holding grudges (not illustrated)

I had a friend in grad school who, looking back on it, likely had the benefit of plenty of therapy. He said that when somebody offended him or caused him trouble, he said their name backwards. He explained that just by saying their name backwards, it de-personalizes the offensive individual, therefore removing negative feelings associated with saying their name, say, forewards.

This weekend, I was exploring Facebook a little bit. Since I registered a few months ago, I've been contacted by old friends from high school, university, cheerleading and old jobs. Most of the time I'm thrilled to see a new friend added to my list and I want to read their profile to find out what they've been up to.

Other times, not so much. I had a bully in high school. I'll call her "Enidal" because it depersonalizes her. She had a locker near mine in sophomore year, and was she tough. One thing about me, I don't come off as tough. Tough Girl Enidal, she dragged me down. She slammed her locker. She jeered at me. She intimidated me. Once, I stood up to her in my usual snappy-comeback way. She invited me to step outside.

She's contacted me on Facebook. She wants to be friends. She wants to read my profile. I've ignored her request but she requested again. Of this, I can only say, Enidal, if you're out there, I'm still ignoring you. I'm still a little scared of you. But I've depersonalized you. Ynohtna taught me that much.

6 comments:

Scrappy Jessi said...

hey girl!
you are so funny!
just can't ever forget those bully's. Hmm o well you are a better person.
have a great week.
oxoxoxo,
jessi

Sarah and Jack said...

Ah well, chances are she is a totally different person now. Have you looked at her facebook? LOL

Oliver Rain said...

I've had to turn a few requests down too, I'm afraid. Sometimes, I'm just not interested...other times, oh, the memories, painful memories just thinking about some people...I have to remember that backwards thing. I will use that on at least one person I know.

I like all the blog changes you've made. You are such a good looking family.

MJ said...

I recall the name, not the face. I'd have to check our yearbook. I didn't have similar experiences in high school altho I do recall a certain girl in elementary school who tried to putting me down and I recall her getting into physical fights at school. Her name started with "F". When I called her "motor mouth", she stopped her bantering.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Yeah. There's no way I'd reconnect with my junior high school bully. She can suck it.

mlafayette said...

Way to go!! I have contacted people from high school that I haven't seen in years but only people that I have good memories of. To some people facebook is a competition and want to get hundreds of friends. I just don't get it :(