Could it be possible that the celebrities are starting to listen to Saucy and heed her warnings? Not likely. At any rate, the SAG Awards last night proved interesting to say the least. There were no major fashion disasters to report to you... in fact, the actors really represented.
Today, Saucy decided that instead of just criticism, she would offer (where applicable) a little constructive criticism. So, she will be telling what might have been done to make bad outfits (of which there were few) better.
No improvement needed: Eva Longoria Parker, a vision in ivory. The perfect fit, lots of double faced tape, and if you look closely under her arm you can see it actually has a nude side panel. That bodice isn't going anywhere. The drop earrings are to die for.
Adorable little kids who are well dressed? No improvement needed. Kiernan Shipka and Areil Winter looked as sweet as can be.
Finally gets it just right: Sometimes Tina Fey doesn't get the awards outfit right, but she nailed it this time. It looks like red is her colour and Oscar de la Renta is her designer.
Quite right: it's a lovely drape, fit and colour, but the bosom is distracting. However, this is indiscretion is forgiven simply for the fact that Sophia Vergara wore her hair long and tousled, covering much of her shoulders. Had she worn it up, it would have been too much skin.
More right than wrong: Kyra Sedgewick's vintage number is highly structured and fitted. It did, however, sink like a black hole on the camera and any detail that it might have had disappeared. No matter. Her hair and her accessories made this look work.
Very right: Julia Stiles wears this fading column gown perfectly. The smoky eyes, tousled hair and matte grey nail polish make it very young and modern. Even the earrings are coordinated but not matchy-matchy.
No improvement needed: Juliana Margulies also worked a grecian column sheath and drop earrings. Her sleek ponytail was tres chic.
No improvement needed: Claire Danes in Louis Vuitton. Such a nice shape, interesting colour combo, and that snazzy velvet belt. Her bright pink lips pop, and thanks to Latisse, her eyes do too.
Perfect stripes: Haylee Steinfeld rocked this little Prada gown in what was the perfect choice for her age and the status of the event. She is young but has yet to make a misstep on the red carpet.
Only needed a statement necklace: Saucy guesses the statement necklace is so 2009, but this gorgeously draped gown on Susan Sarandon needed only amped-up accessories to be a major red carpet presence. Even sparkly cuff bracelets or a sparklier handbag would do. Wearing her hair down would have also been an improvement, it would appear less matronly.
Needs... something. But we're not quite sure. Perhaps Jennifer Lawrence simply was caught in an unflattering pose because the top is nice, the colour (although super bright) is nice and different, and the belt is a nice detail but maybe the belt and the shoes together are just too distracting. Saucy would like her to have tried this look on again without the belt and with some thin strappy heels in silver... that would be better.
Or maybe just lose the slit. That would do it.
Quite alright: Barbara Hershey... looking fit and comfortable. For women of a certain age, this dress is a better bet than what Susan Sarandon had on. It's just different, that's all. In a good way. However, she could have upped the ante with some oversized coppery bracelets.
Better than ever: Saucy's not a fan but she will admit that even Hilary Swank brought it. The shape, colour and detail on this gown are fabulous. She really floated out on the stage when she presented the In Memorium portion of the show... but she shouldn't have smiled so much for that.
Nice but too simple: Mariska Hargitay, in this perfectly fitted indigo gown. It's a little forgettable, unfortunately but she never lands on the worst-dressed lists. Saucy likes the accessories, they keep it from looking like a bridesmaids dress.
Oh so nice: this flowy, patterned red gown on Mila Kunis. She just really looked divine. She will be someone to watch at the Oscars.
A different hairdo: anyone agree? *Saucy sighs aloud* it's not altogether wrong, but not altogether right and it must simply be the hair. Either a different updo with a little height to it, or wearing it around her shoulders would have simply nailed this look.
Lovely: Jane Krakowski brought it! This dress by Badgley Mischka has such nice colour and detail. Paired with coral earrings, it was divine for the night.
Finally right! Annette Bening, with her hair done and a bib-detail dress that fit and flattered.
Too-too much: Angie Harmon wore a Monique Lhuillier pink tulle and feather gown that was lovely enough to look at - and she tweeted that it was a dream to wear - but Saucy thinks this type of confection is more appropriate for the Academy Awards... maybe even for a nominee only at that. That's really the only problem, because it's a lovely gown. Minus the boning. The boning shouldn't show like that.
Black Amy: Amy Poehler wore simple black with a nicely cropped 'do.
White Amy: Amy Adams in a flowing off-white gown with a really simple, pretty neckline.
No improvements needed for either Amy.
However... Paz de la Heurta, who are you and what did we do to deserve this? Too fitted, too sparkly, too much.
Perfect Pitch: Heather Morris wearing a completely different look that her Glee Cheerios uniform. She was the best-dressed Glee clubber of the night.
Just about right: there's nothing glaringly wrong about this entire look but it's kind of like knitwear and Saucy, stuck in the boondocks, just doesn't get it. Seems a little 1994... the makeup does too. Maybe more natural makeup would have been the right touch.
Better than the Globes: Lea Michele finally breaks out of the mold! She wears her hair down and ditches the prom look for a cool seventies vibe! She always looks great, but Saucy just finished asking her to switch it up, didn't she?
Length adjustment: not really a problem with tea length, but Dianna Agron is quite petite and the length of this dress sort of swallowed her up. Saucy would have liked to have seen this as a floor-length look, but with the same accessories, hair and makeup - because they're right.
Grand recycling: Amber Riley looks just fab in this look... just fab. Only one thing to mention: Lea Michele wore practically the identical look to last year's Golden Globes. Oh well, nobody probably noticed that. No improvement needed otherwise.
Periwinkle peplum: Jane Lynch is taking some heat for this skirt, but Saucy says, it's not the skirt's fault. The skirt and the top don't go together. There should have been more to the top or less to the skirt. Your thoughts? She usually looks perfect.
Just right Jenna: Ushkowitz of Glee shines in this flippy confection and she broke out a necklace, which was nice to see.
Major improvement: Jayma Mays looks so much better in this peachy look... a mere couple of weeks after the Golden Globes and she actually looks healthier! Is it the colour, the dress, or the meals? Like Hilary Swank before her, this girl looks better with a little meat on her bones.
It's about time: about time for January Jones to look glamourous and not gimmicky! She left Versace for Carolina Herrera and all the better for her. The hair was a little much but she still looked nice.
Little Betty gets it right! A sparkly jacket over an aqua dress... she was a bright light with a racy little acceptance speech.
One of the best... who expected that? Valerie Bertinelli looked amazing in this deep crimson gown.
Valerie's Hot in Cleveland costars also looked good... but not as good as she did. No improvements necessary for Jane Leeves or Wendy Malick.
From The Office, Kate Flannery and Angela Kinsey look completely different than the characters they play... that is the idea, after all. Nobody wants to see what Meredith or Angela would come up with.
Also from The Office, Mindy Kaling and Ellie Kemper look young and glamorous. Mindy's silver belt is just great.
Ladies in Red: Both of these gals need an accessory intervention. Edie Falco, you need to wear some. Christine Baranski, those black shoes are just a tad too heavy for the gown.
Lost necklace: Nicole Kidman, what is going on? You are usually so put-together. While the dress is not wrong, it is not entirely right. The necklace, Saucy is unsure because she cannot see it around all that lace. It looks like a nice piece, but it's lost there.
Better, but not enough: Helena Bonham Carter marches to the beat of her own drum and doesn't care a lick what Saucy has to say about anything. That said, this look is much better than her disaster at the Golden Globes... barely. At least she ditched the costumey sunglasses...
Drat. So close.
The jury is out: Saucy would like a little more input about Christina Hendricks' look. She is so lovely, why isn't Saucy feeling it?
Better in black: if this dress worn by Kate Mara had been in black, it would have been a showstopper. In that case, even a black headband would have worked. In this case, the headband does not work at all.
Also needs black: visualize this look for a moment with the same top but a full length, black skirt (and black shoes). Better, right? Her name is Lauren Velaz and Saucy knows not who she is, and based on this outfit, she does not care.
It was difficult to find a solo picture of Best Actress Melissa Leo, but here she is flanked by the girls who played her daughters in The Fighter. The dress is actually very nice and she wore it well but all photographs from the event reveal the truth: even super-slim actresses need Spanx.
There now, Saucy doesn't feel half as bad.
Halle Berry wannabe: Kim Kardashian is at it again! She's dating Halle's ex and she's recycling her old looks too! The dress is nice but it would have looked better on a real actress not a faux celebrity. Plus, did she fall prey to Claire Danes Latisse commercial?
It appears so.
Hot pants: Julie Bowen stepped outside the box in a big way and for Saucy, it paid off (Saucy wore pants to her own wedding... you don't think she'd slam someone for wearing pants to a fancy event, do you?).
Worst: too bridal, too young, too much cleavage spilling over... that bag is too old, black and clunky. This look needs a complete overhaul to work. Had it been navy, with less severe hair and makeup, and a dainty clutch, Winona Ryder would have looked twenty times better. She also seemed oddly awkward on the red carpet, what do you think, Dear Reader?
Lastly, Saucy would like to leave you with a little man eye candy, to cleanse the palate:
Everyone said it, Saucy will say it again (for a different reason)... thank you Mark Wahlberg.
Mmmmm Jon Hamm.