Just this very morning Saucy was lamenting the fact that with cheerleading over for the season, she now has no one to offer unsolicited advice to. To be perfectly honest, she flirted with the notion of offering advice here on the blog on a myriad of topics, just for shits and giggles, as she says.
Why, she reasoned, what an entertaining blog post that would be. Perhaps her readers have found themselves in some unusual dilemmas for which she could offer them some sage wisdom and they could solve whatever ails them with some words from Saucy.
And as she put the finishing touches on a giant chocolate chip cookie that she baked up for the girls in Veto's office, she realized that she had possibly - in four years of blogging - come up with the stupidest idea for a post in the history of blogging.
Because who would want advice from a middle aged, over educated, under employed, frustrated pastry chef with a penchant for musical theatre who suffers from insomnia, watches entirely too much television and whose roots needed retouching two weeks ago?
Clearly this is not a person with an over abundance of life skills. Who on earth would want advice from Saucy?
Apparently, as she found out later, this was the topic of discussion elsewhere at almost the exact same moment.
Reader, do you remember Roxy, the Cheerio who found herself on the receiving end of Saucy's relationship advice one Pop Tart Tuesday? Well, in English class Roxy found herself in need of clarification regarding some sort of assignment or such thing. She turned to ask a girl near her who replied:
Roxy reported this insignificant incident to Saucy at the pep rally today with a little gleam in her eye... they shared a snicker about it, but it did get Saucy to thinking again.
Because if awards season in Hollywood has told us anything in the past four years, Saucy lurrves handing out fashion advice almost as much as she lurrves telling her peeps how to bake up a cupcake or handle a pastry bag.
It's a sickness. And if Saucy is really being reflective, she'll tell you. She likes to give advice. When it comes to giving advice, she has a big fat head and an over-inflated ego and she likes to tell you what's what.
You know it. Saucy gets emails from readers who apologize for interrupting her and ask, but please, how do you think I could go about this or that? Just last week, Angela asked Saucy how she might go about making the eyeballs on her son's Thomas the Tank Engine birthday cake move.
And Saucy didn't have the slightest idea, but she really dug that Angela thought to ask her and they had a detailed email pow wow and threw some ideas around before Angela ultimately took Saucy's basic advice on the matter which was, don't even worry about it. You'll make yourself crazy if you try to do it. It's a fabulous idea and the Cake Boss guy might have a crack at it someday but Saucy and Angela are two busy, fabulous women who have to know when enough is enough and the guests can just sit down with a fabulous Thomas cake and be damned glad to get it.
So you see? Saucy's advice, although not what Angela was asking for exactly, turned out to be correct and Angela's family and friends enjoyed one of her delicious creations yet again, with less stress on Angela.
Why, in the last week alone, Saucy has been asked by some of her peeps:
Do you have a good stuffed mushroom recipe?
What colour of shoe should I wear with this dress?
How would you make this cake for your Cheerios? I want to make something like it for my Cheerios.
What kind of skin care product should I get for my preteen son?
Is it okay to wear boots with a dress to a wedding?
Is it worth it to open an Etsy?
What kind of camera are you using for the Loopy photo shoots?
Should I paint one wall in my bedroom red?
Do you know a good attorney?
The Fan and Saucy were just saying to each other to remember the old adage: God always gives you an answer, but sometimes you don't like it.
Well, Saucy gives you advice and sometimes you don't want it. But you'll get it.
And so, Dear Reader, this is your chance. This weekend Saucy invites you to solicit her advice on just about anything. Regular readers of this blog might have some idea of the areas where Saucy flaunts her non-expertise. Did your recipe go wrong? Mother-in-law woes? Not sure how to get rid of your husband's hideous golf pants? Don't know who to pick in your baseball draft?
Is your pickle personal or professional? No matter. Fire away. If Saucy can't help you, perhaps a fellow peep will pop in and offer an opinion.
The comment box is now open... or if your quandry is more personal in nature you might want to fire Saucy an email to her dot com address in the sidebar or shoot her a message on Facebook. She might answer your question publicly but she'll spare the details and respect your privacy about those hairs you are concerned about.
In the meantime, Saucy's pre-planned post is still here, but simply punctuated in length. Today, she wants to quickly show you how to make a giant chocolate chip cookie-gram. She made two sweet ones for some secretaries she knows... you didn't forget Secretaries Day, didn't you?
Saucy prepares a springform pan by assembling it with a piece of silicone parchment in the ring. She just locks the ring with the paper in place. Sometimes, she trims the paper before she bakes the cookie but today she realized that was an unnecessary step so she went ahead and took her own advice: keep it simple. She threw an entire batch of Loopy's famous cookie dough into the parchment lined pan and into the oven it went.
You might have to bake it quite a bit longer... around twenty minutes. It will be golden on the outside but still soft and chewy inside. Take it out of the oven when it is smooth and almost appears flat.
After cooling - but before you remove the springform ring - you can cut or tear away the excess parchment paper. The paper that is under the cookie stays under the cookie. It keeps the box or serving plate from getting too greasy.
Simply use a pastry bag to pipe your message on the cooled cookie and present the good will to someone who deserves it. Saucy keeps a stack of white pizza boxes in her pantry for just this recipe.
One last word about the advice: it will be brutally honest. If Saucy doesn't know the answer, she will be straight with you. If you send her a picture and ask if you look fat in those pants, she'll tell you the truth. Now is not the time to wax over the truth.
Saucy isn't one to sugar-coat her advice. Just ask the Cheerios. It can be pretty frank because she saves the sugar-coating for cupcakes and whoopie pies.
You can thank her later. With one giant cookie.