Well, here's a post that's been a long time coming. Pepper can vouch for Saucy - the idea of posting pictures of herself sans makeup has been a lingering thought on Saucy's mind for a year or two now.
It just so happens that yesterday her pal Mrs. G over at Derfwad Manor set about a little challenge... like a truth or dare scenario. And when faced with such a decision, Saucy will almost always go dare. Why? Because she really tries to speak the truth all the time, no matter how ugly it is. So picking truth isn't really that much of a challenge for her. Let's go with dare, shall we?
Mrs. G dared her readers to send along or post pictures of themselves without their makeup on. Without their ammunition, as Saucy often calls it.
Since she's telling the truth, Saucy needs to say she'd rather die than be seen out and about without her makeup. This stems from a traumatic experience that dates back to her eleventh year, long before The Fan gave permission to wear Bonne Bell lipgloss to school on a regular basis.
The family was at Woolworth's - for what reason Saucy cannot say because truthfully, she cannot name another time she found herself in Woolworth's with her family - but, there she was. She asked permission to leave the small appliance department that her parents were engrossed in and went to the lunch counter on her own.
When she sat up to the counter to order a Coke, the lunch lady approached and asked,
"What'll it be, son?"
And there it was. The moment that Saucy's developing self-esteem was shaken to the core. The moment she faced her inner demons and realized, without makeup on, I must look like a boy.
Ever since that fateful day, Saucy has dutifully applied the cosmetics ascribed by Elle, Vogue and Glamour. The de-puffing cream. The undereye concealer. The skin lightening gels and the brow wax.
Yes, the brow wax. Without it, Saucy lacks the desired forty-five degree angle achieved when her makeup brush is held aloft her nose and alongside her inner eye.
And it's a shame.
Saucy supposes that it's a shame she's spent hours of her life obsessing over these minute details... but there it is. She can't get it back. She can't get back the value of a small hybrid automobile spent on said waxes, gels and creams, either.
But she can say, here I am. Like it or leave it. And she should. If nothing else, for Loopy and the rest of the Cheerios. Because no amount of product can make you feel good about yourself... you've got to do that part on your own.
For the record, Saucy feels pretty darn good about herself. But she's still going to try to get an appointment to have her roots done this weekend. Old habits die hard.