With regards to your letter dated June 12, 2009: Thank you for sending an impersonal form letter in response to my complaint about the horrible performance of Cascade with Dawn Grease-Fighting Action.
I especially enjoyed the part where you said, "hearing from you and other consumers helps us toward our goal of delivering top quality products and services worldwide," as you so artfully sidestepped the issue of your product destroying the interior finish of my new dishwasher with a skill set that would make any husband jealous - should his wife ask him the unfortunate question "does this make me look fat," to which, of course, there is only one truthful and undeniable answer. Bravo!
I am still in possession of the coupon that you attached, good for one Cascade product, any size. For weeks now I have mulled over the question in my little blonde head, what size could possibly be miniscule enough to ensure no further damage to a major appliance? The answer is of course, nil.
I contemplated returning the coupon to you, enclosed in a carefully worded letter outlining my concerns, but alas, I had already sent you a carefully worded letter outlining my concerns, and since redundancy is my sworn enemy, I decided it best to address the situation here today. My good friend Pepper can attest to the fact that I do so enjoy crafting a complaint letter. Why, it might just be said I have a bit of a knack for it!
As we near the expiration date of said coupon, I am at a loss as to how to proceed. Clearly you choose not to engage in the easygoing, chatty discourse we previously enjoyed. The fact that your most recent letter to me was not signed by a person but rather imprinted by laser ink indicates that perhaps you do not understand the gravitas (a word you do not understand) of the situation. Did you not peruse the plentiful comments left by readers on my first post to you, many of which indicated that why, yes indeedy, Cascade with Dawn Grease-Fighting Action must be at the root of this groundswell of dishwasher inhumanity?
But I digress. Back to the coupon. For an instant, I considered offering it up here on the blog as some sort of sacrifice to the cleaning gods. A symbol, if you will, of goodwill and a testament to my suffering. I realized that if chose to share the coupon with one of my readers, I would perhaps be inflicting the same outcome upon them, and in unleashing the Cascade with Dawn Grease-Fighting Action, would such heinous damage to their dishwasher occur I would be mortified and perhaps, in some roundabout way, feel responsible (another word you do not understand).
Thus, I have decided to simply offer my readers this piece of advice: use Electrasol tabs instead. It took multiple cycles over a period of weeks to eventually reduce the discolouration left by your product, but the Electrasol did the trick. Thank you to all of the readers who suggested it. Even the clouding and etching that was beginning to appear on my drinking glasses appears to be lessening!
Lastly, I would like to suggest to you that if, in the future, someone complains about the quality of your dishwasher detergent (and it is quite likely they will) you might not imply in writing that that someone is somehow incapable of operating a dishwasher properly or possibly that that person has really, really dirty dishes and no detergent could get it clean. Especially do not use this as your argument after claiming in a previous letter "these things just happen sometimes and we haven't figured out why."
It might possibly be that that someone could presume you have some sort of credibility problem. That someone might blog about it, thus negating all of the advertising that you have done for say, the last week. Let's just say, for argument's sake, just the last week.
Yeah, just the last week. Let's just leave it at that.
No lurrve lost,
With that, Saucy feels like a regular informant! Not only did the family attend an Islanders/Flames game this weekend, they saw Matt Damon in The Informant! Matt Damon is so very likable but it occurred to Saucy that Matt Damon always appears as Matt Damon, just sometimes he wears a fake mustache. The story is interesting enough, and it gets more captivating as it unfolds. The same cannot be said for the Islanders/Flames hockey game.
The Informant! was not without its charm, but ultimately it was only slightly more satisfying than Cascade with Dawn Grease-Fighting Action and NHL hockey, natch.