Recently, Saucy found this message in her comments:
Great googlimoogli... Saucy felt that there was nothing left to do but mix herself a light and breezy cocktail of premium brand-name vodka and pomegranate extracts (for the antioxidants) to wash down her anti-depressants and sleep medications. Upon further consideration and the consumption of two more flirtinis, Saucy penned her anonymous blog flamer the following letter:Dear Elisabeth Hasslebeck (if that is indeed who you are):
Is that you? Are you back under your anonymous moniker to flame my blog yet again in the name of post-feminist Republicanism?
How I have missed you, my Anonymous Blog Flamer. You add spice and verve to my otherwise... what was the word...bourgeoisie life that I share with my loving husband and extended family. Let's not forget my charming children who must be rotting under the shell of this stinking corpse of mine!
Dear Anonymous Blog Flamer, if you are indeed Elisabeth Hasslebeck as I believe you are, then do yourself a favour and return to the confines of the studios of The View and hide behind the hulking imbecile Bill Geddy, Whoopi Goldberg's dreadlocks, Sherri Sheppard's brassiere (which should have won best-supporting-something on Sunday) and the skeleton formerly known as Barbara Walters! Until then, let yourself be known by name!
How I have missed you, my Anonymous Blog Flamer. You add spice and verve to my otherwise... what was the word...bourgeoisie life that I share with my loving husband and extended family. Let's not forget my charming children who must be rotting under the shell of this stinking corpse of mine!
Dear Anonymous Blog Flamer, if you are indeed Elisabeth Hasslebeck as I believe you are, then do yourself a favour and return to the confines of the studios of The View and hide behind the hulking imbecile Bill Geddy, Whoopi Goldberg's dreadlocks, Sherri Sheppard's brassiere (which should have won best-supporting-something on Sunday) and the skeleton formerly known as Barbara Walters! Until then, let yourself be known by name!
And if you are not Elisabeth Hasslebeck, Anonymous Blog Flamer, then rest assured that in calling you out by invoking the name of my nemesis, you mean nothing more to me than she does. I simply refuse to take your commentary seriously without your true identity attached. In other words, nut up or shut up.
I can only imagine that perhaps as you cruise the world wide web in search of those to belittle, you felt compelled to make the above comment as a result of your own insecurity and lack of self-esteem (and perhaps even jealousy that my government provides me free health care and low-cost mood-altering pharmaceuticals which render your statements nothing more to me than entertainment rather than the blow to my self-image that you intended).
But I digress. I will simply assume, as I did with a previous archenemy years ago, that even though you appear to have some mastery of the English language, you are more than likely some toothless hack surrounded by a multitude of mangey felines, sitting alone and prowling blogs for the opportunity to showcase your vocabulary skills which no doubt you obtained reading copious amounts of Danielle Steele novels in your adolescence. Prior to that, you were weaned from your mother's gargantuan tit with a diet of Fresca and corn chips. How unfortunate for you. I picture you, in front of your rent-to-own laptop, split ends and all, passing judgement on my home and family. Good for you! I applaud your productive use of time.
To demonstrate my largesse I would like to propose a truce. In fact, I would like to partner with you in the development and marketing of your own personal fragrance: an earthy blend of pet urine, human dander, overactive sweat glands featuring musky undertones of resentment and feelings of inadequacy... top notes of bergamot and cat litter. If this sounds enticing, contact me immediately and I will introduce you to the makers of Paris Hilton's signature scent, which is almost identical but also reeks of self-importance.
You may find my aesthetic disdainful but I find your anonymity distasteful.
Luurve,
Saucy
You may find my aesthetic disdainful but I find your anonymity distasteful.
Luurve,
Saucy
P.S. Kiss My Tiara!
52 comments:
braVO, Miss Saucytini. braVO.
{Elisabeth 'Anonymous' Hasselbeck, YOU have been SERVED}
Sorry you have to deal with this. You have a wonderful life, full of love and support. I don't know who would say these things, except someone who must be jealous and someone who may be "canadian" because I don't know what "bourgeouise" is! ;-)
Lurrve, Saucy Lisa in the US
Speaking fron Canada , I can vouch no Canadian would be so tacky to be anonymous.. Ignore this sad comment.
I think your assessment of "anonymous" personality is spot on. This must be an insecure, angry and very jealous person to pen such venom. I can't help but feel just a tiny bit sorry for people who are that small and miserable to do such as this. Maybe they are realted to Vintage Kitten's nasty stalker.
Way to go!
S.W.A.K.
you are awesome and hilarious!!
Wow, that is one sad individual with lots of time on their hands. Good for you for giving it right back!!
Shannon
(I can't stand Elisabeth Hasselback either LOL!!)
Well said and certainly deserved!!
The rest of us love you as you are!
"You know who" around here has been dropping hints about you and your cupcakes, I guess I better kick it into Mommy gear and make her some before she packs up and makes a trip over! hahaha
Well said.... Now pass me a flirtini too :P or at least the how to notes
LOL, loved that first paragraph!
LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
Sorry Anon/EH, my $$$ on Saucy to win.
Good grief! Someone actually left that comment on your blog? I really do not understand such vitriol from someone who could simply have just clicked away if they don't care for what you share on your blog. And using "Anonymous" as their pen name is the an act of cowardice.
I applaud the way you've handled it. Having personally met you, I can honestly say you're a wonderful person with a rich, full and happy life.
I do adore a little light banter at any rate. I pity the fool who leaves anonymous comments.
It's definitely Hasselbeck.
SNAP! love it. xo
Brilliant. As a person who had never had an enemy, I've had to learn to deal with "hit and runs" on my blog before although I'm afraid I didn't do nearly as good of a job as you did!
Ok saucy, I just about peed with a fit of laughter. First, because had I not even known you for the last 15 years, I would have read that blog post with admiration for a well thought out response to something that is ignorant and obviously she has not spent a minute on your blog. Or is she has, she apparently cannot read. I look forward to your well thought out witt, your blog is inviting, stimulating and always a source of laughter. I beg that this unintelligent person responds with more of her intellect. I personally have seen the struggles you have encountered trying to be a fabulous mom when presented with challenges, ones that most people would have given up on, and you thrived and went above the call. kuddos to you my friend. bring on Elisabeth, she doesn't know what hit her.
Such unnecessary meanness from someone too cowardly to leave their name! I read the comment Elisabeth left at the end of the Oscar post. Just plain rude and hurtful. I'm sorry you have such an unkind blog stalker. Makes me want to make my blog private.
I think anonymous was just expressing her opinion (albeit in a rude manner). l I have read your blog for years and over the past 6 months or so it has lacked the time and effort you used to lovingly put into it. I do so admire the bloggers that responsibly put up material on a regular basis like you used to do, as THAT is the actual point of a blog.
@Nancy "responsibly" are you saying it's Saucy's RESPONSIBILITY to post on her blog?? Are you kidding? This blog has been a place we've come to get laughter, friendship, recipes, sweet little tidbits of information and guidance for YEARS!! And for FREE!! We have not paid one dime for her content!! She has no RESPONSIBILITY to us whatsoever! In fact, we owe her! We owe her the patience and support she has EARNED while she struggles through some very difficult health issues AND still manages to live up to all the various committments she has in her life (and there are many)...did you see her Oscars post pretty GD spectacular, AND posted THAT night!! So miss Nancy, if you feel Saucy's blog no longer lives up to your high standard, I will personally write you a refund check & you can be on your way!
you ROCK!
Anonymity is a horrid and cheap thing.
Wow, Nancy S., you are so full of yourself! Indeed Saucy doesn't owe US anything. A blog is like an online diary. At no point did she make any commitment to you or anyone else about blogging every day, or on subjects of interest to you. If you no longer find her blog relevant, then just leave. More room for the rest of us!
As far as the first anonymous comment goes, I would like to point out that the pompous douchebag needs a refresher in grammar, and maybe an actual knowledge of French beyond the few words that she/he read in a old copy of Elle Magazine. "Bourgeoisie" is a NOUN, not an adjective. "Bourgeois" is the adjective. Your sentence was grammatically incorrect, which was delicious because you were so condescending and pretentious, hmmm a tad "bourgeois" actually, or "bourgeoise", (I'm not sure which to use since we don't know if you're a man or woman but I feel safe in guessing that you are a catty woman in real life.)
Oops, quel faux pas! Get that one? Nope, I think not.
Saucy, please go on posting as much or as little as you damn well please. Post about the Cheerios (which I skip because I don't like cheerleading myself) or your fabulous family, or your serious health problems (which you think Nancy S. should have remembered since she's read this blog "for years!") or anything that crosses your mind. It's your space and no one else's. I enjoy your blog very much.
Signed "Snoopy", a.k.a. Nathalie from Florida, an actual French native speaker.
Err... I meant an actual native French speaker. There.
Saucy, this is very entertaining and right on point as usual!!! YOU ROCK!!!
Oh you go girl......love it! I have never liked her on the view...actually I don't like anyone on the View, all they do is talk over each other......frickin annoying...
Jennifer Fast
I give your blog a solid A+++, it is my go-to spot for recipes, crafts I dream of making, opinions on movies, and fun photography. I appreciate each and every blogger out there who shares a little bit of themselves and throws IT out there into the universe to be loved and sometimes loathed. (I personally just click away from a blog if it doesn't jive w/ whatever I am into at the moment ~ sheesh, it isn't that hard) Thank you ~ I take a peek almost every day with my cuppa joe. :0)
Kimi from Oregon
In response to Nancy S., who said:
"I think anonymous was just expressing her opinion (albeit in a rude manner). l I have read your blog for years and over the past 6 months or so it has lacked the time and effort you used to lovingly put into it. I do so admire the bloggers that responsibly put up material on a regular basis like you used to do, as THAT is the actual point of a blog."
I have taken a few moments to reflect on your comment, which is appreciated even though we do not all feel the same way; all comments are appreciated if a name has been put to them. I applaud the fact that you signed your name to your opinion.
Yes, the anonymous comment was very rude. It was left on a very old post so I can only assume the person was directed to this blog via another source and is not a regular reader.
Indeed, with all of the obligations in my life of late, and my health struggles (winter being especially daunting for me) I have been so looking forward to the spring and summer months when I can get about to creating again. Alas, until the Cheerios season wraps up on March 27th at Provincials (ie. State) championships I am afraid that the blogging might be sporadic at best. Practicing almost every single day has dramatically impacted my time to create and blog.
Previously, I made every effort to blog every single weeknight and Sunday evenings, in order for my readers to have something to check in the mornings. Such is the commitment of a faithful blogger with dreams of a published cookbook, links on famous websites and magazine mentions.
At some point one must ask themselves, for what reason do I blog? I started my blog simply as an online journal to record my baking, crafts and simple adventures in life. I have enjoyed writing and creating it very much. It has brought me the simple pleasure of meeting like minded women (and men) and has increased the adventure factor in my life tenfold. I have participated in swaps, met bloggers in person on my travels and online (now considered dear friends) and recorded it all... simply for myself, I suppose.
I admit that sometimes, on a bad day, I scroll through my own archives and feel the same happiness and satisfaction as if I spent time perusing my scrapbooks. Sadly, my scrapbooks have also been neglected lately. Hobbies are always the last thing to be addressed on the "to do" list.
The reality of our daily life - every one of us - as we deal with children, activities, community, homemaking, and most people holding down jobs as well or caring for aging parents - there are times when every one of us must take a step back, breathe deeply and re-evaluate what is important to them.
Dear readers, and Nancy S. too, if you wish to remain a reader (and I sincerely hope that you do), I will continue to strive to produce the lively blog that you congregate to enjoy but it will have to be in accordance to my outside obligations, my family and my health.
But remember, Nancy S.; it might also be considered the responsibility of a regular blog reader to make regular comments. It's like a free magazine subscription... the comment is in lieu of paying a fee.
As the warmer months approach and cheerleading ends, the PTA winds down and I get Loopy through her first year of high school smoothly, you can rest assured that I look forward to some enthusiastic blogging that I hope you will all enjoy.
Lurrve,
Saucy
Again, Brava! You are so much more tactful than I...although I imagine an evening spent on your couch (or mine) with a couple of flirtinis to our names would yield a much less PC tone to a response! ;0)
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Tell it like it is sisters! Saucy girl you ROCK IT!
Nancy S...well, can I politely say you need to give your head a shake. Do you blog? Do you have any idea how long a post like Saucy's FAB Oscars rundown takes to do? It is an amazing amount of work and then on top of it all Saucy pulls it off with wit and flair. I don't know what your definition of "care and attention" is but me thinks you need to drop on by to dictionary.com
And for the flamer herself {because I am POSITIVE only a nasty woman can spew that kind of venom} if you are that wildly jealous of Saucy's life maybe you should put down the slurpee cup, turn off the Madonna song {because we all know that's the only place you could have come up with a large word like bourgeoisie} and...oh, I don't know...DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT? Have a shower, get a trim, hug a kid and bake a freakin' cupcake for pete sake. Your life will be better for it. Cause just to let you know...Saucy is not alone in her cupcake baking, house decorating, costume making, jewellery concocting, kid supporting, husband loving ways. She has a whole army of Marthas just waiting to hand it to you. And that is the only time I will ever lower myself to such silly 7-11 parking lot comments. Get a life. Cause our Saucy has a great one.
:( Yes, the post-Oscar post takes me hours. Sadly, poor Veto went to the movies that night by himself (the irony) and left me to the laptop to gather photos from mixed sources, take notes when designers names were mentioned, and stay up to put it all together! But I lurrve it! Once a year!
To me a blog is whatever you want to do with it.....i honestly don't think there is a right or wrong way to do it....Saucy....your blog is awesome....it's the first thing I look at when I get to my computer in the morning, and throughout the day I check it too....and then Leica's of course....I often wonder and wish that I could accomplish the things that you ladies do....amazing....wish i was that ambitious...
Pat yourselves on the back for having great blogs...
jennifer Fast
The poor Bergamont...what did it ever do to you? LOL!
I love you, sista. Always remember that most people are just full of hot air...
Keep doing what you do, 'cause you do it so well.
Love-
Angela
Saucy, you rock! Just keep doing what your doing, when you can. Your faithful followers love you and your creative adventures, and are honored that you share them with us!
Hugs,
Jill
OK, really, who writes a comment like that? Bourgeoisie, WTF? It never ceases to amaze me how rude some people are.
Oh....can't breathe....laughing too hard.....you rock.....I need your expertise.....customers are abusing me.....teach me how to write a letter like that :)
Why do you feel the need to respond? I love your blog, look for it every day, feel inspired by it and by you. But, I feel that you have sunk to the other anonymous commenters level in your response. It seems oh so like high school.
I have read all the comments and it is clear that the overwhelming majority of your readers are thrilled with your blog - enough said. Keep up the good work - we love all your contributions.
Saucy, I love that you like to have the last word. I love that you are willing to stand up and speak that last word, like all of us most likely only dream of doing.
Thank YOU for all that your blog was, has become and will be.
The End.
Saucy darling, LURRRVE you! I love the responses, they excite me. I can only suspect that Nancy dear isn't quite a loyal blog reader, as then she would know that your life is full of so many responsibilities and health drama that really there is more to life. I know that blogging daily requires time to be taken away from your life, hello, what do we blog for? ourselves! to share with friends! And truthfully I find that when you change up your blog style, and then throw in a nice spicy one, it keeps us always on our toes. I love change, surprises. So I look forward to the days where you have a Saucy vent, or maybe a cooking tutorial. I'm here for the rollercoaster of what I might read.
Oh, I adored high school. Why do you think I still hang around that place these many years later teaching there and coaching the Cheerios? This kind of exchange is quite like high school, indeed.
Why just today, I told them: if you leave a comment on the internet, don't be anonymous. It is classless. We Bowman girls are better than that. If you don't have anything nice to say, say it but own it.
Wow, Saucy, I can't believe people get this crazy.... I am shocked that someone would purposely be mean and hateful and write such utter garbage. Good grief they have way too much time on their hands and obviously no life or self respect...... I just came to see what you and the kid were doing with the cheerleading thing and how many cupcake places you hit when you were in cowtown, and I read all this....
I am so shocked, don't give them the satisfaction of any response, I would say it is a jealous female who can't stand the fact that you are beautiful witty and funny and charming and have a great family....
I love your blog and we all have busy lives, there aren't any blog laws out there to say when and how to post, is there.....
I agree with Rosemary, we Canadians wouldn't write that....sad!!!!
Hugs,
Margaret B
Okay, I'm going to make some of those whoopie pies - but in mini size (I'll be sure to add the cream cheese). We have a 9 year old birthday coming up and they will be adorable with all the other mini desserts we are preparing.
S.W.A.K.
P.S. - I am frugal, but only by necessity.
woop woop! this is awesome! some people are downright RUDE!
I almost spit out my morning smoothie. This is funny but I guess I missed something about Elisabeth H or I guess you just don't care for her. I love your blog and you are so cute.
Oh Saucy,
Lurve, lurve lurve your response. It's like the Outwit part of Survivor and you now have the immunity necklace (or whatever it is they hand out). I've never actually watched, but Elizabeth might be able to explain it better if she could take some time off from her shrieking duties on The View.
As for Nancy, well I've only been reading this blog for the last six months, and if this is your "less than before" stage, then I cannot imagine the delirious joy I would get from reading those earlier posts. For a woman who loves language and especially those delicious turns of phrase which you can almost taste as they roll off your tongue, your blog is like an oasis of brilliance in a sea of mundane and, at times, barely legible blah-ggers.
Kate cracked me up with her spidey-sense tingling about a woman having perpetrated the initial comment. Personally, I pictured a sweaty, swarthy fat man (or perhaps a boy barely on the brink of a manhood he should never be allowed to reach) in a stained undershirt sitting on a creaky metal chair (the kind you only ever see in prison - not me personally, but on, say, Law and Order episodes) in a room with only the dirtiest of windows and a noisy ceiling fan overhead. Oh, did I mention the dead fly carcasses littering his environment?
Thank you for the care you put into this blog. I toy with the idea of starting my own blog, but cower in the face of perfection such as yours. Maybe someday, but in the meantime, I immerse myself in the vicarious delight which is your life.
And if you are living la vie bourgeoise? Then Vive la Bourgeoisie!
I have only recently started reading your blog through facebook. I have had the pleasure of working with you when I was in highschool. (not going to say how long ago that was) It is amazing! You are so funny, smart, and creative. I can only hope that one day I will be able to bake like you do. Where do you come up with this stuff????
Keep up the good work I sure appreciate it.
Your famville friend,
Jennifer Forrester
Red deer, AB.
Anonymity is cowardly. Thanks for the humor....and that flirtini recipe?
We have a job for you in the states, FBI profiler!!! It is quite amazing how well you pegged Ms. Hasslebeck's evil twin.
I am also quite shocked by the grumblings of Ms. Nancy. I find Saucy's blog to be nothing short of spectacular.
I think you could add a dash of asshole to that scent and really be onto something. You could call it Troll.
Hold up, you haven't happened to mention the word God over at Pioneer Woman have you? Just checking.
Sheesh, I leave town for a bit and all hell breaks loose. Keep up the great blog Saucy. I am always happy to check and see what you have posted, whenever it gets there!
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