Readers who have been following this blog for some time have inquired of late, "is Loopy still a huge fan of the Jonas Brothers?"
The answer in short, is:
Last week Saucy and Loopy had three wonderful days with The Warden, The Inmate and some crazy cousins... and a chance to see the Jo Bros in concert for the third time.
This time, Saucy plotted, we know how to get good seats (fan club membership), we know to get to the venue early and sign the tour bus, and on and on... but even the best intentions can go awry. Listen to Saucy's tale of not being fully prepared for all contingencies:
Oh, and Reader, it is a sad tale indeed. Get out a hanky.
Strike one: Saucy, who 99.9% of the time packs a several Sharpie markers in her handbag - in varying colours no less - decided that this was the particular trip where packing light would be a priority, completely forgetting about the obligatory signing the bus and writing your email address in case one of them decides to contact you and you will fall in love and live happily ever after thing. This is where Loopy has to sign the bus with a ballpoint pen that The Inmate found under the seat of her vehicle. Things were off to a rocky start.
Loopy didn't complain, but Saucy knew that her heart had been set on emblazoning her name in some garish shade in a key location. She settled for a small handwritten message on top of some white painted hearts left by another fan with a more prepared mother.
Strike two: this is the part where The Inmate decides to take Curly to her first concert. It was terribly exciting for them to join in the fun. Did Saucy remember to hit the dollar store before leaving town and stocking up on those light-up glow sticks beforehand? No. This then, is the part where the lineups for souvenirs is very long and very overpriced. Loopy and Curly proceed into the event unadorned with neon.
Strike three... and not as much a strike as an absolute thrashing. This is the part at the pre-concert soundcheck that Nick Jonas makes eye contact with Loopy several times and makes an attempt to throw her his guitar pick after a song. The pick flutters and travels - an overzealous fan sitting nearby lunges in front of Loopy, claiming the pick as her own. Crushed, Loopy sits back down but it appears that Nick is unaware she is not in possession of his pick as he continues to smile at her for the rest of the event, even giving a little "nod and smile" goodbye her way when he leaves the stage. He's thinking he made her day by trowing a pick her way.
That pick, like Cinderella's slipper, surely would have changed her life.
Another strike: this is the part when the actual concert begins. Taking their amazing seats, Saucy realizes that she is in a primo spot to get some cool shots. Even though she left her big-girl camera at home, she knows her trusty purse camera with its Carl Zeiss lens will make her proud. This will be infinitely bloggable.
This is the part where the trusty purse camera dies. The battery just doesn't last as long as it used to, and truthfully, the day before was spent taking pictures of Curly and her brother doing canon balls into the pool... Saucy didn't recharge. She got cocky.
Now comes the part where Saucy races to the overpriced souvenir stand. Instead of glow sticks or programs, she spends ten dollars on... wait for it... a disposable camera.
A more grisly display of concert photography there never was. Not even at a Marilyn Manson concert.
Oh, and this part? This is the part where the camera recharged and took a picture of the ceiling.
Saucy would also like to mention at this point that it would be a very good exercise at some point to explain to your offspring the concept of film and limited exposures and the number twenty four. She realized that it was too late as Loopy was shooting, shooting, shooting... the opening act. "You'll run out of shots!" Saucy exclaimed. The look on Loopy's face was complete shock.
How on earth could you possibly "run out of shots" on a camera?
What do you mean the pictures might not "turn out?"
We can't delete the shots that aren't good?
Does. Not. Compute.
This is where Saucy commandeers the camera for the rest of the show, working as best she can to capture some images for the scrapbook.
Nick saunters by. Loopy goes wild. What's that, you say? Isn't Loopy head over heels for this guy:
Um, no. Not anymore. It would seem that after three years to reflect on the object of her affection, she has decided Nick to be more to her liking. He is, after all, closer in age, she reasons. Plus, Joe has become a bit of a serial dater who breaks up with girls over the phone and stuff like that. She's just not that into him.
The pictures? Well, there's something to be said for film, isn't there?
There's something to be said for disposable cameras. Something bad.
It got the job done. There's Nick again. He's within striking distance. That grey head in the foreground is the security guard Gary, whose sole purpose is to keep Loopy from tackling her betrothed in an effort to obtain an engagement pick for herself.
This is a gratuitous shot of Demi Lovato's footwear. Reader, notice the heel has been divided into two separate pieces and is joined by some sort of spike or screw contraption. They were amazing. How she didn't topple offstage and onto Gary is a complete mystery.
She did, however, sachet by several times, touching Loopy's outstretched hand.
Perhaps all the disposable camera photographs need is some creative editing. Remember, as Saucy always says, the crop tool is your best friend.
Check out that heavy-metal bling on Miss Disney over there.
Well, dear friends, it wasn't as bad as all that. The concert was great, and as luck would have it, Saucy and Loopy were seated beside another devoted fan of the same age, we call her Shortstop. Shortstop and Loopy were meant to sit together and become friends in some sort of magical, karma-filled universe. And since Shortstop has claimed Joe for herself, there's no competition.
These things have a way of working out, don't they?