guest blogger... duke


Reader! It's me! Over here! Over here! Loooky! I'm Duke! Duke! The Duke of Windsor. Remember me? I live with Saucy and Veto. Life is good. Today, not so good for Saucy. She's got the hormone problems. She wants her estrogen back. In some unfair alternate universe there is a Saucy wearing a patch who does not have a splitting headache and hot flashes. I feel sorry for Mother Saucy. When she is low on hormones, she is low on energy. When she is low on energy, we miss our morning run. Well... I don't! She does! I still run without estrogen, see...



Dog lovers! Don't write to Saucy and tell her how bad she is. She will ignore your pleas for common sense and dog humanity. She will tell you that dogs need exercise but that Saucy isn't always up for the task nor the duration of it. She will continue to allow me to chase the vehicle in a safe and secure area. Do not report Saucy to the SPCA. She has donated enough money to them and rescued enough strays that they will turn a blind eye to this behaviour at any rate. It's called hush money, people.


Again... dog lovers! Do not berate my beloved Saucy for giving me deep fried pastry. I lurrve me some Timbits. When I see the magic sign, my tail wags uncontrollably. When she turns the corner into the drive thru, I see spots. Magical, sugary, cinnamon spots. When the girls on the loudspeaker hear Saucy's voice, they know I'm in line! They all run to the window to give me mad props. They dig my intense gaze and my brawny good looks. I'm like some sort of Dog God, a canine Leonardo DiCaprio. I just want everyone to register to vote. Please register.



This is me, waiting for Loopy to come out of her school. Check out my focus! It's like I think she will emerge wearing a brown visor and a hairnet or something. The boys will come out first, carrying their skateboards and this will intrigue me but I will not waver in my mission to bring Loopy to the Jeep. I have a job, people - and I take it seriously!



Mission accomplished. Time for a nap. Well, I've lived here over a year and I have no real complaints. Veto is a little soft on me. He adores me. Saucy seems to be the disciplinarian. Despite her efforts to corrupt me with donuts, I eat very well... a special blend raw food diet for my allergies. Thank Dog I'm not allergic to fritters!

I miss The Fan and The Secret Weapon. We drove past their house today and I let out a plaintive "whoof" as we sped by. I think I may have cried, but then I saw a Starbucks. I lurrve me some bear claws!

25 comments:

sassy studio said...

Oh Duke..you are so very dashing!

Lisa Milton said...

Poor Mother Saucy! Hope she feels better soon.

(I think that run is ingenious.)

And Duke? You are adorable.

sassy studio said...

My letter to the Fan.......

Dear Fan,

Yes Saucy has ignored you. She is a lousy daughter. I will be your new daughter. I will write you as much as you like if you bring me stuff when you go on trips. I don't have a dog but I will dress up my baby as a dog will teach him to woof if you like, he already drools quite a bit. I am not nearly as talented as your Saucy but I am a quick learner. What do you think Fan? Change is good.

Love,
Sassy
(Dear Saucy - I know I don't stand a chance against you and Duke!) Let's get together for lunch with the Fan and the Frenemie when the Fan gets back!

Laura said...

You are precious Duke, and you deserve apple fritters for being so loyal and adorable!

Tamara Jansen said...

That is just so creative. You definately think outside the box when it comes to solving problems.

I'm a Tim Horton's fanatic myself. Duke has good taste!

Saucy said...

Dear Sassy,

You can HAVE her. I keep The Secret Weapon. They both abandoned me... for three whole weeks. It's so unfair. Here I am, woefully unadequately unmedicated and nobody to generally complain to or freak out on!

Plus, Veto and I got invited on a last-minute, spur of the moment, complementary trip to Napa Valley and with The Fan and The Secret Weapon gone we were left to our own devices and responsibilities and had to decline.

How's that for a guilt trip, Mother?

Sincerely
Saucy

Duke said...

mmmmm fritters... I remember those fritters...

Cherry's Jubilee said...

Oh I love duke...we have a black lab....they are the best. love your bloggety goodness here. cherry

A Bite of Country Cupcakes said...

Well after reading Rue's blog and your comment about getting giddy when you receive comments...I thought Hmm Just like me!!!
So here I am to give you a little dose of giddy!!!
Enjoy!
Funny blog...roflmao!!!

A glance at my world said...

I just found your blog though peaches and posh and I love it! I'm sitting here at 3 a.m. going through old posts. I really like the photo shoot posts since I'm a mass comm major and have taken photo I & II. I really want to find some magazine photos and go out and have a photo shoot to look like the mag pics :) Thanks for the inspiration

Anonymous said...

saucy redeemed herself, ever so slightly, with ONE measly letter - so Sassy, honey - you're my favorite!! Baby Sprout might benefit from my shopping spree today!! (as you can tell, I PAY people to love me)...does that make me a 'women of suspicious repute'..I surely hope so!!! xoxo the fan

Helena said...

Duke,
You are one handsome fella'. :-)

A New England Life said...

I lurrve me some Duke! He is too darned handsome for his own good. I'll bet he's a great snuggler too!

No hormones and hotflashes for me yet . . . but it's coming!

Let's eat some fritters : )

koehmstedt said...

Duke has the best face ever! I loved this post, it is so cute.

Lisa said...

Oh Saucy. This was the funniet post ever. Who knew your dog could write with such humor. He is gorgeous. Thanks for making me almost spit out my coffee from laughing so hard this morning!!

The Pumpkin Pink Cottage said...

awesome post, I'm a huge doggie Fan, and that was awesome..my Bo is a little over in pounds and I can't run for a slipped disc in my neck, I need to find a safe untravel road for that...he so needs some exercise. I mean how many times can one chase a kicked ball in the backyard... Wonderful post and Duke is a cutie...hugs, lisa...
P.S. I hope you are feeling much better real soon...

Her Shabbyness: Sweet 'n Southern said...

Oh Duke!! Such a cutie...

Saucy, I have to tell you that my dear mother ran our dog the same way when I was a kid! Every night we'd load into the Buick (I'm not kidding) and drive down the road. And, she'd bring our dog to school to pick me up--this was of course, after she'd taken him to McDonalds for a plain hamburger... He had a good life... Looks like Duke does too!

Indigo Robe said...

Ahhh, crap. Apparently my eyeballs were frozen from my head being in the freezer as I posted my comment on the previous post, not this one. Sigh... and it was about the Tim Horton's too.

alittlebitofscrap said...

Duke, you are adorable!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Duke has so much charm--I'd buy him fritters if I lived closer!

MJ said...

I was going to post about your post but I am taken aback by the Fan's comment. What did I do wrong? Why isn't she buying my adoration like she does all the others? Does someone have to complain to the Human Rights Commission? I feel so discriminated against...

Hay said...

Duke is Gilby's new secret boyfriend. He's so sweet!

Tammy (Mom to this crazy bunch) said...

Duke you are the sweetest, sugariest animal I have ever read a blog from...

Tootsie Farklepants said...

OMG! I laughed HARD at the picture of Duke waiting for Loopy outside of school!

michelleb. said...

Duke, I enjoyed your post and am glad that Saucy has a back-up to keep us readers entertained. But I have to say, I enjoyed the back-and-forth between Sassy, Saucy & The Fan, too.

mblaise29@yahoo.com