secret recipe unleashed

I am a deep well of secrets. I keep lots of secrets, including some of my recipes. Foolishly, I let a very bad person - and we shall call him Donnelly because that is his name - in the kitchen when I was making my Super Double Top Secret Ingredient Chicken Fingers. I found out from Veto that Donnelly was blabbing my double-secret-ingredients around town like nobody's business. The recipe fortress has been breached. Donnelly can no longer be trusted. I will now share my Previously Super Double Top Secret Ingredient Chicken Finger Recipe with all of you, in case Donnelly gets to you first and he gets it wrong, which is quite likely, since he is a simpleton.*

As I may have mentioned, you will have to get your hands on not one, but two secret ingredients. The first one will be easy:

The second top secret ingredient may be more difficult to locate. Check your baking aisle, where the spices are. It's probably located on the shelf with things like Mrs. Dash, Accent, and non-MSG seasonings. You can get it in a salt-free version, look for that in a blue label. Both will work fine.

When you have your secret ingredients, gather also: heavy cream, eggs, Miracle Whip type salad dressing, fresh (never frozen) chicken breasts, finely ground bread crumbs, pepper for grinding, and a light oil for frying such as canola oil or vegetable oil.

Prepare the chicken. This means washing the pieces. I wash everything, I don't know who has touched it or where it has been. It may have been on the floor at Costco. With a sharp knife, cut the breasts into nice little filet-style "fingers" (hence the name). It will be easy to figure out, each breast should cut nicely into about five fingers or so.

In a bowl, beat together the eggs and the heavy cream. How many eggs and how much cream is up to you. Here's a trick: after the eggs are frothy and before you add the cream, plop in a dollop of the Miracle Whip salad dressing (okay, technically another secret ingredient) and whisk it into the wet mixture.

Place the washed, cut chicken pieces into the wet coating mixture. Then, prepare your dry coating mixture: in the food processor, reduce the Captain Crunch cereal to a fine mixture. Add it to a bowl of an equal amount of dry bread crumbs. Grind a generous amount of black pepper to the mixture.

Take the fingers, piece by piece, from the wet mixture (let them drip over the wet bowl... don't let the dry mixture get too wet!) and put them into the dry mixture. Roll them around and coat them well. This is when you will be glad you used cream, and not milk. The mixture is nice and thick and attracts lots of the dry mixture.

Make a little assembly line of chicken fingers coated in the cereal mixture... you can place them on paper towel, and they won't stick if you're cooking them right away. Otherwise, throw some corn meal on the paper towel - and keep the uncooked fingers refrigerated. I cook mine right away.

All lined up and ready to go. This process can be a little messy, especially if you have helpers. Avoid helpers if you keep a clean kitchen, or you keep your recipes a secret. Guys named Donnelly are not good helpers.

Fill a shallow pan about 1/3 full of the oil for deep frying. I wish I could tell you the temperature, but I can't. I only know that the oil is ready when the first finger I drop in sizzles like this:

Another hint: move the pieces around in the pan as soon as you put them in the oil. This prevents them from sticking to the bottom of the pan.

Sometimes I have more than one pan cooking at once. I'm not showing off today, because I am the photographer as well as the short order cook.

Turn those bad boys over once during cooking. You can test to see if they're done by cutting into one when it has the perfect brown colour. Chicken is cooked when it is no longer pink and it appears to fall apart. There is in fact an exact temperature the oil should be at and a temperature the chicken should be but as I said before this is a general guide and for legal reasons you would be obliged to look those numbers up for yourself.

Take them from the pan and place them on a paper towel to absorb excess oil. There won't be much if you do it right. At this point, pull your second secret ingredient from your apron pocket and sprinkle it on the chicken fingers with abandon. Yes, with abandon.

Keep the fingers warm while you cook the rest of the batch in a 250 degree oven... or so. It won't take long to cook them all up and they are delicious when served with Chinese cherry or plum sauce. You know, the kind that has never seen a cherry or a plum.

* I can call Donnelly whatever I like because he blabbed my secret recipe. That's how it goes.


Mrs. G. said...

Captain Crunch? You never cease to amaze me.

Anonymous said...

If my helpers saw the ingredients, they would not eat them.

Pepper said...

Keep those "secret" recipe's comin'! (I know you have about a billion of them!)

Melissa said...

Incredible. I'd never have put these things together anywhere but in a shopping cart!

Angela said...

you are brilliant!


Saucy said...

Yes, I am.

Oliver Rain said...

I have a similar recipe using Honey Crunch Cornflakes & Montreal Steak Spice. However, I never even thought to deep fry them. I've got to try that.

Oliver Rain said...

I tried your recipe tonight. I'm throwing my own one out the door. These get 4 thumbs (our maybe chicken fingers) out of 6. And that's only because 2 of the thumbs are still at work!

fated follies studio said...

ha ha, that looks delicious. i should try it for dinner one time. you are pretty funny, thanks for the cabbage patch story, it cracks me up. obviously you didnot readmy teenag mutant ninja turtle story, otherwise you would be thinking that i was the idiot. and that was when i was a kid. you don't even want to know what i did as a teenager with my friends. and well i guess not much has changed. i still have idiot stories. i am pretty young, 25, to be exact, educated and what-not but still ended up married and pregnant at 21. oh well. it is nice to meet you saucy. enjoy your weekend.


Angela said...


For those of us who can't find "spike" could you please tell us what the seasonings are in the mix? What would make a good substitute?


Saucy said...

Angela, I think something like "Mrs. Dash" (the original flavour, not one of the new, fancy lemon ones or anything like that) would probably work nicely.

Angela said...

Great thanks! making them tonight! Wish me luck!

(Hope to reply to your e-mail soon)

Angela said...

Made and ate said secret Saucy chicken strips and now we are hooked!!! Thank you again for the recipe!


Janine Wahl said...

OMG I gotta try that.

AnickH said...

Ive been looking all over for this recipe! Yeay Im glad you have it