive and move on? Please advise.

a spot of flowers

2012-01-05T20:47:00.001-06:00

For Pepper's birthday Saucy decided to make a floral arrangement. She decided that for a BFF like Pepper, she would have to do something extra nice so she wheeled over to the two finest stores in town.

Costco (for the flowers) and Value Village (a thrift store) for the vase. Saucy's a high roller like that.

Usually, you can't beat the flowers at Costco. There was a good variety to choose from but Saucy was gravitating towards the pink ones, she didn't want anything that looked at all holiday. That must be a bummer, if your birthday is shortly after Christmas, to get red flowers. Even red roses look a little too festive right now.

After Saucy settled on the pink blooms she investigated the aisles of the thrift store for an appropriate vessel.

So it feels a little odd to say "I went looking for a birthday treat for my best friend at the thrift store" but here's the thing: Pepper's totally cool with it. She's not majorly into vintage junk herself, but she appreciates it and she gets it. Pepper understands if something is arranged in a funky, offbeat container because she's with it like that. She wouldn't think it was strange that Saucy went a-shoppin' at the store for used thing-a-majigys.

Plus, look at the pieces Saucy found with very little digging. The milk glass was just a couple of dollars and so was aluminium ice bucket. They'd both look gorgeous filled with blossoms, don't you think?

Saucy settled on this teapot without a lid. It's perfectly Pepper, she always has a spot of tea at the ready for a friend.

She opened the Costco bundle and started by cleaning off the stems. The leaves were yucky and had to go. She filled the sink with tepid water and let the stems sit a while and take a good drink. She burped the flowers by slicing the tips off the end of each stem while underwater (don't cut roses stems out of water, it lets bubbles of air up the stem and they won't last as long) and after the burping, they started to open up just a bit more.

In the meantime, she prepped the teapot by thoroughly washing and drying it and covering the holes to the spigot with duct tape. This prevents the water in the arrangement from splashing all over the place.

Then, still cutting the stems down under the water in the sink, it was time to start filling the teapot with cut roses. By first making a circle around the perimeter, a base shape formed out of flowers and Saucy did not need to use floral foam, of which she did not have any on hand.

Long stemmed roses are nice, but don't be afraid to trim them down and make something more compact with them. It's much more dramatic.

Granny used to say, "isn't it interesting the way you took those beautiful long stems and chopped them off like that to have short ones" and Saucy could hear the sarcasm dripping from beyond Granny's gin and tonic.

Granny still thinks it's wrong to cut roses down but Saucy likes the look too much. She can't help it. Cut up flowers in junky little containers, that's her thing right now.

Yep, that's the thing. That is the thing.

so many cupcakes

2012-01-02T23:37:00.002-06:00

... so little time. The Cheerios had one last cupcake sale at the mall a day or two before Christmas.

And really, Saucy means it. We just ran out of time. This is how many cupcakes thirteen people can make in twelve hours. It's about 800. We tried for 1000 but had to power down and pack them up for selling the next morning.

There were twenty flavours again. It gives customers a nice variety and you sell more, because people are prone to take an assortment of six or twelve. If you only have a couple of flavours, you might only sell a couple of cupcakes at a time.

Can you believe it... it's been so busy, Saucy is just posting this cupcake biznitch now. In January. Gah.

This was a special flavour for the day... Chips and Coke. The cake batter was made with Coca-cola and the chocolate buttercream was topped with two chocolate dipped ripple chips. The salty/sweet combination was a hit. We could have sold 100 of these.

Mike and Ikes

Orange Creamsicle

We kept mint lovers happy by offering both Grasshoppers and Peppermint Bark topped cupcakes.

The Eggnog cupcakes had eggnog in the batter and the frosting and they were topped with miniature gingerbread cookies. So incredibly cute.

Boots decorated each teddy bear cookie with a candy heart. These vanilla cupcakes had red and green funfetti inside.

White Chocolate Peppermint Bark

Dark Chocolate Peppermint Bark

Rainbow Chips Ahoy

The Gingerbread cupcakes were topped with mini gingerbread men again but look... the sprinkles are tiny gingerbread men too!

Hamburger Specials

Orange Cranberry

These were "Funky Monkeys"... chocolate banana cake with chocolate buttercream, mini chocolate chips and a banana chip.

That's it for Cheerio cupcake sales this season. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully. Saucy is confident the team has enough money to travel and buy some cool stuff.

Saucy wants to thank her wonderful local followers who have supported the cupcake sales... you've been terrific. The Cheerios will still take orders for birthday parties and events until the end of March. You know how to reach Saucy if you need to (see sidebar).

top projects of 2011

2012-01-02T22:11:00.000-06:00

Saucy's previous post left her feeling a little bitter about 2011 so she decided to do her annual recap where she ~~reminisces~~ waxes enthusiasm about what she accomplished in the last calendar year.

These kinds of posts make her feel like she's accomplishing something.

Like baking. There wasn't enough baking this year, to be sure. Other than cupcakes. The Cheerios cranked out a few thousand cupcakes this year.

There were enough cupcakes baked to buy new uniforms, plan a couple of trips to competition, and even a few extras. More about that later. Right now it's all about the cupcakes.

Cupcakes with little candy breakfasts on top.

Incredible cupcake towers that defied not only gravity but the fit of Saucy's spanx as well.

Delightful sugary apple cupcakes.

Hamburger cupcakes with ice cream baked potato sidekicks.

Meringue-topped, fruity creations filled with creme fraiche.

Sometimes dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with toffee and salt.

And other times, cupcakes simply rolled in sugar and presented with love.

Indeed, the smell of cupcakes permeated the walls of the new kitchen (when the place wasn't under complete destruction of renovation).

Other than cupcakes, Saucy made plenty of different stuff. Like cheese biscuits.

Balls of cookie dough on a stick, dipped in chocolate. Sinful.

Halloween snack mix.

Saucy copied a Nothing Bundt Cake with her own version over the summer.

She also attempted to make her own marshmallow Peeps at Easter. They sort of worked. They were delicious but perhaps they look more like yellow penguins.

Saucy attempted and mastered French macarons this year, much to the delight of friends and family.

Loopy turned sixteen and celebrated at a not-very-extravagant party in February.

But let's face it, most of Saucy's baking (including the cupcakes) and everything else she blogged had more than something to do with The Cheerios. Saucy has undying affection for each of them and her devotion to the team can be seen when it takes over the blog.

She made them PopTarts on a stick before competition.

The week before the provincial championship, Saucy declared it "Green and Gold" week on the blog and didn't limit it to just cupcakes and floral arrangements. She made green button cookies and homemade fortune cookies for the team.

Saucy whipped up fancy korker bows for the girls to wear and even has enough ribbon leftover to make a new style for 2012.

In March the girls won silver medals at the championship. It was hard earned and pretty fabulous.

Actually.

They looked terrific in their new hairbows and uniforms, inspired by the comfort and breathability of yoga wear!

The week leading up to team windup was spent hand stitching a fuzzy personalized teddy bear for every single one of the twenty two girls.

And somehow, Saucy ~~sometimes~~ found time to feed her family.

Pulled pork sandwiches

Raspberry rockets

Sweet and easy jam

Homemade potato chips

Homemade baking sprinkles

Things got a little crafty around here but not nearly as crafty as Saucy would have liked.

Loopy dressed up for a comic kind of convention. Uncle Bug had to help her make the giant wrench because alas, Saucy was too busy.

At Halloween, Saucy helped the girls come up with costumes to be the Spice Girls.

Saucy dreamed up a little tiara craft.

She found time to do a very little bit of jewelry making, a very little bit. There are supplies scattered untouched on the desk even as she types this. She knows what she should be doing.

Saucy managed to take care of the yard. Kind of. She had problems with the pool over the summer and the chemicals got crazy out of balance, she spent three solid days clearing it up.

She was just happy when autumn came and she could put out the dollar store decorations.

She hit Dollarama again for Christmas. Enjoy it. The urns will probably look like this until May.

Saucy and Veto put up with a crazy deck builder but they finally got rid of him and started to enjoy the outdoor kitchen. Later, they hired a not-crazy carpenter to fix it. It was just really enjoyable sitting out there gazing upon the green water.

Saucy spent some time with The Secret Weapon making etched zinc inlays for the concrete countertops, and they made one for Pepper's kitchen renovation as well.

The biggest, most time-consuming, non-Cheerio event of the year was the renovation of the kitchen. It went from this:

To this:

Finally, Saucy has a place for everything and everything is in its place. The Wall of Sprinkles must be considered the victory lap of 2011.

In all the chaos of renovation, Saucy decided more chaos would be an excellent idea so she took it upon herself to redecorate Loopy's bathroom:

... and to repaint the main floor, wallpapering and redecorating the powder room.

Saucy barely did any photo shoots this year of Loopy and her friends. She cannot imagine why, as Loopy has grown into a gorgeous creature right here, before our eyes.

With such a beautiful model, it is a shame not to be taking pictures of her every single day.

Some of The Cheerios spent time in front of Saucy's lens also. They are turning into beautiful, confident young women.

Well, maybe 2011 wasn't as unproductive as Saucy originally thought. There were projects that didn't even make it to the blog when they were finished, it was that busy. She and Loopy still managed to work out at the gym three times a week, the dogs got fed, life rolled on.

Saucy doesn't ever make a resolution that she doesn't keep... but she can tell you this. She's hoping to update the blog with more regularity in 2012. She was a bit of a slacker in 2011.

Here's hoping.

the pattern of terrible two's in 2011

2012-01-02T15:16:00.000-06:00

Well, 2011 has finally drawn to a close. Saucy needed a little recovery time to get over it. In hindsight, 2011 may not have been particularly kind to her but she really does like to put a positive spin on things and in this post she would like to examine each experience that she initially felt negative about... and spin it.

Now, Saucy and Veto never argue. This is driven mostly by Veto's easygoing temperament and his unending patience. He not only spoils the family, he suffers a house filled with teenage girls and a wife sidelined with rheumatoid arthritis and all that entails. This year, there was not one, but two arguments in this household. Saucy takes almost complete responsibility for both. In hindsight, they were strikingly familiar.

Argument one: Veto whisks Saucy away to Antigua for a week in the tropics to ease her sore joints (see, he's the better person already). Unfortunately, even staying at a five-star resort, they return home covered with what Saucy thinks might be... bedbug bites. Veto thinks otherwise but after Saucy pays a visit to the doctor and the community health clinic her fears are confirmed.

Luckily, her suspicions have left ~~the~~ her luggage parked outside in the snow. Since Veto has unpacked his bags, ALL of the clothing and contents of his closet must be put outside in the freezing temperature and brought indoors in small batches. Each piece of clothing must be baked for fifteen to twenty minutes at no less than 180 degrees to kill any transients that may have taken up residence. Ditto for the front hall closet where the jackets were hung upon return home. Ditto for Saucy's closet because Veto (thoughtfully, again because he is the better person) hung up a couple of her wraps that were in his bag.

Now, this may seem like a small task but the prospect of clearing out three giant closets and the dressers nearby (yes, you have to do the dressers also) is daunting but Saucy soldiered on. Veto called home from a business trip and let's just say the frustration Saucy felt over those tiny little bugs THAT NEVER MADE IT INTO HER HOUSE simmered over into their conversation.

Suffice it to say, when your husband is away on business and cannot help you solve the problem, it might not be a good idea to go off the giggling pin about the problem. Lesson learned. Or not.

Argument two: During the kitchen renovation (yes, the one where Veto obligingly let Saucy build the kitchen of her dreams) Saucy was making room in the furnace room for the pipe fitter to run the gas line and guess what she found?

If you haven't figured it out yet, clearly Saucy has an irrational fear of bugs. Bugs of any sort, size and intent. Well, their intent is clear. THEY INTEND TO KILL HER.

You guessed it. Veto called home from a business trip and Saucy went all buggy on him because there appeared to be killer carpenter ants in the house and she was not long for this world.

Yes, it was that dramatic.

After two (almost) insect infestations Saucy and Veto survived both but Saucy (possibly) has learned a valuable lesson. She may still call Veto in a panic if she is attacked by bugs, but at least now she understands there's nothing he can probably do about it if he's a thousand miles away. She ought to call an exterminator instead.

The cheer season was another success, depending on how you define success. The team was dedicated, made up of sweet girls that Saucy loves as if they were her own daughters. Instead of repeating as provincial champions in 2011, the team placed second.

The sour part was that the judging seemed a little funky at the time. Saucy knows what the girls need to work on to be successful in 2012 but it still kind of smarted. The judges were pretty harsh with their feedback and that seemed odd, at the very end of the season andSaucy would have liked to seen just a few positive comments rather than pages of negative.

But then, Saucy reminded the girls that second place is better than third and third place is better than last.

The positive part was that in their most gracious loss and in their interaction with the rest of the squads, the team was presented with the Spirit Award. That made the season more sweet than bitter, and in the end it was all worth it anyway. Saucy wouldn't have changed a thing about that group of kids or their routine.

In another strange twist, Saucy found out about a book about a cheer team that appeared to have been written from the very pages of this blog. The similarities were eerily familiar. Veto paid a visit to his lawyer and in the end it was decided not to pursue legal action.

The positive part of this story is that Saucy learned to let go, she learned to take it in stride. The lawyer had some very good advice for Saucy:

There was no legal action to be taken anyway without much stress and financial burden.

Saucy wishes that lesson would have made its way to her a little earlier in the year when a fellow blogger accused her of copying a cake that she decorated on the fly for Sunday dinner.

Saucy kind of took offense to this and she went all bedbug on that blogger's ass.

Not her finest moment to be sure, but she readily coughs it up when she's trying something from another blog or source. She was just really fed up and tired of dealing with... people.

Because to be sure, when you are volunteering in your community you are bound to interact with a few ~~crazies~~ people of other backgrounds with other belief systems. Strangely enough, the 2011 Pattern of Terrible Two's continued here as well and Saucy was bombarded with phone calls, emails, and text messages by two women with the same first name who didn't like Saucy's blog, the way Saucy said anything, the way Saucy did anything, in fact... the way Saucy ever did any of the stuff they didn't bother to do for the community themselves.

So there. And just to further clarify:

And lastly... the 2011 Pattern of Terrible Two's concluded with a second terrible car collision last Friday.

In both cases, the wrecks were caused by the other driver's careless driving. Things like fiddling with your phones, texting and eating while you drive can wait. Saucy wants everyone to remember that, and pause for a moment to make a resolution for 2012 that you will not put anyone else at risk because you are updating your Facebook status from behind the wheel.

Again last Friday Saucy's Jeep took the impact like a trooper and kept everyone safe. Yes, the brand new Jeep Veto gave her for an early Christmas present in December.

Hell, it not only doesn't look like that anymore, it's not even driveable. Loopy was in the passenger seat and thankfully, both she and Saucy are no worse for the wear other than some bumps and bruises.

And so, Saucy can reflect on 2011 as nothing more than a Pattern of Terrible Two's.

Two stupid arguments with Veto over two kinds of bugs.
Two cheerleading dramas.
Two crazy ladies in the neighbourhood with access to text messaging.
Two terrible accidents in two Jeeps because of two careless drivers.

To put a positive spin on all of it, Saucy is thankful to be here, thankful to have learned from her mistakes and thankful for all of the ~~crazy~~ wonderful, loving people in her life. She has one last Terrible Two for 2011:

Happy New Year.

festive front entry

2011-12-19T11:55:00.000-06:00

Saucy's collection of red and green ornaments made their way into the front entry this year.

Nothing says fun and funky at the holidays than red and green, especially if the green tends towards a hit of lime.

The presents under this small tree are colour - coded. If it's wrapped in red and green, it's one of the gifts that goes out of the house. Once this tree is bare underneath, Saucy knows all of her shipping and deliveries are finished.

The awesome glittery sign is from Dollarama. Hell, most of Saucy's decorations are from the dollar store, but you knew that already.

The spool of baker's twine is from Anthropologie. Saucy's kicking herself that she didn't get the green one also.

The light from the tiny staircase window catches the glittery stuff on the tree and it sprays sparkles all over the walls.

It's magical.

The candy at the front door disappears quickly.

Also magic.

it's the most wonderful stress of the year

2011-12-15T10:23:00.000-06:00

This time of year is so busy, and Saucy gets so much done, but she just doesn't seem to have the time to take pictures and blog about it.

You'll just have to believe her that she made some fabulous cookies this week.

The presents are almost wrapped, but there's still some shopping to be done. Ugh.

At least the outside of the house is ready to go.

The urns are decked out with their assortment of Dollarama foliage. Even those vintage tin signs came from the dollar store.

Saucy is a little sheepish to admit, she paid twenty dollars for the birch branches. Everyone in this town is cutting down their birch trees and Saucy couldn't find anyone's garbage to salvage for her decorations. She bought the bundle at Superstore.

They're awfully darn nice, though.

Even Mother Nature has been too busy to make it snow. She's probably got a list a mile long, just like you and Saucy do.

If you could take just one task off your list, what would it be?

team effort

2011-12-12T20:57:00.001-06:00

This Saturday, the Cheerios had their first cupcake sale in an actual shopping mall. It was a little nerve-wracking, trying to figure out how many cupcakes to make for that kind of event. Saucy figured it would be pretty busy, being a nice suburban shopping centre - a couple of weeks before Christmas and all. She wanted to make and sell as many cupcakes as possible, without having leftovers.

Leftovers, although they've never happened to us, would not be cool.

What would you do with leftover cupcakes other than eat them?

There were some delicious new varieties, however. The Vanilla Snowball. Those went fast.

The Nanaimo Bar cupcakes were a hit, also.

We always make Grasshoppers and they always sell well.

The Saturday Special was new, the Reese Lover's cupcake: chocolate topped with vanilla buttercream, a Hershey square, chocolate shavings, Reese's Pieces and a miniature Reese's peanut butter cup. We don't usually do anything with peanut but we had some requests so we tried it, and yes, it was also a hit.

The Red Velvets were dressed for the holidays with jaunty, fat little marshmallow gingerbread boys that hitched a ride home from Chicagoland Target with Saucy.

The Salted Caramels were new and they were delicious. So we were told. We didn't get to try any, they sold so fast.

By popular demand, the Breakfast Special made one more appearance this year.

Thankfully, we had all hands on deck Friday night - baking, frosting, decorating and counting. The counting usually trips us up. Don't laugh... *insert cheerleader joke here*.

What are The Cheerios learning by cupcaking? They are learning to be self-sufficient, that things like trips and competitions and uniforms won't just be handed to them because they're so cute. They're learning valuable skills in the kitchen (measuring, finishing, planning, presentation). They're gaining entrepreneurial skills and how to deal with customers. They have to count cash and make change - and on Saturday they even had to go to the bank to change in large bills for smaller ones.

Lastly, it's all about teamwork. A bake sale of this proportion will only work if every single girl comes out and helps out. This is not just a bake sale, people. This is a life lesson, with frosting.

The traditional "money shot" is the best part of the day. The table was empty - not a crumb in sight - in under three hours. In fact, the Cheerios are invited back on December 22nd for another kick at this cupcake and Saucy is left to wonder... how many to make for that event?

On Saturday they pushed 600 cupcakes, but many of them were pre-ordered and picked up at the mall. But, the 22nd is a Thursday and we can be at the mall from 9:00 AM - 9:00 PM if we so wish.

So, any suggestions? Saucy will make you eat the leftovers, if there are any.

saucy's holiday wish list

2011-12-12T00:00:00.000-06:00

It's almost Christmas and Saucy hasn't even thought about what she wants. Usually she has a list a mile long, she's greedy like that. She gawked around in Chicago but nothing really jumped up or turned her crank.

Veto bought her a shiny new Jeep a couple of weeks ago. Clearly, she's spoiled. Christmas already came this year, but a girl can dream, can't she?

Sure, she needs new pyjamas and slippers... but don't we all? What does Saucy want?

Saucy wants fresh-smelling Soap and Glory bath products from Shoppers Drug Mart. There's something about the fragrance that reminds her about being a kid, it's like a scent that was in The Fan's makeup vanity or something. She just lurrves it.

She kinda wants a Mrs. Obama doll. No word of a lie. It's awesome.

The silver Tiffany bracelet she's worn every day for ten years has pretty much plum worn right out. The clasp isn't working anymore and the tag is worn so thin, it's going to fall off any day now. She might like to switch it up to another style, maybe the heart tag. It looks like it won't wear away as fast.

And speaking of jewelry, her pearl earrings are also worn down and mismatched now. She needs a new pair, badly. She wore the same pair every single day since she was sixteen and a couple of years ago she lost one so she got a crappy little replacement pair at Winners and so began a series of lost earrings with bad backs and lately she's been wearing crappier earrings from Claire's. You know, the one dollar kind. From bad to worse.

A measuring cup that is also a scale. This is probably way more practical than jewelry.

This is what saucy needs... a scraper beater blade attachement for the stand mixer. Oh, how she covets this!

Oh... and an extra K45 bowl for the stand mixer. Cupcake baking bees would be so much easier if only Saucy had one more of these bowls. The one with the handle, please.

Baker's twine in stylish colours... available here.

She and Loopy both want retro Pan Am flight bags! Hey, where did that show go? They liked it. She wants the show to come back on the air... can someone do that?

And the last thing Saucy wants is... um... enough said. Available here.

There are even more things to wish for on Saucy's Pinterest board here.

It's an odd list, Saucy knows it. She wonders... what's on your wish list this year? If you spill it here, it might come true.

lost voice

2011-12-08T20:20:00.001-06:00

Well, it's official. Saucy has lost her voice. She has a thin, raspy little squeak where her voice used to be. It started yesterday but right now, it's a complete loss.

She did errands around town today without the ability to say please, thank you, or get the hell out of my way. She couldn't get a coffee in the drive-through line because she couldn't yell into the speaker. The girl at the candy counter thought Saucy was deaf and started doing a little makeshift sign language over rock candy and chewing gum.

If you have any tips or hints, please share them. In the meantime, Saucy is going to attempt having the Cheerios over tomorrow night to bake 500 cupcakes for the big sale on Saturday. So if you have a cure or concoction, make it speedy.

She might be in serious trouble this weekend.

lies chelsea handler told them

2011-12-06T20:49:00.001-06:00

Saucy has returned no worse for the wear after a very quick weekend trip to Chicago.

This annual trip to the Windy City has become a tradition whereupon Saucy and Veto join up with Veto's cousin, The Warden and his wife... The Inmate. If you knew them, you would know these are apt nicknames indeed.

The first lie occurred when Saucy asked for a small refrigerator to be brought to her hotel room. She figured that stocking up on yogurt and milk at Walgreens would keep her blood sugar somewhat stable with all the martinis she was planning to partake in. Plus, she likes to have a little spot to stash cupcakes and whatnots in her hotel room. She bade Veto to do her dirty work and he phoned the concierge and explained that his wife needed a small fridge to store her medication, would they bring one up after all? This is most certainly a partial lie... Saucy does store her ample medications in the refrigerator but she did not have any with her on this particular trip. She felt guilty for a fleeting moment about the lie but at four in the morning when she awoke thirsty and peckish, she was glad of a job well done.

When she got home, she took some of her medication right away because Karma's a bitch like that.

Another lie happened at... where else... the bar. Saucy readily admits that she relishes the signage that claims "we ID all patrons" because deep down she thinks maybe, just perhaps, the bartender might suspect her to be *cough* under twenty one. The brandishing of ID validates her youthful and some might say immature behaviour in these establishments.

The Inmate, she was unprepared for such a falsehood of self-esteem and was without a bar card on this particular evening. Of course, she happened to be craving a glass of wine and the young woman behind the bar nodded to the sign... it appeared that The Inmate would be the designated babysitter of the group.

While Saucy was pulling out her ID, she found something she forgot she'd been carrying. Loopy's learner's permit, expired from a year ago. Hmm.... could it work? Could The Inmate pass for a fifteen year old? Was the lighting that flattering?

Apparently so. The young woman scanned the foreign identification with a surly brow, all nodding and serious. She gazed up at The Inmate and down again at the card. She paused, switched cards, eyed Saucy and nodded again. She returned to the other card and Saucy felt a nasty knot form in her unmedicated gullet. Why so serious?

Friends, it was the fleeting sort of feeling that came on weekends between the years 1984 and 1988. The nervous perspiration, the passing of someone else's card... attempting to look thirty four instead of eighteen. Except... it was the exact opposite. But the feeling, it was familiar.

The employee fingered the card for a moment curiously and Saucy thought they were busted for sure. As in the late eighties, Saucy felt that if her friend failed the card test then she too would have to go dry in solidarity and it did not look good. It did not look good at all.

And then, the cards were handed back and the drink orders were taken. The deed had been done. The Inmate had passed off Loopy's ID as her own and we were left to our own devices at the wine bar.

The last lie was a whopper.

During dinner, still high from the excitement of passing the false ID, Saucy was approached by a genial young fellow. "Excuse me," he said, "are you Chelsea Handler?"

"Why yes, I am" purred Saucy. At that moment she got a kick under the table from Veto who by this time has been forced into lying to the concierge and witnessed the miracle of the ID. Don't do it, the kick said. Don't pull this guy's leg. He looks nice.

He was nice. He is so nice. He asked for a picture with Chelsea and Saucy fessed up. He kinda sorta didn't believe her at first. She insisted that she was no more than a third rate blogger who scammed bar fridges and ran fake ID's out of her Juicy clutch.

Saucy is a lot of things, Dear Reader. She's no Chelsea Handler.

He returned to the table for a photo op and a visit later. His name is Skippy Jessop and he's going to be famous someday. He told great stories - all of them true - about the celebrities he's met and the ones he's been photographed with. Some of them are mean but most of them are not. You can check out his website here, he's the real deal. He and Saucy are Internet friends now and you should follow him too!

You can read about Skippy's fascinating brushes with fame and find out why and how he ended up in Chicago to study acting at the Piven Theatre Workshop on his website. Go on, check it out. It's a really funny story. Follow him on Twitter, if you're one of those people.

very traditional

2011-12-01T10:51:00.001-06:00

Saucy managed to get the tree up sooner rather than later this year... she even got the foyer tree up and the stair garlands are hung, but she'll show those to you next week.

It's not a theme tree this year like others - no particular colour scheme... but an assortment of all the traditional mercury glass ornaments that have been saved and passed down over the years. Saucy is especially happy with her new 10 foot slimline pre-lit tree to show them off. The other tree she had for this room was just too full and fat, it looked a little cramped. The pre-lit tree is the cat's pyjamas. Saucy will never look back now.

Saucy likes her Christmas trees the way she likes her men: a little on the taller side, not too thick, and easy to manage.

With the new kitchen looking so old fashioned and traditional, this just seemed like a nice way to go with the main tree. No, the presents aren't wrapped yet. But this is one big task off the list. Time to get shopping! Saucy is off to Chicago to hit the Magnificent Mile over the weekend. Next week, the wrapping. Ugh.

2011-11-26T10:10:00.001-06:00

This weekend Saucy and the Cheerios will be hawking cupcakes and hats at a special event! It's an opportunity for them to do some fundraising and also help a wonderful local cause, the Hands On Street Ministries.

This organization is dedicated to supporting the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of inner city youth in our community. It is a good opportunity for the Cheerios to give back... to understand that not every young person is as lucky as they are. The girls are excitedly planning to bake Christmas cupcakes for the ministry in December.

Local peeps, if you are out and about and would like to do some holiday shopping while supporting a worthy cause (or two) then please pop by Ms. Tammi's house at the address listed above tomorrow afternoon. She has graciously organized this event and opened the doors to her home to the vendors in attendance, all to benefit disenfranchised young people.

Oh, and if you are short on spending money: bring your old unwanted gold jewelry - The Gold Refinery will be on site paying CASH for your mismatched earrings and broken chains. You can put that money right towards hats and cupcakes!

The cupcakes offered will by some of our most popular flavours and special edition holiday choices, so get there early. Plus, the hats will be on display and ready to take - you won't have to place an order and wait for delivery (unless the ones you want sell out fast).

Hope to see you there,
Saucy

everybody wins

2011-11-21T20:19:00.001-06:00

Today was a good day for Saucy and the Cheerios to repay a favour. One of Saucy's cheer coach friends has spent a fair bit of time helping her out with the new rules and helping Saucy make sure the Cheerios get placed at the proper competition level this year.

To repay this kindness, the Cheerios visited their practice with a signed poster to wish them good luck with their season and cupcakes in their school colours of red, black and white.

This, Dear Reader, is why Saucy lurrves the sport of cheerleading. In what other sport would the coach of a competing team help another? In what other sport would teams come together and cheer for each other... not against each other? Today both teams saw their coaches visiting with each other and enjoying each other's company. Tomorrow, if they are competing against each other at the same event, they won't cast each other the evil eye.

Today, everybody wins!

angel food cupcakes

2011-11-18T14:37:00.001-06:00

Saucy usually has her stuff together but this week, she didn't. It was The Fan's birthday on Wednesday and Saucy had the family over on Monday for birthday dinner (homemade lasagna... mmm...).

She made the mistake of asking Snooks and Loopy to run to the store for an angel food cake mix - time was of the essence and there was a cheer practice later that afternoon. She planned to bake up mini angel food cakes in these sturdy, upright paper cups.

Well, you can see that she did it, but when she tells you this was the nicest looking one of the lot, she's not lying. She waited AN INORDINATE AMOUNT OF TIME for the girls to return with the cake mix BECAUSE THEY WERE LOLLYGAGGING AND GADABOUTING AND TRAPSING through the aisles of the grocery store.

*insert nagging mother voice here*

By the time they returned with the mix, Saucy whipped it up, scooped it, and set the tray in the oven. When it was time to leave for practice, they were just not quite finished. You know how angel food bakes up - super high. Well, they were super high. Until Saucy turned the oven off and left for Cheerio practice, leaving them to... uh... finish.

For the record, they finished. They didn't burn and they weren't overcooked, but they sure as hell weren't pretty. Saucy used a long pastry filling tip and squirted the middle with lemon filling and topped them with whipped cream.

A pastry bag filled with whipped cream: it hides almost all imperfections. This week, it saved the day.

bucket list

2011-11-15T11:11:00.001-06:00

When tidying the office this morning, Saucy happened upon an interesting document. It was entitled Bucket List and it was compiled by Loopy and two of the Cheerios: JWOWW and Beegie.

Saucy giggled as she scrolled through the sixteen items on the list so far. She thought she might share them with you in order to offer some insight to the working mind of a sixteen year old girl.

To clarify, that is somewhat of an oxymoron, "the working mind of a sixteen year old girl" as you will plainly see from this list.

Saucy is convinced this would be one stressed out, ticked-off mime by the time the entire ordeal was over and he would immediately seek employment as a coffee barista.

Please, not for Victoria's Secret. Please.

Okay, as long as it does not involve road tripping, hitch hikers, sky diving, hump back whales, or mimes.

They would like to record an album.

Perhaps it is the first scheduled stop on their world tour whilst promoting their album, as the opening act for Dane Cook.

And lastly,

Hey, at least it's not a milk carton. That's something. Everyone has a dream.

Dear Reader, what was on your bucket list when you were sixteen years old? Did you do it? It's never to late.

new batches

2011-11-13T21:00:00.001-06:00

A new season of cheerleading means new batches of Cheerios... and new batches of cupcakes! This weekend the veteran Cheerios made room in the kitchen for the new girls and things worked out sweetly.

Twenty Cheerios worked together to make twenty flavours of cupcakes to sell at the Christmas market on Saturday. They churned out old standbys and a few new ones.

As you can see, the new ones were beyond cute... they were adorable.

The Cheerios were not familiar with the term "blue plate special" but they sure enjoyed creating these little breakfast cupcakes. One white chocolate candy melt, slightly warmed with a heat gun and then poked with a mini yellow M&M made a perfect yolky egg. French Toast Crunch cereal for toast and then carefully slicing down striped chewing gum for bacon - those were the stand ins.

They looked mighty fine all in a row. Quality control was lacking and one cupcake missed its bacon. One of the quick thinking girls announced to a customer "it was for vegetarians" and saved the sale.

Stuffed Lemon Buster, Egg Nog, The Full Minty.

Our Dirty Blondes (chocolate buttercream on vanilla sponge) were extra fancy, dolled up with sugar pearls, vanilla sparkling sugar and royal icing flowers.

The Bowman Bear was a dense pistachio cake with yellow buttercream and a decorated Teddy Graham.

Superkid, Double Chocolate, Mike n' Ikes.

The Hamburger Cupcake: available in chocolate and vanilla. Plain vanilla buttercream frosting topped with a tiny hamburger cookie. It was sort of the lunch special after the breakfast special.

The best part? The girls reward for their hard work came in knowing they'd done the job well... oh, and cold hard cash.

No, wait. This might have been the best part.

No, wait. This for sure was the best part.

ganache, marshmallow and a question

2011-11-09T10:55:00.003-06:00

Saucy made a batch of s'mores cupcakes from the Martha Stewart Cupcakes cookbook (thank you again, sweet Leica!) and they turned out really beautifully. The ganache was quick and easy and did keep its shine. A quick hit with the kitchen blow torch gave the topping it's toasted effect.

The marshmallow cooked up so easily (it's a gelatin and sugar water recipe) - but there wasn't quite enough in the finished batch to pipe generously onto 24 cupcakes. Saucy piped 18 not-so-generous cakes and got to wondering, do you think this recipe can be easily doubled?

It's not the gelatin part that has Saucy wondering, it's the boiled sugar and water part. Would bringing a larger batch of sugar water to the soft ball stage on the candy thermometer mess things up just enough so it wouldn't turn out right? Would the sugar caramelize before reaching 238 degrees?

If you have any thoughts on this, please let Saucy know. She'd like to let the Cheerios give this type of frosting a whirl this weekend at their first sale. It's a cost-effective type of frosting and some of the customers might like an alternative to buttercream. Making small batches would be a royal pain in the pom pom.

the tour

2011-11-07T21:20:00.002-06:00

The kitchen is ready! The kitchen is ready! Let's go on a tour, shall we? Are you ready for too many pictures?

Let's start at the corner, a very good place to start.

In the corner, next to the dishwasher is the plate cabinet.

Saucy planned a large spacious counter-depth cabinet to fit the display platters and the daily dishes. The daily dishes look like they came from Anthropologie, but they didn't. They're from London Drugs.

The first shallow drawer holds the daily cutlery, the oven mitts and the remote control for the little TV on the wall beside the cabinet.

The deep drawers below hold the cookware. Stainless steel pots and pans in the middle drawer, copper cookware in the bottom drawer.

Above the dishwasher is a very handy spot for drinking glasses! Please, when you are putting them away, put them away just so.

The sink might be the highlight of the tour. The deep farmhouse sink sits in a cabinet made of red oak stained mushroom grey - it gives a light grey/mauve effect. This cabinet piece is distressed and has different doors than the rest of the kitchen. Saucy adores the crystal door handles.

Lynda Reeves famously said that "faucets are the jewel of the kitchen" and Saucy agrees! This bridge faucet with side spray accommodates large stock pots with its high arch design.

The Fan found that little metal kitchen sign in Europe a couple of years ago.

The glass window is not original to the house, Saucy had it made and fitted during the first phase of renovations in 2007. The light fixture is from one of Saucy's favourite shops in town.

Beside the sink, a drawer full of measuring cups. Saucy wonders why she has several sets of measuring cups but only one full cup measure? This is a mystery.

Below this drawer, a pull-out garbage. No photo! Gross.

In the other corner, another blue cabinet. This one sits on the marble counter and nests deep into the unusable corner space.

Oh, and Saucy purposely chose to use the mismatched cabinetry in her kitchen. She kinda digs the look and figures that since the house is nearly 100 years old, it might look like the kitchen was added and changed over time, not entirely new. She didn't want that entirely new look. Both corner pieces are blue paint because she thought it might look like someone got busy and painted them blue by themselves. They got tired and didn't paint the rest of the cabinets.

Behind the tall blue door its deep shelving that holds baking supplies, baskets filled with granola bars and snacks, and the bread stuff.

The drawer with the spoon handle holds measuring spoons! You are certainly wondering why someone has so many damned measuring spoons.

The drawer with the knife handle holds... knives!

And, the drawer with the little fork handle holds serving pieces.

Saucy just adores how her drawers pull all the way out, so she can easily find what she's looking for. No bending, squinting, or swearing.

The base cabinet below holds plastic containers filled with cereals. Saucy lurrves her some plastic container organization. It prevents little mice from having access. One hundred year old houses near the river attract little mice and Saucy likes to starve them if at all possible.

Also in this corner base - the flat pans, cutting boards and pot lids. They all have a spot.

The old fashioned Pottery Barn phone is on this wall...

... so the drawer below has a handy phone book along with much-used smaller tools!

The little pot lights add so much light, Saucy can barely contain herself. It's like she's seeing her utensils for the first time.

Gadzooks, Saucy adores this corner of the world.

From afar... the cubby holes don't stash wine, that's flavoured vodka. The wine is elsewhere.

Behind these upper doors, more plastic stacking containers hold pasta, rice, and other dry goods. It's extremely tidy but you'll just have to take Saucy's word for it. Below, there are pull-outs for mixes and envelopes too. A place for everything!

The range and cooking area is directly across from the sink.

If the faucet is the jewel of the kitchen, then the pot filler is the engagement ring! It's the swoon-worthy, the smile-inducing older sister of the sink tap.

Near the stove, a drawer full of large utensils. Another shallow drawer holds the metal and stainless steel utensils. Saucy and her OCD like to sort these separately.

Next to the range, a bank of cabinets filled with kitchen linens and the parchment, foil and wraps (bottom drawer). There you will also find a handy place to sit for Loopy or any other Cheerio who wants to perch with an after school snack and do homework while Saucy putters.

Guess what? The toaster oven died! It made Saucy and Loopy sad, they used it almost every day. They plum wore it out. It was going to go right there, next to the coffee maker, below the microwave.

The chalkboard remains... for messages and doodles, close to the phone.

Dear Pot Filler, Saucy loves you.

Sincerely,

Saucy

xoxoxoxo

Here's where the layout gets tricky. There was no room in the original floor plan for a very large family-friendly refrigerator. Saucy moved it into the old breakfast nook, and surrounding it with cabinetry she now calls the area the pantry.

Like a butler's pantry, but with no butler.

Beside the fridge, concealed behind cabinet doors, the imaginary butler can find the water cooler, aprons, seldom used pans, and the fire extinguisher. It needs to get attached to the wall up there.

Do you wonder why everything suddenly looks so... pink?

Oh yeah! That's what Saucy's talkin' about. A custom neon sign. Saucy wasn't always known as Saucy... back in the day, the family called her Sasha Baby and she doodled up a design in a drafting class. Eventually she took that doodle to a neon artist and had it made for real.

And now, it's here. In the no-butler-butler's pantry, casting a delicious pinky glow on everything.

Plus, it faces the doors that open to the deck and the outdoor kitchen. It will look pink and funky next summer during evening pool parties!

Here is The Wall of Sprinkles. Saucy warned you it would be EPIC. Eight shelves of 21 jars... that's... a helluva lot of sprinkles. Saucy was never good at math.

The wine cooler chills all of the wine that Saucy does not drink. It will, however, be a nice temperature to offer her guests.

But perhaps they would like an espresso or some sort of steamed flavoured hot beverage?

Above, teas and coffees are stashed. The little apothecary drawers hold the doo dads for the espresso maker, the strainers and tea pincers.

The bank of drawers hold less frequently used items that the non-existant butler may find handy in this area of his!

Just scissors, pastry cutters and scoopers. Lots of scoopers... let's put those Cheerios to work, shall we?

Graters and thermometers.

Cupcake papers (the plain kind most often used - the fancy ones are stored above the fridge), sticks and bags. This is bottom-drawer stuff.

Under the neon sign, this area is wide open for work space. Imagine all of the cupcakes cooling and being decorated here.

The junk drawer resides in the butler's pantry because even non-existant butlers need junk!

This is where Saucy houses confectioner's sugar, baking sugar and flour. Each of those bins holds 10 kg.

And now the fun part... adding the cute stuff, the decorations that will make this kitchen thoroughly complete.

And then Saucy must roll up her sleeves and get to work. The Cheerios will be here on Thursday and Friday, making frosting and then baking for Saturday morning. She is enjoying the pristine clean look of the kitchen right now.

It may never look like this again.

Seriously. Not even kidding.

open for business

2011-11-07T14:07:00.004-06:00

Friends, the new kitchen is operational. Saucy made a batch of her famous not-so-secret recipe chicken fingers last night to break it in.

Today, with light streaming in the windows, she has been photographing it to share with you. She'll go through the pictures after Cheerios practice and do a full post after supper.

And yes... there is a neon sign. Swooooon. See you later!

wannabes

2011-10-31T14:52:00.001-06:00

The Spice Girls (Cheerios) hit the road early this morning... in fact, they slept over last night just to make sure they'd all arrive at school together today. It's too bad there was no paparazzi to greet them. They really committed to their parts - check out the platform shoes and Loopy's red hair.

It's also too bad that Snookie was home with the flu, she was slated to be Scary Spice and trust Saucy on this one... if there were every any roles that were typecast, this group is it.

Pictured: JWOWW as Sporty Spice, Beegie as Baby Spice, Loopy as Ginger Spice, and Mayhem as Posh.

Saucy hopes your Halloween is more treats than tricks, that you are able to turn off your lights early and consume your favourite of the bite-sized candy bars out of your children's bags after they've fallen asleep in a sugar-induced coma.

2011-10-27T14:27:00.001-06:00

If you're looking for an explanation for Saucy's absence, here it is.

Yes, she knows this is not rocket surgery or brain science. This is only cheerleading tryouts at one tiny school in one medium-sized town. But it matters, to almost eighty girls.

Can you believe it? Eighty. (Oh, and even during the writing of this post Saucy is fielding text messages from parents who wonder if it's not too late for their kid to come out today - on the last day - as they were away for the first two days...)

Some hearts will be broken. It is inevitable and Saucy cannot prevent the tears that might be shed. Saucy worries about the mothers who may have to deal with the disappointment and drama after school on Friday. All of the consoling ice-cream sundaes that have to be made after supper.

Because, it's not fair to make everyone wait over the weekend to see if they've made the team. It really should be posted by the end of school day tomorrow. Then all of the tears, the disappointment and the fussing can be behind everyone when classes meet on Monday morning. Hopefully.

Saucy is faced with the age-old dilemma of choosing who to take with her on a pretty amazing journey and who might get left behind. The reason she does not take these things lightly is this: if someone says it's just cheerleading tryouts, it won't change the rest of your life... they're wrong. Dead wrong.

For the girls who make the team, they will learn leadership skills that will help them in the classroom and later on in their careers. Kids who participate in school activities and sports statistically perform better in academics (even cheerleaders) and Saucy wants as many girls possible to have the leg-up. Those who make the team will learn valuable lessons about setting goals, meeting challenges and overcoming obstacles. They will travel. They will make friends for life.

They might, like Saucy, take to it so much that they grow up and become teachers and coach teams of their own. Like Saucy, they might look up one day so far into the future that their teams are competing against teams being coached by kids they coached. It's like, the circle of life or something. Only not quite as deep as that.

What Saucy really means is, she worries about the kids that get left behind. She doesn't want one deserving soul to miss out on the opportunities - or the friends.

Hell, she's not even talking about the cupcakes. The cupcakes are a whole other story. Let's not talk about learning entrepreneurial skills, handling money, budgeting, customer service and the simple tasks of wielding a pastry bag and scooping batter.

So, wish her luck, people. She's facing an unpleasant task. She has actually had sleepless nights this week... when she closes her eyes she sees those eager faces. She's not even lying. She actually sees them. She's been tossing and turning. She can only hope she does the right thing by everyone, if it's possible.

It's going to be a very long evening.

it's that time of year again

2011-10-23T20:18:00.003-06:00

It's... Cheerio cupcake time! Tryouts for the team are this week. Saucy's not sure how many kids will try out for the sixteen-or-so available spots. The girls who make the team will be practicing, cheering, and of course, cupcaking like crazy.

Saucy filled two or three little cupcake orders by herself this week to get some seed money for the year. Butter, flour and sugar doesn't grow on trees you know! Leica ordered some Red Velvet and some Cheery Cherry Lemonade - she hauled them all the way to Toronto. Sarge's mom ordered some Classic Vanilla Birthday cupcakes - and that was enough short profit for Saucy to bankroll the supplies needed for the first big event of the season:

Local peeps, mark your calendars! The Cheerios sold out in three hours last year so you might want to get there early. They can make a few more for each sale this year, now that Saucy has another baking area downstairs... but still. If you want the Cheerios to set aside a selection for you, just leave a comment or email Saucy at sasha{dot}libby{at}shaw{dot}ca.

Available at the Dalmeny sale: Red Velvet, Double Chocolate, Oreo, Sprinkles Signature, S'mores, Candy Cane Craze, Grasshopper, Dirty Blonde, Classic Vanilla Birthday, and special editions for that event only: Superkid, Choco-Cherry and the Dalmeny Breakfast Special.

So cute... You. Will. Die.

what girls like

2011-10-19T20:13:00.002-06:00

Saucy knows what girls like! Girls like freshly painted, sparkly hotel-style bathrooms!

Girls like jars filled with soft fluffy cotton pads for taking off eye makeup.

Girls like gentle, fresh smelling skincare products at the ready.

Girls like hand soaps and hand lotions that smell like baking.

Girls like retro styled goodies from Soap & Glory.

Girls like sparkly little chandeliers hanging over wide, curved shower curtains.

Girls like having handy supplies like cotton swabs and makeup sponges.

Girls like it when the tissue is folded over, not under! Girls especially like a dart fold finish.

Girls like waste baskets that have style but are easy to keep clean!

Girls like little tables next to the bathtub to hold candles, scents and washcloths.

Girls like embroidered bumblebees on bath sheets and hand towels.

Girls like old fashioned medicine chest for holding excess tubes, jars and bottles.

Yes, Girls like Love's Baby Soft.
Girls like Bliss body scrubs and lotions.
Girls like Khiel's shampoos and conditioners.

Girls like extra storage under the vanity for linens. Saucy would like some time tomorrow to touch up the funny little chips in the dark finish.

Girls like elegant wall sconces with crystals and a foxy metal shade. Saucy would like it if it worked. Yes, she put a bulb in it. Yes, she got another bulb and tried it. Now she's just going to have to like waiting for Handyman to fix it.

And that's what girls like Saucy and Loopy like.

awkwardly, footloose

2011-10-18T00:43:00.000-06:00

It took Saucy a couple of days to process what she saw over the weekend and to come to terms with the fact that she rather enjoyed it. Normally she doesn't like anyone messing with her vintage teen years, her eighties, her time. She enjoys the memories faded and a little blurry, as if taken with a Polaroid and left to turn vague and yellow on a bulletin board.

She was fairly sure that she was not going to enjoy Footloose, the remake, as she somewhat fondly recalled the Footloose of her youth:

See? A little faded, no worse for the wear. Readily available for viewing any given Sunday afternoon on a movie channel. Just a tad preachy but entertaining.

And then she saw a poster for the new version, all crisp and hi-def and such and she thought for a moment... she wasn't ready for a change. She thought at first that the poster looked like it should say Footloose Two: Dirty Havana Nights.

But when faced with the eventuality of the show opening last weekend, she examined her feelings closer. She attempted to ferret out the root of her fears and it was this:

Her teen years, all angst-ridden and awkward, were... awkward. They were documented in film by John Hughes and Saucy was no Molly Ringwald.

She was kind of the other, awkward girl. More awkward than that. Weren't we all, Dear Reader?

So on Friday night, Saucy and Loopy headed to the Cineplex and poor Loopy suffered as Saucy waxed enthusiasm about how, in 1984, she was also in eleventh grade and saw the original Footloose. And the awkward memories came flooding after that:

But, Dear Reader, the more some things may be the same, the more some things might in fact change.

For instance, Ren does not dance with a cigarette or get out of his car with a beer. In the new version, Ren doesn't say pansy. Oh, and they cut that whole book-burning bit out. Nobody wants to talk about censorship, dammit! This is a movie about dancing!

But there are still some deliciously awkward moments. Awkward moments for a new generation!

This may not be a movie that defines Loopy's generation. In a laughable Google moment, Saucy found the phrase "Footloose is the seminal movie of the eighties" and she is unsure if that is true.

But, it was 1984 and Saucy was in eleventh grade and when she saw it, the music was awesome (she thought at the time) and that was enough for her. Hell, she was no Molly Ringwald and she was no movie critic, either.

So in 2011, Saucy returned to the theatre, prepared to be disappointed but she wasn't. She went with Loopy, who is in eleventh grade, who thought the music was awesome, and she also lurrved it.

Five magical, marshmallowy choke-on-the-glitter-in-your-mouth cupcakes! Cast aside your fears of the remake and enjoy it.

Oh, and PS: Saucy made Loopy watch the original version tonight. Not as good as she remembered, but plenty, plenty awkward.