bad mother of the year

I spent the evening sifting through old photos to share with you some of the wonderous moments of motherhood. I was looking for pictures of the fantastic birthday parties given for Loopy in years past... and I was appalled to find nothing but glaring proof of my poor mothering:

At seven years old, I decided that it would be too much work to have a sleepover. So out of necessity, I invented the "almost sleepover" where partygoers would arrive in slumber attire after supper and revel until the wee hours... around nine o'clock... when I would be tired of them and send them home all hopped up on cake and ice cream. They can throw up at home.

And what did I notice in the photos? I guess I gave them candy cigarettes. And let them apply their own makeup, trashy-style.

The next year, I embraced my badness before the party even started:

The parties were legendary mother-daughter events. Daughters in one room, eating candy. Mothers in the other room, drinking martinis.

In 2003, everyone came to Salon Saucy for the evening:

And glamorous mother-daughter "after" photos! The mothers (and a couple of grandmothers) had the best time at a child's birthday party, evah.

For this extravaganza, I hired students from the local beauty academy. They gave everyone a glam "updo" complete with tiaras from the sale rack at Claires. Wine tasting for the mommies, ice-cream tasting for the girlies (okay, mommies had ice cream too).

A few days in the big city for sightseeing. Where did we go? To see Ed the Sock of course.

Self-explanatory. Even though this photo was taken on the occasion of my graduation with a Master's Degree in Education, it proves that I shouldn't be in charge of children in any way:

But the worst story, by far?

The adventure of the Mary Kate doll from Brownies. The Brownie leader sent Mary Kate or Ashley home with a different Brownie every week. All week, the host Brownie would document all of Mary Kate or Ashley's wonderful adventures in a journal and read it at the next meeting. A typical week for dolly went something like this: We went to see granny at the nursing home! Mary Kate came with me to school for show and tell! We drove through McDonald's for ice cream!

But a week with Loopy and Saucy, miscreant mother? Loopy reported to the shocked and horrified Brownie group that Mary Kate stayed up too late dancing. She fell off the back of the sofa and and cried out in agony. She had to be rushed to emergency where a CAT scan revealed she needed surgery. She suffered broken limbs and a concussion. Then the Brownies were invited to sign her cast.

So tell me, am I a bad mother?