sandwich artistry

Saucy wants to teach you how to be a sandwich artist, like her. You won't even have to wear a visor or a hairnet. Here is a tutorial on how to make your man a sandwich he'll never forget.

Because God wanted man to have sandwiches. Good ones.

Saucy made these special sandwiches for consumption on Masters Sunday for Veto to take to the Man Shack. You do remember the man shackwiches from last year, don't you? Saucy decided to switch it up a bit this year... and kick it up a notch to boot.

This year, she started with home-baked bread:

Don't get too excited. She sort of cheated... it's the kind you get in the bakery department that's ready to pop in your oven and finish baking at home. That'll do the trick. Plus, your house will smell like you've been baking bread, and that's part of the whole gig of sandwich artistry. But not the visor. Never the visor.

Gather up a few things from your fridge or from the market: the ready-to-bake loaves, an assortment of cream cheeses (including plain), an onion (red or yellow), assorted cold cuts and cheeses (more about that later), some good quality bacon, and butter. Of course... you know how Saucy feels about butter. Lurrve. Grab your mayo and salt and pepper grinders too.

Get that bread baking and start to fry up the bacon. Get the cream cheese out of the fridge and let it get a little warm for spreading.

While the bacon is frying, Saucy cuts the onion in the thinnest slices she can. This means peeling off the skin and slicing full slices that fall away from the onion in o's.

The brilliant part of this system is how many sandwiches you can crank out in a short period of time if you've got everything planned out and going on. Saucy pulls the bacon out of the pan and lets it drain on paper towel and then (not draining the bacon grease from the pan because men like bacon grease but they won't say it out loud) she throws the onion slices into the hot bacon pan. With butter. Don't tell your man's cardiologist you did that.

Remember in Julie & Julia when we learned not to crowd the mushrooms in the pan? Here's another trick like that, about onions: don't move them around the pan too much. You can crowd them alright, but don't get too busy pushing them around with a utensil. You need some serious contact with the heat to get the brown carmelization going.

Men love the smell and taste of cooking onions, dig? This is also part of the whole sandwich artistry thing. The crackling, popping smell of browning onions in a pan. Just gently shake the pan over the heat to move the onions. They'll start to get nice and golden soon.

When you decide it's time to turn them, get out two utensils - Saucy uses a fork in each hand - and gently toss them by lifting them to the other side of the pan. Like the guy at the falafel stand. He doesn't handle the onions roughly (if he's a good falafel guy)... he's pretty gentle.

Because when they're ready, they should look like this. Golden brown with dark caramel edges and pretty much intact for putting on the sandwiches. Perfect. Set them aside to cool.

Your "home baked" loaves are out of the oven and cooling by now. Your kitchen smells amazing. Better than a sandwich shop. And you're still not wearing a visor, see?

Get out your assorted cold cuts out and ready. Here, Saucy has: prosciutto, maple roasted ham, roasted turkey breast, roast beef and genoa salami. She also has the bacon ready on the paper towel.

Saucy gets her cheeses from the deli or the specialty cheese shop pre-sliced for sandwiching: mozzarella, swiss, monterey jack or cheddar, and provolone.

Start assembling. Let the combinations come to you... you'll know what's right. It's sandwiching, not rocket science. Start by spreading some cream cheese on the underside of vertically-sliced loaves. The cream cheese is the glue that holds this bad boy together. If you use flavoured cream cheese on one side, use plain on the other.

Here's a good combo starting: prosciutto and genoa salami. Saucy would keep this sandwich Italian and add some sliced provolone cheese.

Don't forget to give your sandwiches a good shake of salt and pepper before finishing. Some combos will scream for mayo. Some for bacon. Go with the flow.

Same for the carmelized onion... add as necessary. Usually at the very last. Here, on roast beef, roast turkey and a bit of prosciutto.

This one was for Sarge: the "Pepper Lover."

Lastly, wrap your assorted sandwiches in the fancy parchment from Dollarama and for today, because it's Masters Sunday, decorate each roll with some Masters green craft paper. If you like, do what Saucy did and make label bands on the computer by hijacking the Masters logo off the internets and write the individual sandwich ingredients on each one. That way, the guys can pick and choose their fillings.

This is some serious sandwich action. Men like a good, meaty sandwich. Sure, you'd like them to have lots of veggies but this is a man sandwich. Saucy calls a sandwich like this a "heart attack on sourdough" so only offer this to your man once a year, if he's nice.

If he's not, offer it twice.


Anonymous said...

Those look AMAZING! I won't even show this post to my husband it will give him ideas.

CuteStuffInside said...

Offer it twice - HA! You're too funny!


P.S. - I could really go for a sandwich right now.

koralee said...

This all looks so good and it is only 6:30am over here.
What a lovely blog you have. Just wanted to thank you so much for your caring comment you left on my blog concerning my daughers migraines...what a blessing you are to take the time. We see the Dr. today and I have lots of will be about thank you once again...hugs to you for a great new week. xoxoxo

Lisa Russell said...

Looks delish!

Vanessa Wolfram said...

Oh wow! Its 8:30 AM and I want one for breakfast!!!! They all look so yummy!

Anonymous said...

Then all you need to do is add some hot banana peppers, and your in heaven! They look so good, my mouth is watering!


Constance said...

That's a lot of sandwiches! Did the guys eat them all?

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Well played, Saucy. Well played.

Anonymous said...

OMG I can't believe you said that! You're so funny!


Pepper said...

Sarge said those were your best ones ever!!! He told me I would have to step it up and do something for next year's Man Shack party! Get thinkin' buddy, I am going to have to hire you to do it!

GinnyO said...

Yummy! These look so mouthwatering, I'm sitting here beside myself. Love the tip on the bread, I'm going to try that next time I make sandwiches!

Anonymous said...

Dear Sasha:

Thanks so much for the wonderful sandwiches

Another smashing success

The boys and I appreciate your effort and your sandwiches added to the overall Masters experience

I may have had one too many beer but that had nothing to do with the awesomeness of the sandwiches

Thanks again

Anonymous said...

That looks great! I love your recipes, though I wish you didn't use the processed foods like the fake bread and the processed cheese. This stuff is like feeding our families poison.

Saucy said...

I'm sure the "fake" bread isn't as good for us as a whole grain bread but as I said, it's a once a year event... I am sure that one loaf from time to time of pre-risen bread didn't hurt anyone.

And the cheese? The very best, real cheese, bought at the delicatessen: swiss, provolone, and mozzarella - it was superb quality.

Anonymous said...

If it's such "superb quality" then why was it pre-sliced?

Patty said...

Want. Sandwich. Now!

the treat girl said...

How honored you must feel...doing the sandwiches for the Masters again!!!! I'm SURE they were a big hit with the guys!!!!

Carmen said...

Ummmm YUM! These are amazing looking sandwiches.

sassy said...

you are a true artist! thsoe make me so hungry-it hurts to read esp sinc eI have not eaten since Sunday pm-I had horrible awful gum surgery today. All I can say is worse that child birth-bring on the T3's T4's and T72's!

Shannon said...

Really Anonymous.....I can't believe you're being critical about a sandwich that get's made once a year! You must find something else to do with your time.

Saucy, those look amazing. I will be making these on our next movie night, yum!

Kim said...

You had me at the first photo. MMMMMMMMmmmm....looks SO GOOD!

Anonymous said...

If all you do is read this blog and complain, why don't you read someone else's blog! Life is too short to complain about processed cheese, and "fake" bread, and how it's sliced.....good lord...... If a person can't enjoy what their eating, why bother!
But....I guess some people were born to complain.....


Anonymous said...

Hi! I was the first anonymous talking about the bread and cheese, but that was my only comment. Someone else made the rest. That being said, I really enjoy this blog and the recipes, but I think it's very important to stop feeding our kids poisoned processed food. I didn't mean to imply that it should only be whole grain, or that it shouldn't have calories...that stuff in moderation is a-ok with me. I'm talking about processed fake foods that are made with chemicals instead of actual ingredients. Why not use real cheese or buns from the baker instead of the chemical stuff. I wasn't trying to criticize, only to say that a great blog like this that is family minded should be very aware of what they're using for ingredients. You're IS short. This is the first generation is history that will die before their parents, and it's largely because of chemicals that most people don't pay any attention to. Should it really be that short?

Saucy said...

Oh I totally agree with you on that point, Anonymous. Life is short and we should eat as well as we can. Regular readers of this blog will know that I try to cook with the best ingredients available to me: I don't even use margarine in my house, just rarely.

I think my point with this pre-risen bread, and in fact the entire sandwich post: moderation is key. I usually buy from a baker and somedays I even bake myself... I truly do.

I was just trying to be as honest as possible with my readers: I don't bake ALL the time. On this day, I wanted to try the ready to bake bread. Having worked in a bakery for years, I am ever mindful of chemicals and additives and in fact, the bakery I purchased this bread from is quite like the one I used to work at... the bread is just... unfinished. Fully baked, in fact, but ready for browning.

Last year when I made sandwiches for the same event I used artisan bread from a local baker. It was nice, but this year I ran out of time to put in my order for the amount I would need *sigh* and if I'm being really honest, the idea of the red pepper in the dough intrigued me so much, I had to try it, just once!

But now, I feel like somehow I am justifying my choices and I really don't want to do that.

And as far as the cheese, I still maintain that a lovely piece of cheese from a cheese specialty store or a delicatessen can't be of much harm to a person. When I said pre-sliced, I meant, I had the girl at the counter cut it for me to save time... they do that at Whole Foods and all sorts of Co-ops and markets too.

I value your opinion and I'm really glad that you came back to visit and see the commentary. That's the sign of a good blog visitor - it's supposed to be a conversation, right?

Suffice it to say: all things (good and bad) in moderation. Same for soda, chips and caffeine.

But never Saucy-tinis! The are best served in multiples.