Tonight, after a horrible day, I had a kitchen mishap. A big one. But still, I'm very lucky. I have a story to tell you.
The details of my bad day aren't important to this story, if only to add to the drama and perhaps make you feel a little sorry for me, my friends. The first part of my day involved the hospital, doctors, nurses, needles, and that sort of thing.
Later, I was back at home and feeling a little better so I decided to make a light supper. I was the only one in the house so I decided to cook some rice in our nice new-ish microwave. This was to be a very bad idea. Usually I cook rice on the stove but the allure of having a serving of brown rice in less than an hour was too great. I had one of those nifty microwave rice cookers and I'd never tried it, so tonight was the night. I read the directions. On the cooker and on the rice bag. The cooker said 25 minutes for brown rice and the rice bag said 30 minutes. Seemed like a good plan. Stir the rice after ten minutes with a fork. I did. I returned to the sofa and thought, "gee, that medicine I am taking really is making things smell and taste all burned today". (The last time I took sulfasalazine it perverted my senses, I volleyed between being unable to taste or smell anything at times and at other times everything tasted like burnt toast or had a strange metallic taste).
So you see, it was a good few minutes - until my eyes felt the sting of smoke - before I realized that I had a little fire going on in my microwave oven. When I entered the kitchen, I couldn't see anything for the smoke, but I grappled towards the sink and got the tap running. I threw a dish towel under the water and threw it over my face. Fanning the smoke, I saw the flames bursting out of the closed microwave! Somehow, I lunged forward and pressed the STOP button on the oven, and the flames extinguished.
Then I did something really silly. I opened the oven door to assess the damage - one melted, charred rice cooker, a burned hull of a stainless steel microwave oven, and tons more smoke billowing out towards me. I covered my face with the cloth and ran to open doors and windows.
Keep in mind, it is -20 degrees C, as in, twenty below zero, and it's a little chilly to throw all of your doors and windows open, especially when you've been sick all day. I managed to phone Veto and Buddy, who were on their way home from the hospital, bringing my car back from the parkade. They arrived back at the house as the smoke was wafting out the front door and the place smelled awful.
With the doors all open and everyone trying to open windows... the dog got out. He came in through the back door. With a wasp's nest. Yes. A frozen home of thousands of dangerous, flying insects, that can thaw very easily and bring all of its inhabitants out of dormancy. I realized that he had it and wrestled his new toy away from him and into a plastic ziploc bag.
Needless to say, I killed the microwave. It now sits in the backyard. There are smoke and flame marks on the wall near its shelf. We are so very lucky... another thirty seconds, and well, you know. Any tips on how to get rid of this smoky smell?