no, mrs. g, I can't put him in a jar for you

The winner of my second blogiversary extravaganza is Mrs. G from Derfwad manor. This follows extensive conferencing with the judging panel: Veto, The Secret Weapon, The Fan and Uncle Bug.

The criteria, albeit loose, was to charm the judges with wit, candor and insight. In all likelihood, Mrs. G's comment, however charming though it was, was cinched by the mere fact that she attributed my "smokin' good looks" to The Fan. The Fan, unable to be dissuaded by this obvious flagrant attempt at cyber-bribery, was undeterred in her insistence that the custom fairy jar go to Mrs. G over at Derfwad Manor.

To that point, Uncle Bug acquiesced due to the fact that Mrs. G ever-so-slightly hinted in a comment long ago that he might someday be named on her list of not-so-secret boyfriends, based on one of my braggart posts about the fancy gifts he makes for me. It was obvious at the time that Mrs. G was just dying to have something made for her. Mrs. G. digs handmade goods and not that long ago made a pledge on her blog to buy handmade gifts from now on. As crafty artist-types, we like Mrs. G's pledge and her support of our kind, who usually have no money to buy food because "we work for our passion".

After reading her blog, it pained us all to see that Mrs. G neither wins small nor wins big on a regular basis. Why, such a needy individual surely needs to feel the thrill of winning a little sumthin' sumthin.

Further, the decision was finally etched in cement when it was agreed that a woman who so openly covets secret celebrity boyfriends is obviously screaming out for... well, secret celebrity boyfriends. The Fan, who has had not-so-secret boyfriends for many years (Andy Williams? John Kenneth Galbraith?? Sam Donaldson?? You've got to be kidding us) feels Mrs. G's pain and agrees that a fine husband in the suburbs is much nicer, even though she cops to having "feelings" for Irving Layton long ago - to the point that she sported a long black cigarette holder and a beret even after bagging The Secret Weapon.

And so, Mrs. G, as the recipient of a not-so-secret fairy jar, you are entitled to trap the visual likeness of someone you love inside a jar forever. It will be mailed to Derfwad Manor when spring dwindles toward summer and Saucy comes down from the high of the epoxy she uses when she glues the lid closed.

Here are the caveats (there are always caveats):

Please email Saucy a photo in jpeg format of someone near to your heart. Usually, those of the female persuasion work very nicely for this project, so think of the jar as a one-tenant Woman's Colony.

No images of the following: Tom Cruise, Newt Gingrich, Prince Charles (his ears are too big for the jar opening, we've tried), Bill O'Reilly, Sally Kellerman, Old Fat Elvis (Young Thin Elvis is okay), Eliot Spitzer, you get the gist.

If I may make a suggestion (or two), your lovely daughter Miss G., female relatives of any sort, sisters if you have them, inspiring authors (Bronte, perhaps) and these types of individuals make excellent jar fairies. They sit quite nicely, quiet and preserved for eternity, on the bookshelf or the windowsill.

If you care, enlighten me about your trapped loved one, so the jar may be personalized somewhat. It's what I do.

Lastly, to all who made such lovely comments, thank you from the bottom of my heart heart heart (Tammy Wynette reference) and I am absolutely honored that any of you would take the time to read my little blog. The pleasure it has brought me over the past two years is immeasurable and I hope in time I will be able to repay each and every one of you in some small way.

6 comments:

Mrs. G. said...

I can't believe I won!! And this post just made my night. I admit I was buttering up The Fan, but only because I want her to start her own blog.

And I did declare love for Uncle Bug-was it the little TV? I think I may have pledged feelings for The Secret Weapon-I can't remember what he made that captured my fancy.

Miss G. was just in a fashion show, and I have a picture of her in a beautiful vintage dress.

Mr. G. and I continue to work at laying in her dowry. Don't forget we have dibs on Buddy.

scrappaleica said...

Saucy, I haven't been able to surf my fav. blogs in the last month,a little bit of heavy stuff going on in my life. but I'm trying to catch up. Your blog is GREAT! happy anniversary, cool contest, and congrats to the winner. Also love your green changes. our family does a few of the same, but not nearly enough. It's definitely my fault because sometimes I'm too tired and just prefer the easy way out. So you have definitely motivated me to make more of an effort to change. I too now only blowdry for "events" we go to, otherwise I air dry (this alone has probably saved a year's worth in electricity!)It's hard making changes, but I so admire that you are out there encouraging all of us. Love the Louis Vuitton garbage bags. LOL! Can't wait to catch up on more of your blog. My gramma's neighbor invested in the tire driveway. It's cool the sponginess of it. Plus, we must, we must get together for a tea or something! Let me know when you have a minute in life!

Pepper said...

Ah, Saucy, you crack me up! I swear, you really should write a book...

Janet said...

Love Johnny in a bottle :-)

Congrats to Mrs. G.!

Junie Moon said...

I'm super tickled for Mrs. G and I absolutely love how you've posted this announcement of her big win. What fun!

Oliver Rain said...

Totally rigged. Why didn't I think of complementing the family members.

I agree that Mrs. G is most deserving of the fairy jar. She makes me laugh with nearly every post.

And, Saucy, you repay us each and every time you publish a post.