We stand by idly as you bat your eyelashes, cast possible suitors aside between conventions and debates and eventually you set your sights on the two most viable contestants for the position of... boyfriend. Oh, and you talk about it day and night, like we have nothing going on in our lives that you care about, but that's a story for another day.
Back in the day, it wasn't that hard to watch. You had plenty of good men to pick from. You didn't seem to care about superficial things like teeth and hair and swarthy good looks. Heck, you didn't even seem to care about the way they dressed. It was all about what they had going on. You were so cool back then. Those first few boyfriends were all that.
For years, you had your pick. Oh sure, you had ups and downs, just like any gal playing the field. When you were in a bad relationship, you got out and started over. It was like the world was your match.com and you could just log on and get a new boyfriend - every four years, like that.
We're not sure when it happened, but at some point, you lost your mojo:
Sister, we say this because we lurrve you. Sometimes you have lousy taste in boyfriends. And because you can't be on your own, you always have rebounds... and rebounds can be good guys, but clumsy and oafish and even though they mean well they always feel like a rebound and maybe it just doesn't gel for some reason:
And sometimes, you pick real good-ol'boy types, and that's fine with us... we don't care as long as you are happy. But if you're not happy, we're not happy. We want you to be happy.
We understand, everyone falls in love with a movie star hero-type at some point. And whether or not he is good to you at the time, you will always hold him up on a pedestal because of his charm, his looks, his communication skills. And while we agree that all good boyfriends should have these traits, we still just want you to be happy.
Because, ultimately, we know you really haven't been truly happy since...
It seemed like you got pretty close for a while. We actually got busy with our own stuff and stopped obsessing about your relationships for a while. We're sort of like Jan Brady that way... it's always "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha"... and even if you have a boyfriend that is a little smarmy and Greg thinks he's up to no good, he generally treated you well and we wanted you to get on with your life and make the best of it.
We talked to our therapist about your self-sabotage. We worried about you. It was like you'd changed, from back in the old days on the playground when you could have any guy you wanted and you picked the best of the best and let's just say they didn't have "daddy issues" and now, here we are, you are in such a bad relationship and you can make another choice that will change your life forever. And maybe ours, too.
We just have to ask, what did you ever see in him in the first place? We never liked him. Now you're just stuck in this crappy relationship until it comes to its anticlimactic finale and we can hardly wait for you to break free and find someone new. Someone who will respect you and treat you like the great gal that you are and not just show you a good time but take care of you and help you get on your feet again.