just ask saucy

Just this very morning Saucy was lamenting the fact that with cheerleading over for the season, she now has no one to offer unsolicited advice to. To be perfectly honest, she flirted with the notion of offering advice here on the blog on a myriad of topics, just for shits and giggles, as she says.

Why, she reasoned, what an entertaining blog post that would be. Perhaps her readers have found themselves in some unusual dilemmas for which she could offer them some sage wisdom and they could solve whatever ails them with some words from Saucy.

And as she put the finishing touches on a giant chocolate chip cookie that she baked up for the girls in Veto's office, she realized that she had possibly - in four years of blogging - come up with the stupidest idea for a post in the history of blogging.

Because who would want advice from a middle aged, over educated, under employed, frustrated pastry chef with a penchant for musical theatre who suffers from insomnia, watches entirely too much television and whose roots needed retouching two weeks ago?

Clearly this is not a person with an over abundance of life skills. Who on earth would want advice from Saucy?

Apparently, as she found out later, this was the topic of discussion elsewhere at almost the exact same moment.

Reader, do you remember Roxy, the Cheerio who found herself on the receiving end of Saucy's relationship advice one Pop Tart Tuesday? Well, in English class Roxy found herself in need of clarification regarding some sort of assignment or such thing. She turned to ask a girl near her who replied:


Roxy reported this insignificant incident to Saucy at the pep rally today with a little gleam in her eye... they shared a snicker about it, but it did get Saucy to thinking again.


Because if awards season in Hollywood has told us anything in the past four years, Saucy lurrves handing out fashion advice almost as much as she lurrves telling her peeps how to bake up a cupcake or handle a pastry bag.

It's a sickness. And if Saucy is really being reflective, she'll tell you. She likes to give advice. When it comes to giving advice, she has a big fat head and an over-inflated ego and she likes to tell you what's what.


You know it. Saucy gets emails from readers who apologize for interrupting her and ask, but please, how do you think I could go about this or that? Just last week, Angela asked Saucy how she might go about making the eyeballs on her son's Thomas the Tank Engine birthday cake move.

And Saucy didn't have the slightest idea, but she really dug that Angela thought to ask her and they had a detailed email pow wow and threw some ideas around before Angela ultimately took Saucy's basic advice on the matter which was, don't even worry about it. You'll make yourself crazy if you try to do it. It's a fabulous idea and the Cake Boss guy might have a crack at it someday but Saucy and Angela are two busy, fabulous women who have to know when enough is enough and the guests can just sit down with a fabulous Thomas cake and be damned glad to get it.

So you see? Saucy's advice, although not what Angela was asking for exactly, turned out to be correct and Angela's family and friends enjoyed one of her delicious creations yet again, with less stress on Angela.

Why, in the last week alone, Saucy has been asked by some of her peeps:

Do you have a good stuffed mushroom recipe?
What colour of shoe should I wear with this dress?
How would you make this cake for your Cheerios? I want to make something like it for my Cheerios.
What kind of skin care product should I get for my preteen son?
Is it okay to wear boots with a dress to a wedding?
Is it worth it to open an Etsy?
What kind of camera are you using for the Loopy photo shoots?
Should I paint one wall in my bedroom red?
Do you know a good attorney?


The Fan and Saucy were just saying to each other to remember the old adage: God always gives you an answer, but sometimes you don't like it.

Well, Saucy gives you advice and sometimes you don't want it. But you'll get it.


And so, Dear Reader, this is your chance. This weekend Saucy invites you to solicit her advice on just about anything. Regular readers of this blog might have some idea of the areas where Saucy flaunts her non-expertise. Did your recipe go wrong? Mother-in-law woes? Not sure how to get rid of your husband's hideous golf pants? Don't know who to pick in your baseball draft?

Is your pickle personal or professional? No matter. Fire away. If Saucy can't help you, perhaps a fellow peep will pop in and offer an opinion.

The comment box is now open... or if your quandry is more personal in nature you might want to fire Saucy an email to her dot com address in the sidebar or shoot her a message on Facebook. She might answer your question publicly but she'll spare the details and respect your privacy about those hairs you are concerned about.

In the meantime, Saucy's pre-planned post is still here, but simply punctuated in length. Today, she wants to quickly show you how to make a giant chocolate chip cookie-gram. She made two sweet ones for some secretaries she knows... you didn't forget Secretaries Day, didn't you?


Saucy prepares a springform pan by assembling it with a piece of silicone parchment in the ring. She just locks the ring with the paper in place. Sometimes, she trims the paper before she bakes the cookie but today she realized that was an unnecessary step so she went ahead and took her own advice: keep it simple. She threw an entire batch of Loopy's famous cookie dough into the parchment lined pan and into the oven it went.


You might have to bake it quite a bit longer... around twenty minutes. It will be golden on the outside but still soft and chewy inside. Take it out of the oven when it is smooth and almost appears flat.

After cooling - but before you remove the springform ring - you can cut or tear away the excess parchment paper. The paper that is under the cookie stays under the cookie. It keeps the box or serving plate from getting too greasy.

Simply use a pastry bag to pipe your message on the cooled cookie and present the good will to someone who deserves it. Saucy keeps a stack of white pizza boxes in her pantry for just this recipe.


One last word about the advice: it will be brutally honest. If Saucy doesn't know the answer, she will be straight with you. If you send her a picture and ask if you look fat in those pants, she'll tell you the truth. Now is not the time to wax over the truth.

Saucy isn't one to sugar-coat her advice. Just ask the Cheerios. It can be pretty frank because she saves the sugar-coating for cupcakes and whoopie pies.

You can thank her later. With one giant cookie.

39 comments:

Angela G. Willis said...

The Thomas cake was lovely!
You did a beautiful job on the cookie! I will be writing you yet, once again for "advice" and this time it will blow you away!

Miz Carla said...

Great idea!! Something is on my mind and you'd be the perfect person to ask, so here goes....

Dear Saucy Advice Diva

Recently I began selling some of my artsy creations at local events such as "junk trade days" and festivals. We do these events outdoors under our little canopy tents. I'd like to know what would make me as a vendor able to catch your eye and make a sale? What is Saucy thinking when she goes to these types of events?

MJ said...

Yikes. This one is loaded like a grenade. I daren't open the vessel of "what are my fashion faux-pas" because to rephrase your adage: "Saucy tells the truth and I don't want to hear it."

Hopefully, you didn't spy me with the Birkenstock sandals with the new Lululemon pink & purple socks today? (I had to buy the socks as my feet were freezing: has it snowed there yet?) Thank goodness yours in an academic town that's used to seeing unusual footwear combos!

Doreen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

How do you keep Loopy motivated to try things with her Aspergers' and all? How did you keep her from getting overwhelmed at cheerios and balancing school, cheer and from my archive reading, KUMON? I get overwhelmed with multiple tasks on my plate so I don't know how she does it.

I ask because my niece has it and she will be starting high school in the fall. I hope she can find an activity to take part in and be successful at. I watched the journey your team took with great interest.

Rhonda

bamemories said...

Oh, my god Saucy, this is so ironic. You need to check out what I just posted on my blog!

Saucy said...

BRILLIANT. I'm in. Just let me know when, but i get to say where!!! Miss Bossypants is in charge now.

Just call me "Stacy London"...

Anonymous said...

Can you do a tutorial on how to make the magazine covers you do? I would really like to learn that.

Just call me Peach ;-) said...

Uhm...I love this idea!

bamemories said...

Are you serious? Cause I'm so going to take you up on your offer. I have 2 days off a week and I have every weekend off in May. I always seem to have Tuesdays off..the 2nd day varies from week to week. Let me know what works for you...Oh this could be so much fun!

Shannon said...

Okay here is a Mother/Daughter question. Do I tell my 11 year old that the outfit she has picked out does not go together or do I let her walk out the door looking like that? What has been happening is that I have been "suggesting" she put something else on and she ignores me! My one friend thinks they need to be taught what looks good together but I'm thinking she'll figure it out on her own (I'm not much of a fashion diva myself!).

What do you think Saucy? Loopy has such great fashion sense, did you teach her or did she develop it herself?

Shannon

e.m. said...

I have been inspired by your adventure with the Cheerios. My daughters want to enter into the sport but with their small and various ages (3-8)the groups in our area have a way to complicated schedule for our family. However, their school does not have a cheer program and I was thinking about starting one. Was your Cheerio experience with a program that already existed or did you get involved from the ground up? What advice can you offer me as well as
resources to share do help me decide if this an endevour I'd like to begin. Thanks!

Dayle said...

Saucy,
I'm wearing this dress to my wedding in August:

http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WeddingParties/Wedding_Bride/gowns/PRDOVR~96230/96230.jsp

Should I wear my hair like this:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/photo.php?pid=2047606&id=81706518892

or this:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/photo.php?pid=2047801&id=81706518892&fbid=92160813892

Or just in soft down waves with a sort of hippyish across the forehead jeweled band? HELP!

The wedding is going to be a very fun and casual affair at Fort Edmonton. It's an evening wedding.

Anonymous said...

My question is this: we live in Saskatoon and my daughter goes to a school near to Loopy's. She and her friends are VERY interested in being cheerleaders. We even considered putting her in grade 9 across the river so she could do it. In the end the driving schedule was too crazy and she was crushed.

Now that the cheerios are at Bowman, we would like to know when the tryouts will be. I told her you would be picking a new team in May or June for next year. She and her friends would like to try out and if they make it they will transfer schools.

Will you put tryout info on the blog? How will it be advertised? Also, what kind of skills will you be looking for is there anything we can do to prepare? They have all three danced for years and one of the girls is an experienced gymnast.

Also, how many new cheerios will you be taking? Do all of the girls from this years' team get back on?

Thanks
Mom from HCHS

Jennifer said...

Did The Cheerios ever have spats or talk trash to each other and how did you handle it? Some of the things my daughter and her friends say to each other are just wretched. I know that you blogged about the good stuff but there must have been some girl drama too. So how did you handle it?

Karen of the KAGS said...

OK Sasha. I've got news for you! The very colourful Karen of the KAGS has a very drab house.
Want to help me spice it up before I make any big boo boos with paint colour?
I'm talking big reno's too. Not just a paint job. A new kitchen, flooring & windows are on the list for this summer too.
Just think how many blog posts you could get out of that!!!

Wiebe Family said...

how ironic that i asked you for some wisdom last week too! Can't wait for tuesday! See ya then :)

Anonymous said...

Okay, Saucy, how about giving this one a go. I have been married to a wonderful man from the Middle East for 20 years. We live in California and the members of his family are located in various locales including Detroit. It is important to the story to note that I am of Hispanic descent. My husband and I have known for many years that his brother and his wife refer to us as the Mexican and the engineer(By the way I am an engineer as well, but I guess that doesn't rate if you are a Mexican too.) Although my husband phones his brother a couple of times a year and the conversations are amicable, we have only visited together once and they have never even met our nearly 10 year old daughter.

The problem...Our 18 year old son will soon be attending a private liberal arts college in the Midwest. Since learning of this, his brother has put a lot of pressure on my husband to send our son to live with him and attend college at a local public university with his 19 year old daughter. We tactfully declined the offer, but are now faced with a situation which is more difficult to field. My husband's brother now would like for our son to visit him and his family on his school breaks or long weekends. He has even offered to pay for transportation. My husband doesn't see any harm in a visit, but just the thought makes me crazy. First, my son does not know these people. Second, they are bigots. Third, I really don't want my son to go because I secretly loathe these people.

Is it wrong for me to subversively influence my son so he will not want to see them? Or should I let him visit? Any thoughts?

Confused and Pissed Off in California

Saucy said...

Dear Miz Carla,

A little thought and creativity goes a long way towards making your booth or display stand out at a craft or junk fair. I am attracted to booths that look like they were decorated very cleverly and inexpensively, where if I go and browse, I'm thinking I might pick up an idea or two, even if I don't buy anything... and then I usually end up buying something. That's just how it works.

So, having said that. you should probably identify a colour that you can stick with for most of your display and I am thinking white here. Easy to find and easy to layer. Multiple shades of white always looks plush and classy. Vogue and shabby chic all at the same time. The pieces you are selling will "pop" if they are placed against a background of layered whites.

You can spray paint some dried branches white, gather up some ivory and white tulle (so cheap at Wal Mart) and get busy!

If you can, get under your canopy and try to hang something there, even if it is a non-operational light fixture. You can stick faux white flowers in the bulb sockets if need be, but get some action up high on your canopy... I would spot that business from a block away and beeline for your booth.

Oh, and you can never go wrong with twinkle lights.

Also, Dear Miz Carla, have you ever visited the blog of the Curious Sofa Diaries? Pour yourself a pot of coffee and stay up all night, your head will be spinning with all sorts of ideas.

I hope that helped!

Lurrve,
Saucy

Saucy said...

Daer Rhonda,

Thanks for asking about Loopy's Aspergers and how it relates to our daily life and busy schedule.

Truth is, she's a tough cookie to keep motivated. She sometimes would just rather shrink inside of herself and not engage in much activity at all. The only thing that has really worked for us is tons of routine, routine, routine. Even cheer practice and our drive home routine was pretty static. We even carpooled the same team members usually!

Oh, and one bit of advice about your niece starting high school: to prepare Loopy for the transition, we visited the school often during her last year of elementary school. Not just on the days we were "invited" because those events give kids a false sense of what a typical day might be like.

We did things like stop in at the school over lunch hour and just strolled through the cafeteria area and halls... you really see a normal day like that. If she was already out of school for an appointment, sometimes we slipped through the high school before I took her back to class. She could walk the hallways and if the bell rang she got jostled a bit in the commotion, so she knew what things would really be like when she got there.

For kids with Aspergers, change is hard, so the more things you can do to get them used to an idea the better. Even pointing out little things to her like "that bell sure is loud" or "what a funky smell from that boys gym" helped her transition. There was way less stuff for her to be confused about or surprised by when she got there for real.

I hope that helped!

Lurrve,
Saucy

Saucy said...

Dear Shannon,

I think fretting about how a daughter dresses is a pretty common concern. Whether you are a fashion diva yourself or not, you can help your daughter make some wise choices that you are also comfortable with.

Start by getting her some good magazines: Seventeen, Teen Vogue are a start. Avoid Jane and Glamour because the images in those, although geared to teens, are downright sleazy sometimes.

Spend some time sifting through the mags with her. Start a little folder (I did that with Loopy) and when you see a look one of you likes, rip it out and slip it in the folder. You can start keeping your eyes peeled around town for pieces that remind you of the looks and at the very least this exercise will start you - and your gal - really thinking about why she likes what she likes and if it is suitable and attainable.

Pick a date to go "fake shopping", it's like window shopping but you try things on. You can even take your camera. Try on the whole look if you can, right off the display or mannequin. When you get home, look at the pics on the computer and talk about what you liked and what didn't work. It's easier to notice things in a picture than a mirror... have you ever seen a picture of yourself and thought, "aaak! is that how I look in that?"

You might also remember that I take a picture of Loopy every day before she jets off to school. It's good scrapbooking and memory stuff but it also helps her visualize what she has looked like over time and what is working and not so much. (This has been especially helpful with regards to Aspergers)...

Lastly: she's going to make fashion mistakes, for sure. No getting around it. She will learn from them and if you're smart, you'll have your camera handy. What a great slide show for when she gets married that would be!

Your friend is right, they have to be "taught," but they don't want to hear it from mom. She will get info from magazines and you might find her some websites to look at or subscribe to. It sounds like she has an interest in fashion, so she might be a little more experimental than other kids. That's okay. Unless you're worried she'll become a fashion punching bag, it will sort itself out.

In the meantime, have a visit to The Sartorialist's Blog. It's just one single fashion shot every day, taken by a fashion blogger on the streets of NYC. The readers leave heaps of comments about what worked and did not work on each outfit - it's fascinating.

Hope that helped!

Lurrve,
Saucy

Lisa Russell said...

I would like some etsy advice. I have alot of things I would like to sell, but have not taken the plunge. I set up an etsy shop, but it is empty. I used to ebay quite a bit, but got burned out on that. I have two types of things: Vintage and current scrapbooking/paper/ephemera items and new bottlecap necklaces which I make (I sent Loopy one once). Is it worth it to open a shop and give it a go? Is it a good way to declutter scrapbooking supplies that I do not ever use anymore?

Another question -- need VERY GOOD decluttering advice! My junk is taking me over (I have an office, but no basement). HELP! What are the rules to REALLY declutter and get the stuff out? I am emotionally attached to too much of this stuff!

xoxo, Lisa

Anonymous said...

Hi Saucy,
I live in Florida. Ever since I first heard of that cupcake company in Los Angeles, I have wanted to start my own. I've finally gotten brave or stupid enough to jump in. But, have no idea where to start. How do I find suppliers, equipment, etc? My DH and a friend say start small, get a website going, friends, family etc, then as it grows open a store front. I know they are right, but I've found what I think is the perfect place and want to grab it. I've come up with a menu, regular, fancy, kids. Any advice?
CCM

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Oh I wish you lived nearby so you could re-style me. I'm a train wreck. But alas, I'll settle for advice on the perfect menu for a Sunday afternoon pool party--and on cool kid party favors!

oliver rain said...

My dear friend Saucy. I shudder to think what you would say if you saw what I wear outside the house some days. It's either scrubs or some combination of t-shirt, sweater, and yoga pants. I am a fashion disaster. But a likeable one.aine

SOINSPIRED said...

This is eerie. I was just telling my friend about you the other day and introduced her to your blog. Of course I went on and on about you. How sweet you are and how incredibly talented you are and skilled in EVERYTHING. I ended saying that you could always help me with ANYTHING that I needed help with. It's just too bad you don't live in Arizona!

Jenn said...

Dear Saucy,

I love that you are doing this :)

Here is my question...

What temperature do you think is appropriate to keep your house at, in our climate?

Sincerely,

Havenoidea

Erin said...

Saucy,

I love your buttercream recipe and have used it many, many times and with many different flavors. It always works out and tastes great. I was wondering how to make it into a chocolate buttercream?

Saucy said...

Dear e.m.,

Before you jump into starting a Cheerio program, I'll tell you how it went down for us...

Loopy wanted to try out for the program at her school so away she went. The first tryout night was a bit of a disaster, with some mean girl business and it looked to be a bit much with her physical disabilities and Aspergers and all.

I was in the school and mentioned the mean girl business to the Assistant Principal. He agreed that since so many girls came out, they'd not be able to take everyone into the existing program... was I interested in starting a JV (junior) team for those who didn't make the senior/competitive team?

Of course you know what the answer was and off we went. AP and Principal graciously found us a few dollars for uniforms but not much, as they'd invested into expensive custom unis for the senior group last year. I did an internet search and found in-stock uniforms in a package with poms included for under $50.00 per girl. The only catch was the company was in the US and they didn't ship to Canada, that's a whole other story but I managed to get them home.

So if you decide to start a program, you will need the full support of your school administration - without that you might find yourself overwhelmed and fighting mental health. We were extremely lucky to have administrators who value all sorts of activity and see the value in a program like cheerleading - it's great for kids who might not be hard core athletes and who also might not have been exposed to private dance lessons and such... it really brings a diverse group of kids together.

So yes, we sort of started from the ground up. There was no previous JV program and therefore, no expectations. I would say no matter what, you will need a trustworthy person to be an assistant. One of my former cheerleaders from another school volunteered to help me out and it was a lifesaver. We would not have been successful without her. As much as I fancy myself a regular Sue Sylvester, coaching cheer successfully is NEVER a one-coach show, no matter what level the kids are working at. In fact, the smaller the cheerio, the more coaching needed.

Make sure you have lots of parental support too. Keep the lines of communication open (we used Facebook and started a team blog) and make sure everyone is in the loop!

But more important than anything else, above all the actual cheering, you will want to evaluate how much time you can devote to building a sense of community and team. It doesn't take oodles of time per se, but lots of planning and thought and incorporation of activity into regular practices. I would also LURRVE to give you tips about that, you can be sure of it!

Starting and coaching a Cheerio team can be rewarding but it can be exhausting too! Know how much time you can devote before you jump in and then try to stick to it, otherwise you could end up doing it 24/7, it is almost inevitable. You might also have to give some forethought to how many years you would be willing to commit to such a thing. If you find it too draining after a year, it would be too much of a disappointment to the kids and the community if you decide to back off.

Good luck and keep me posted, I hope this helped!

Lurrve,
Saucy

Saucy said...

Dear Dayle,

Surprisingly, your quandry is one of the one that has Saucy puzzling and puzzling, and now her puzzler is sore.

Firstly, that dress is just FAB and perfect for the occasion, perfect for Fort Edmonton. Kudos to you and J. Crew (lurrve the Crew)...

Hair! Hmmm... both of the photo options you sent were great. You are not off the mark at all. Even with a great dress, I think most brides mess up and choose the wrong hairstyle. Worst thing ever: looking back at your wedding pics and seeing NOT YOU. Why wear some crazy hairdo you'd not normally wear?

But the nice thing about both of those updos you sent, they were each very casual, occasion appropriate, fit the dress and you wouldn't look back and cringe. Also, you don't want to look too "done" with that dress. The dress is just so swell and great, you want the dress and your face to be the focus, not the hair. The hair should just mix in with the rest.

While I'm partial to the casual wispy laid back updo, the one with the ribbon might look better in photographs from the front. Most pics will be taken from the front.

And the long hair with boho headband? Lurrve. But what are the bridesmaids and groomsmen wearing? This is what Saucy wants to know before she says "yay" or "nay" to the boho look....

Get back to me,
Saucy

Saucy said...

Dear Erin,

Chocolate buttercream is easy! Just add cocoa powder to the icing sugar (about 1/2 cup for that recipe) and you will need to add a tiny bit more fluid (cream or milk) when doing the final fluff whip.

Although it will taste good an chocolately, you might want to add a daub of brown Wilton food paste. If you like the pale brown (goes nicely with pink and baby blue) then just use as is.

Hope that helped!
Lurrve,
Saucy

CarleneD said...

Love this idea of giving feedback! Now I have two questions for you?

1) What type of camera do you use or what would recommend for someone looking to get into DSLR cameras?
2) Do you bake with a KitchenAid Stand Mixer? If so, was it worth all the money?

Thanks!! :)

Michelle said...

I have a question that as a mother of an older teen and one my dd's age you might be able to offer me a few words on(and a boy and girl perspective, yay!).

My issue is teen dating - there is this boy Brynn likes(she is 14, 15 in NOV). He is just a few months older. They "go out" with apparently means talking/texting and group mall outings. What are your rules on dating? What boundaries do you find it appropriate to set?

We already have the no alone thing and she's only allowed very limited computer time. I don't want to be insanely over protective - but I also want to be a smart parent. I would greatly appreciate your input.

jkddz said...

Maybe your the one I should ask on how to take my frumpy hair style and kick it up a notch... or two!

I have always had it long... then I cut it all off(At my wedding I had long hair...- half way down my back- just before gift opening the next morning.. I pulled my hairslylist sister-in-law aside and had it all cut off..a Faith Hill short style{think 1999}...
I even sported the Posh look in 1996....I also had a free make-over at Visions- they were going to be in a TV show "Hair Wars" and needed trial people.. HELLO it was FREE...they cut off my long hair and dyed it red!gotta say that may be the only time I was not impressed when I walked out.. but again it was FREE and within a month I was able to pull it back into a tiny ponytail

Lets face it I need a update =)

Saucy said...

Michelle,

I get asked questions quite a bit about teen dating - most often from Cheerio parents who seem concerned about the goings-on and really, it's easy to reassure them.

If you set clear boundaries, I believe if you start early by talking to your kids about relationships and intimacy - as soon as appropriate - you will stand a better chance of them adhering to your expectations.

It's very important for kids to know EXACTLY how you feel about these things. It's important to get over any embarrassment that you may have when discussing these issues with them.

Loopy has been told that she cannot date until she is well into Grade 10 (about one year from now). We would like her to be sixteen, and able to drive herself home from unsavoury situations.

We set the same rules for Buddy and he didn't really have a steady girlfriend until recently - now that he is 20 (his birthday today) - the rules are sort of not our business anymore but we really hope that our general expectations will carry over into his adult life: respect the person you are with at all times.

Loopy does text a bit with the boys and I know there has been "interest" but she knows the ground rules so the extent of her boy interaction to date has been at school and on text. I also monitor this stuff closely, by asking her in a friendly way what's going on and what's up... she doesn't seem to be too irritated by me (yet).

I agree wholeheartedly with the "no alone" thing, especially in high school. Also: no boy suitors up o the bedroom. The bedroom is just off limits, for obvious reasons, plus, how can a gal keep any sense of mystery about herself if her guy sees her lady stuff all over the place, her makeup, her undies if they are out... this one is best left alone.

I'm not a prude and I'm pretty realistic, but Loopy is aware of what we expect of her in this area. She fully agrees that dating before you're ready is silly and she sees some of her pals moving a little too quickly for their ages and she makes very astute observations about it to me.

For instance, she notices that one of her bud's boyfriends takes her for granted, walks five steps ahead, and goes through doors without holding them. I'm a feminist and all, but geez, whatever happened to manners? Can you just hang the door open for a few seconds?

Group mall outings and group movies will be acceptable - NEXT YEAR. Right now, I'm okay with lots of internet interaction (it's nice and distant and safe) but the rule here is that I have to be your friend on Facebook or you cannot use it. I never make comments on her wall, but I visit it regularly and see what's what.

The key, Michelle, is to find the balance between being a parent and a guide... and someday you will be good friends, but not now. That's not your job. Loopy and I have a friendship in spite of all my rules and expectations. It sounds to me like you're on the right track also.

Hope that helped!

Lurrve,
Saucy

Crista said...

Dear Saucy,

Since you have done such a good job of taking Loopy through the pre-teen years that my daughter is just entering I know you can offer me solid advice here...
Roxy (my daughter) is 11, and turning 12 this summer. She has been begging and pleading to let her have Facebook. And thus far I have held off. Recently her cheer team members tagged me (for her) in a picture and I noticed that she is the ONLY one on the team that does not have FB. Truthfully she is not the youngest on the team but she would be in the bottom 30% of the age bracket. Part of me wants to protect her from the creeps of the world and the DRAMA that ensues on Facebook... but I am starting to wonder if it is just part of growing up in this era? She has an email account and a cell phone so its not like she is completely devoid of technology and communication... so really dont see why she 'needs' it like she says she does. So Saucy - when did you let Loopy enter the crazy world of Facebook?

While we are at it I just thought of another question... when she isnt bugging me about FB she is asking to wear make up. Last year I took her to the Clinque counter and bought everything she needs to keep her skin clean and fresh. To me that is certainly step one. When is it time to make the leap to cosmetics? I dont wear much myself - a bit of bronzer, concealer (for those dreaded under eye circles UGH) and mascara... thats it! So I am not even sure what to tell her looks good or doesnt? Any suggestions for us?

thanks Saucy!

Vanessa said...

I am busy planning my daughters 8th birthday party at a local swimming facility, which will take place on a Saturday evening at the end of May. My questions are, what do I feed 30+ people that is relatively quick to prepare, inexpensive to make and easy to clean up? The party room only has a sink and tables so I must prepare the food at home. It must be likable by both children and adults, yet be rather quick to consume with little mess as I only have 45 minutes in the party room before we swim. I privately rented the pool for 1 hour and hope to get to enjoy it myself. I was thinking of making sandwiches & veggies but that seems a little boring. I'll also need time in the afternoon to bake and decorate cupcakes as she has requested them instead of a traditional cake. Any suggestions?

Saucy said...

Dear Crista,

Facebook is tricky to navigate but one thing that you need to keep in mind: keeping your son or daughter off Facebook as long as you can is fine, but eventually you'll have to relent and let Roxy take part. Because really, it seems to be their only method of outside-school communication. Even though the Cheerios all carry cell phones (almost) they still all use Facebook and I realized early on in the season that it was the only effective way of reaching everyone in a timely fashion with information. I even went to the trouble of setting up an official team website but could they be bothered to check it? No, they check FB, 1000 times a day.

We let Loopy join a little early than we should have, but just because the Jo Bros were using the platform for their live chats and after much discussion we wouldn't want her to miss out.

So, we allowed her on, with major ground rules:

1. Off when we say so.
2. You must use the same password as me, or I must know your password if you change it. I must have total access to your account at all times until you are 16.
3. Mom approves uploaded photos.
4. Mom and/or dad MUST be a friend on FB. We can "creep" your page to see what is going on. We won't embarrass you by making comments, but we can see it all the time and your status goes into our feed that way.
5. No bullying, of course.
6. Status updates must not be "secret messages" to others, meaning if you have something to say to someone, say it but don't drop hints on FB to get all your peeps worked up.

So far, it's worked for us. We are trying to teach Loopy that FB is a platform, ergo a TOOL to communicate but not her only method of communication. We also frown upon too many abbreviations and purposefully misspelled words.

Remind Roxy that everyone has access to your photos, no matter how you set your privacy settings. Friends of friends can see pics of Roxy if she is tagged in a non-friends album.

Also remind her that people will post and SAVE unflattering photos of each other and sometimes keep them for years... just in case. Everything on FB is PERMANENT even though you can "delete" it from your feed.

I hope that helped.

About the makeup, you will know when Roxy is ready. I applied Loopy's makeup myself for the first couple of years she was allowed to wear it. In grade seven we started with cover stick and mascara, applied by me. In grade 8 everyone was wearing makeup and so was Loopy, but I was still helping her every day. She isn't allowed to take makeup to school and add to it or share it.

Now that she's in high school, she puts it on by herself (she's very good at it). She spent hours practicing with my makeup and the stuff I gradually bought for her.

I would suggest starting with Bare Minerals powder foundation. It is natural and light, easy to apply and good for skin. It has a complete line of product that works very well for Loopy. She is so fair it is hard to find a match.

A good bronzer and some fun lipgloss will certainly be enough to start.

After you have the basics, you can add the fun, goofy stuff into the mix if she wants. If you aren't really into makeup yourself, take her to a counter or Sephora for advice and you can practice together! There are also lots of tutorials on YouTube that Loopy watched on how to apply eye makeup and they were awesome. Some of them were just young girls themselves, doing their makeup for the webcam :)

I hope that helped,
Lurrve,
Saucy

J.G. said...

What a great idea! I have many questions for Saucy's expertise, but let's start with the most pressing one.

What's the best dish to bring to a potluck? I always bring what I think is my most delicious and appropriate recipe, but I never seems to knock anyone's socks off. Just once I'd like someone to ask for the recipe.