** Editors note: Saucy was shopping at her favourite discount retailer this morning and found the floor model of the gas range shown below on sale for the ghastly-low sum of $600.00. She immediately phoned Veto and told him where the stove was, and that perhaps, since the stove we inherited in our new house is so very common, we might consider replacing it at that price.
Shortly thereafter, the telephone rang. Veto was standing in the showroom in front of said appliance. He made the following offer: he would purchase the range but it would be instead of - that is in lieu of - a Christmas gift. And a birthday gift. Hmmmmmm.
While you have made me a lovely offer, I will have to decline. You are always most sweet and generous with me. I could not ask for a more loving and sweet husband! I blog about you ALL the time. The blog girls are positively green with envy over you.
I do believe that a smart wife would refuse the offer to have an appliance to which she would surely be chained to in order to produce the delightful chicken fingers, lemon pies and pepper steaks that have made me so famous, as a substitute for both a Christmas and birthday gift!
And while I am greatly flattered that the sum of $600.00 divided into two parts equals a very generous birthday and Christmas allocation, I believe that I would undermine my own cause should I accept. Surely I would be better off "spinning the wheel of chance" as it were and let you loose on the mall to find me a pair of mittens or slippers or something. In this regard, I take the chance that one day, the stove we currently own will need to be replaced at any rate... and we will find ourselves at the aforementioned appliance store, and I will then choose the model I would like in order to continue providing the delicious pepper steaks I have already described here.
Then, surely, a wise and Saucy gal like myself will have both the range, and the mittens, or whatever little goodie you decide to put in my stocking.
In closing, I remain ever-smitten with you, and most of the time, with the way that you think. You are so generous that you even took me to San Fransisco for my 40th birthday this year, and that cannot go without mention, should you come off looking less than the very-damned-near-close-to-perfect husband that you are. You also purchased not one, but two, Diptique candles for me on a complete impulse while we were there, such the indulgence of a candle like that is truly the only thing a girl needs to feel special.
So if you would like, you can buy me just one more of those candles for Christmas. It would only cost fifty dollars. And we could buy the stove for the kitchen.
Much lurve and kisses,