not according to plan

Here was my plan for the day: Go to the hospital for my triple bolus test. Do you know what that is? It's a blood test to assess the function of my oft-disrupted pituitary gland.

Reality: my carpenter came at 7:00 (a.m., people!) to take out the kitchen window and install new patio doors... we've been waiting all summer. He got started and off I went to my appointment.

Plan: Test will take two hours and expected to be mildly uncomfortable.

Reality: Test was ridiculously uncomfortable! Can you guess what they did to me? After my IV was in, they tested my insulin levels and then purposely cut them in half with medication - inducing a diabetic like state. I had no idea being a diabetic was so uncomfortable! I mean, really. The dizziness. The fainty feeling. The malaise. Saucy does not like funny, metallic tastes in her mouth! Saucy does not like feeling nauseated.

The nurses were amazing. They warned me that I would feel flushed and hot. I sweat like a little piglet! They brought me a change of clothing. My body temperature plummeted. They phoned the doctor. My head started aching. They wouldn't let me go home. They wrapped me in warm blankets and rubbed my head with cold, damp cloths. They wouldn't let me fall asleep... I really had to fight it. Finally after three hours they said I could sleep. They awoke me after what seemed like thirty seconds... I was wiped out... they gave me the world's most delicious chicken salad sandwich in a triangle plastic shrink wrap that was ever made in a hospital cafeteria. I devoured it. I'd been fasting since yesterday, after all.

Finally, they said I could go home. After getting dressed and having my IV removed, they decided I looked too white to leave! The nurse offered to walk me to my vehicle... at the elevator she insisted that we return to the department - she wouldn't let me go!

I mean really, I'm a ton of fun and all, but... I just wanted to go home. So badly. Knowing that carpenter was working and mover was coming to bring the new appliances into the house through the hole that would only be open for an hour or so didn't help either! Saucy is a control freak.

Plan: Be home by noon, have a rest and take photos of the nice Halloween decorating that I did yesterday to post on the blog.

Reality: Stay pretty much all day in the hospital and come home to find out that carpenter does not know how to use a tarp... the entire house, including the Halloween decor is covered in a rather thick layer of dust. It seems that opening the outer wall of a one hundred year old house is sketchy business... after my fall cleaning binge earlier this week, I now have about three days of floor washing, wall washing, light fixture dusting and vacuuming to do.

But wait, dear reader. It's not all complaining and whining. Today, just when I needed it most (isn't the universe funny that way?) I was the recipient of a Random Act of Kindness. Karen at KAGS Life left the sweetest little parcel on my doorstep... a stash of chocolate chip shortbread, just what a non-diabetic in a diabetic state needs! The nurses even told me (when they finally let me go) that I was supposed to have some chocolate when I got home... and there it was, like some sort of karma-delivered medicinal infusion. Honestly, I nearly shed a tear.

Then there is the little matter of hormones... in order to have the triple bolus test performed, I have been off my hormone patch for a month.

Plan: Slap that patch back on the moment I get home to avoid further hot flashes, state of confusion and sleeplessness.

Reality: The test wasn't performed correctly. Meaning Saucy must remain off her meds for one entire month further until the test can be repeated. Yes, I have to go through the entire ordeal again. Bigger problem: no estrogen. Can you hear the panting, reader? Quick, somebody pass the chocolate chip shortbread! I'm going to need it.

That butterfly on the jar? Paper. Gorgeous. I think this Karen is outrageously crafty, generous and considerate. Check out her blogs here and here. This treat certainly made my day, just when I needed it most. Thank you, sweet friend.

Well, obviously today I didn't go thrifting... but MJ did get her nice little poodles in the mail and she posted about them so I get to use them as Day 3 of the 29 Day Challenge, right? I'm taking it.

These little poodles are perfect for MJ's new 1940's-inspired French poodle themed bathroom renovation. I knew it the moment I laid eyes upon them at La Petit Maison. Remind me to go back there and photograph Billie Jo's autumnal decor for you!

In the meantime, here is Loopy, holding the adorable glittery cat I found for her to decorate the house with. Tomorrow, I'll wash all the dust away and take pictures of our Halloween house.

Or, I'll lay on the sofa, eat chocolate chip shortbread, browse magazines, watch Oprah and Martha, whine and pout a bit, and wait for The Fan to recover from jetlag and come over to bring me some presents from her trip.

What do you think I should do?


karen said...

ohh you poor thing. I feel for you.

The Pumpkin Pink Cottage said...

I think you should call the man who made the mess and have him pay for a Maid to come clean it up for you. Seriously, an old house, did he check for lead paint, I'm a lead paint freak, I test everything, I mean everything..LOL. But really he should pay for the cleaning after all he made the mess. You need to rest, really rest, that test sounds horrible, and I feel so bad that you have to do it again. The dread of knowing you have to experience it again, just not fair. Take tomorrow off and call a maid, and enjoy all the chocolate you can... I hope you feel better soon, Hugs, Big Hugs, Lisa

Mrs. G. said...

Awww, honey, I hope you feel better tomorrow.


Oh you poor thing. What a day. Now the mess to contend with. Not fair!

shay said...

I think you should take the weekend and run away...with your chocolates. I love it that your friend sent you the yummies at just the right time. Someone upstairs is looking after you--even if you still have hot flashes!
I loved your idea of the jar & a "year of magical thinking"!

Kaz-A-Me said...

Thanks for the kind words Saucy - I can't believe that shortbread arrived on just the right day. That really is karma - I've been meaning to do this drive by for a few weeks now (although I assure you the shortbread is a fresh batch!)
Just let me know when you need some more!
Meantime, rest and feel better soon

The Vintage Kitten said...

Aww poor you, I dont know whats worse not knowing what workman are upto when they are pulling my house apart (Ive been there) or having things stuck in me, ooer! that sounds rude but you know what I mean. Hope you feel better soon X

MJ said...

Poor Saucy! What an awful day and to have to repeat that test is unspeakable!

I'd take the latter option of laying on the couch, eating shortbread and wait for the Fan. I wouldn't even blink at the dust. In fact, I'd pretend that I deliberately made the effort of incorporating dust as part of your Halloween decor. Whoever heard of a clean haunted house? It takes deliberate effort to have that kind of layer of dust in time for Halloween. In fact, I'm going to pretend the same thing and my house isn't nearly as Halloween decorated as yours. Whew, I'm off the hook for dusting until early Nov and that's when the drywallers are coming, which means more dust so why bother dusting? I'm off the hook until mid-Nov!

asthmagirl said...

Poor dear. Seriously.
I've had the tests where they stimulate your asthma to see how bad your airways are. There are almost no words. So I'm equal to the task of understanding how hard that test was.
And the carpenter dust... geez. Take a day, move at a slower pace. Eat the shortbread!
Take care!

Legallyblondemel said...

Can non-diabetic diabetics dive into a giant vat of pinot noir? Or at the very least, cheese? I'd wallow in one or all of the above for at least a few days.

But seriously, so sorry for the yucky test stuff & health challenges. I hope you're feeling better today.

abigail @ Piece of Cake said...

i vote for the couch! after what you have been through, sit, watch, eat and, well, blog.

The Shabby Princess said...

I certainly hope you feel better!!

adrienne said...

Hope you feel better!
I love how you've decorated the blog for Halloween - can't wait to see your house - and I hope you get someone else to do the dusting!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

So-fa! So-fa! So-fa!

You totally deserve it.
Cheers for the shortbread, though--ALMOST compensates for the dust.

Yummers! said...

Your tests sound like something out of 'House MD' (FOX network). They're always torturing some poor soul by sending them into a seizure or a heart attack so they can monitor the results. Your tests sounded horrid... but, hey... what a girl wouldn't do for chocolate.

Bejeweled said...

Egads! What a terrible test! And they want to do it again?!?! Yuck!

You deserve barrels of chocolate. Chocolate bars, chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, chocolate cupcakes ... the works! I wonder why they didn't give you some quick acting sugar candy at the hospital, or at least some orange juice or something?

I'll try the trick about the fog. 90 days until snow .... I love snow so I hope it's true!

tidymom said...

Awwwww, what a rotten day, with a touch of sunshine!!! Hope you're feeling better today.

Leave it to a man to NOT think about the mess HE's making! - after all, THEY don't have to clean it up!


Lisa Milton said...

What a long day. I'm so bummed that they have to do it over again too.

(I'm sure once was enough, right?)

I hope you indulged in those sweets and your family and rested.

Take care.

Kristi said...

Saucy -

So sorry that you aren't feeling well...definitely rest...the dust can (and will) wait for you!

Wishing you a Happy Friday and hope you feel much better soon!

:) Kristi

Southern Girl said...

Oh, Saucy! After all that cleaning and fasting and estrogen-free living. ): (But THANK GOD for friends and good deeds!)

julia said...

What a nightmare! I hope each bite of chocolate will drown out the horrid details. And you are definitely not whiny or complainy (is that a word?). Feel better soon!

AwtemNymf said...

First- I am so glad you were given a RAOK. Those chocolate shortbreads sounds like it's just what you needed. Comfort & Chocolate. And maybe a nice bubble bath. I am so sorry you have to go through that ordeal AGAIN! Pffft!
I find it hard to believe that a carpenter doesn't know how to use a tarp. WTH?!!! He should! And he should cover the costs of cleaning it up.
Anyhooty- I hope you feel better soon. I'll send you some faerie dust!
Hugs & Sprinkles-

Jerri-Lea said...

That sucks about the test. It's aweful that you have to wait another month and without your meds. It sure doesn't seem fair.
Fabulous that you received some chocolate treats on your step though! I think what goes around comes around! Absolutely hit the couch with a pint of GOBFATHER icecream, pop in SATC movie or one of your faves, await The Fan's arrival to shower you with treats.
Hang in there! Hugs

amyf4 said...

Stay in bed! Eat lots of chocolate and whine. You deserve it. And play on the computer and forget about the dirty house that needs attention. That's what I'm doing. And I don't have a good excuse.

Yin said...

eeks! i'm so sorry you had such an awful day! this just means tomorrow will be that much better!!

have extra chocolate and enjoy your weekend!

CC said...

When nothing goes according to plan? Coach + chocolate sounds great to me!

hunnybunny said...

I hope you are resting, eating chocolate and then well resting. Hope you can have a fabulous weekend.

Brian and Kirsten said...

Thanks for popping over to visit. Maddy is a pretty adorable 1-year-old (as I know Loopy must have been!). My other nieces and nephew are pretty darn cute too and will need some of their own "blogtime" in the future.

Until then, the 29-day challenge continues moving forward, and I'm glad we'll be motivating each other. Just look at how the gift of giving has repaid you today when you needed it most of all.

And now, you should definitely take tomorrow off - unless you find that the extra surge of sugar sends you into a cleaning frenzy!


Brian and Kirsten said...

P.S.As for reading Twilight... you should definitely DO IT, it's an awesome series! Tell Loopy it is an awesome teenage love story with a twist... Vampires (the good kind of course!)... much different from Harry Potter.

Linda Crispell said...

How yuckity!!!

Laura said...

What a terrible, horrible day! And to think you get to do it all over again - ugh! I've got that same cute cat you bought Loopy!

Oliver Rain said...

Stay on the couch. Hire Molly Maid. Eat sweets.

What is this? You have a CAT in the house? I know I know, it's not a real cat, but it's a slippery slope you know.

Christina said...

Rest and take it easy. Today was a rough day! Someone already mentioned calling the carpenter and having him pay to have the mess cleaned. I think that's a great idea. I'm sorry the day was so awful. You have a great friend to bring you a treat like that.

Donna O. said...

I DO like the mantle. I guess you could tell Vito you'll rename it womantle!!!
Happy H!