Forgiveness is tricky business. Saucy readily admits it is not a commodity she deals in often. When someone crosses her, she prefers to hold onto the hurt until it festers into a quiet mental illness. Later, she doesn't hold the grudge. She just sort of lets go of the entire situation, and the person who dealt the blow becomes a distant memory. Is that forgiveness? She doesn't know. It's not like she's still hurt or anything, she just doesn't think about it anymore.
Over the holidays Saucy went to the mailbox and found a handwritten note from someone who had wronged her. The event took place about six years ago and it was the catalyst for being the only time in the history of ever that Saucy was fired from a job. Fired from a mediocre job at a crappy place, natch.
The note writer crafted a carefully worded apology to Saucy, accepting one hundred percent of the responsibility for what happened. She also indicated that she missed Saucy very much and sorely hoped that Saucy would forgive her.
You may find this cold, but Saucy has only fleetingly thought of this note since it arrived and in doing so she has more so contemplated why the apology finally came, not really what she should do about it.
Being a visual person and someone who fancies herself a scientific reasoner, Saucy pie graphed the situation in an attempt to ascertain whether or not she could issue the implored forgiveness.
Perhaps, Saucy considered, this person reads the blog and would like some sort of public acknowledgement of forgiveness.
No, Saucy is rather sure this person does not read her blog. There must be some other reason this request has come so many years after the fact.
Saucy admits, sometimes she has thought about the note writer over the years.
Mostly, Saucy thinks about you when she watches the movie Mean Girls.
This weekend Saucy had that drink and pondered the situation. What would it mean, to forgive you? What, if anything, would be the outcome? Would Saucy welcome you back into her life or would she simply pay lip service to the act of forgiveness and then continue to avoid every single shop in town that she knows you frequent?
Friends, Saucy does not know if forgiveness has a price. She knows that although Oprah and Ms. Norbury are proponents of it, she doesn't know if it's for her. Saucy thinks forgiveness is a gift. What justifies the gift of forgiveness? Carefully chosen words written in a six dollar greeting card?
Saucy does not know. This may make her a small person, and she's not afraid to admit it. She is flawed like that. She does not know if she will readily forgive, if at all.
Part of her wishes she could be all Taylor Swift about it and write a catchy ditty about the situation. She only knows one thing for sure: