whoopie pies

Today Saucy got back into the kitchen and it felt good. It felt really, really good. It all started with a pan:
But let Saucy reassure you, Dear Reader, you do not need the pan. Pocket the thirty dollars and hit the dollar store for some of that silicone (non-stick) parchment paper she likes to talk about.  If you're more of a perfectionist, go ahead and get the pan.

Whoopie pies are described as "edible nostalgia" but Saucy will have to take your word for it. She did not grow up where whoopie pies or moon pies or any pie other than her Granny's fruit pies were readily available. In fact, she'd never seen a whoopie pie until Paula Dean made them with Rachael Ray once on television and she became so enamoured with the idea of such a pie - part cupcake, part turnover, part Oreo cookie - she just had to have the pan.

Last week, she found the pan. With the pan, came a recipe.

For the cakes:

1 cup (155g) all-purpose flour

1/2 cup (45 g) Dutch process cocoa powder

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/4 tsp. salt

2/3 cup (155 g) firmly packed brown sugar

6 tbsp. (3/4 stick or 90 g) unsalted butter

3/4 tbsp. vanilla extract

1 egg

1 cup (250 ml) buttermilk, plus more as needed

Have all the ingredients at room temperature. Heat oven to 325 degrees. The instructions with the pan said to grease and flour, but Saucy used non-stick spray and it worked fine. (Sometimes when she makes chocolate cake, she greases the pan with butter and "flours" it with cocoa powder to prevent that nasty white film that sometimes occurs).

In a bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt; set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the flat beater, beat together the brown sugar and the butter on medium speed until combined, about one minute. Add the vanilla and egg and beat until fluffy, about one minute. Stop the mixer and scrape down the sides. Reduce the speed to low and add the flour mixture in three additions, alternating with the buttermilk - beginning and ending with the flour. Beat each addition until just incorporated, stopping the mixer occasionally to scrape the sides of the bowl. Increase the speed to medium-high and beat for 30 seconds.

The instructions mention that the batter should spread evenly after you distribute about 1 and 1/2 tablespoons into each well of the pan. If the batter is too thick and does not spread, beat in one to two tablespoons more buttermilk for the desired consistency that Saucy reached after that point (above). By lightly tapping the pan on the counter, air bubbles are released and the batter evens out inside the wells.

This is the part where Saucy would like to remind her frugalista blogging peeps that the pan would not be necessary. Do you have a small ice cream scoop to release the batter onto the non-stick baking paper? If so, drop small, even scoops onto the paper and bake them just like Miss Paula Dean did on television. You might want to do a test cake to see how much the batter spreads.

Otherwise, place the pan in the oven and bake for 8-10 minutes (ten was needed for sure) or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Saucy likes to do the shine test and the touch test when baking cakes and cupcakes. The surface should lose its shine, and when touched lightly with a fingertip, the cake bounces back into shape. Truth be told, Saucy doesn't even have toothpicks in her kitchen. They're in the glue drawer in the craft room.

Remove the pies when they are finished baking from the oven and let them cool in the pan for five minutes. Saucy used a little dessert fork and pop, pop, popped them out onto a cooling rack. They cool right off in a blink, those little pie pieces.

For the filling:

2 and 1/4 cups (280 g) confectioner's (icing) sugar

5 tbsp. (75 g) unsalted butter

3 tbsp. milk

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1/8 tsp. salt

To prepare the filling, use the flat beater on your stand mixer again. Combine all ingredients on low speed until just blended and then crank up the speed to medium-high until fluffy, about one minute. It will be nice and fluffy... and kind of sticky. That's a good thing.

Saucy's tips for this recipe: when cooling the pies, cool them with the good side facing up. You don't want your pie top to have the cooling rack marks on it. When they are all cooled, flip over half of the pie pieces and line 'em up for assembly. The filling thickens as it sits so you will want to assemble these bad boys within a half hour or so of cooling completely.

Saucy decided that she could get all fancy and pipe the filling inside, but with a name like whoopie pie, that seemed like too much effort. Something called a whoopie pie should just get smeared with filling and slapped together, all down-home like.

Another tip: slap a little bit of filling on the opposite pie piece... they'll stick together better.

The verdict on this nostalgic treat? Sweet. Very sweet. Saucy found them almost too sweet and decided that next time, she might concoct some sort of cream cheese filling for this cake. That's it... a little cream cheese action on a red velvet whoopie pie. Sounds delicious, doesn't it? Serve and enjoy with a cold glass of milk.  

Makes 12 whoopie pies. Saucy got 14.

Recently, Saucy found this message in her comments:

Great googlimoogli... Saucy felt that there was nothing left to do but mix herself a light and breezy cocktail of premium brand-name vodka and pomegranate extracts (for the antioxidants) to wash down her anti-depressants and sleep medications. Upon further consideration and the consumption of two more flirtinis, Saucy penned her anonymous blog flamer the following letter:

Dear Elisabeth Hasslebeck (if that is indeed who you are):

Is that you? Are you back under your anonymous moniker to flame my blog yet again in the name of post-feminist Republicanism? 

How I have missed you, my Anonymous Blog Flamer. You add spice and verve to my otherwise... what was the word...bourgeoisie life that I share with my loving husband and extended family. Let's not forget my charming children who must be rotting under the shell of this stinking corpse of mine! 

Dear Anonymous Blog Flamer, if you are indeed Elisabeth Hasslebeck as I believe you are, then do yourself a favour and return to the confines of the studios of The View and hide behind the hulking imbecile Bill Geddy, Whoopi Goldberg's dreadlocks, Sherri Sheppard's brassiere (which should have won best-supporting-something on Sunday) and the skeleton formerly known as Barbara Walters! Until then, let yourself be known by name! 

And if you are not Elisabeth Hasslebeck, Anonymous Blog Flamer, then rest assured that in calling you out by invoking the name of my nemesis, you mean nothing more to me than she does. I simply refuse to take your commentary seriously without your true identity attached. In other words, nut up or shut up.

I can only imagine that perhaps as you cruise the world wide web in search of those to belittle, you felt compelled to make the above comment as a result of your own insecurity and lack of self-esteem (and perhaps even jealousy that my government provides me free health care and low-cost mood-altering pharmaceuticals which render your statements nothing more to me than entertainment rather than the blow to my self-image that you intended).

But I digress. I will simply assume, as I did with a previous archenemy years ago, that even though you appear to have some mastery of the English language, you are more than likely some toothless hack surrounded by a multitude of mangey felines, sitting alone and prowling blogs for the opportunity to showcase your vocabulary skills which no doubt you obtained reading copious amounts of Danielle Steele novels in your adolescence. Prior to that, you were weaned from your mother's gargantuan tit with a diet of Fresca and corn chips. How unfortunate for you. I picture you, in front of your rent-to-own laptop, split ends and all, passing judgement on my home and family. Good for you! I applaud your productive use of time.

To demonstrate my largesse I would like to propose a truce.  In fact, I would like to partner with you in the development and marketing of your own personal fragrance: an earthy blend of pet urine, human dander, overactive sweat glands featuring musky undertones of resentment and feelings of inadequacy... top notes of bergamot and cat litter. If this sounds enticing, contact me immediately and I will introduce you to the makers of Paris Hilton's signature scent, which is almost identical but also reeks of self-importance. 

You may find my aesthetic disdainful but I find your anonymity distasteful.

Luurve,
Saucy

P.S.  Kiss My Tiara!

annual oscar dress recap

Let's get on with it then, shall we? Some of you may actually be waiting to hear what Saucy thought of the Oscar dresses this year. As expected, there were plenty of strapless gowns, ruffles and asymmetrical lines. The big trend of the night... soft shades. Who did it best?


Dear Cameron Diaz,

While you haven't made a good movie since Saucy can't remember when, you sure wore a lovely frock by Oscar de la Renta to the Academy Awards this year. Your sideswept hair was especially breezy and casual and kept the whole look light. Saucy might want to caution you that you are beginning to look like Melanie Griffith, who is beginning to resemble The Joker, so you might want to see this as a cautionary tale and avoid any plastic surgery in the future.

Sincerely,
Saucy


Dear Demi Moore,

Were you included in the tribute to John Hughes or were you intentionally left out in favour of the less-successful alumnae? Saucy noticed that you and Robert Downey were actual awards presenters and the likes of Ally Sheedy and McCauley Culkin were relegated to the long shot.

Well, at any rate, you outdazzled them all in Versace and proved that women of a certain age can look fresh and youthful without ending up like Melanie Griffith or Antonio Banderas. Besides, none of those has-beens are on Twitter, anyway.

See you online, @mrskutcher,
@saucydragonfly


Dear Sarah Jessica Parker,

Saucy knows she will take some heat for this, but you definitely made her top ten. The unusual citrus colour of this Chanel one-off is so distinctive with the silvery flower detail on the neckline... how does it stay up like that? At first glance one might think the tricks of ice dancing costumery were invoked, but not. This dress and its neckline are design feats. That said, not many ladies could pull this one off except you. You are just enough of a square peg to make this work.

Before you leave the house, you should use a little hairspray and a comb. Everything else was fabulous.

Lurrve,
Saucy



Dear Armani Prive,

What gives? You put Amanda Seyfried and Jennifer Lopez in almost the same gown! The same bubble-wrap fabric, the same hemline and almost the same sillhouette save JLo's ruffles... just like the guy who left Farrah Fawcett out of the obituary reel, tomorrow morning in the office: someone's got some 'splainin to do.

At any rate, they are both nice dresses worn by lovely women. Saucy supposes you've just got a theme going in your spring collection and their stylists both liked it.

Please hire a new office administrator,
Saucy


Dear Meryl Streep,

Kudos to you for not looking positively dowdy this year! You were downright posing for the camera. Wearing a very tailored look created by Chris March of Project Runway fame, you look absolutely stunning. Saucy has nothing else to say but, Bravo! Tim Gunn would be proud.

Bon Appetit,
Saucy


Dear Rachel McAdams,

The lack of bling and sparkle on your Elie Saab gown is so refreshing. You got this bang-on for the event and the time of the year. You didn't look overdone, which is important for someone who wasn't nominated but was invited for scenery.

Proud that you are Canadian,
Saucy


Dear Queen Latifah,

Saucy has long admired your pluck, your verve and your style. You always look grand on these occasions and this year was one of your best. The colour was perfect for you, the asymmetrical finishes were so darn flattering, there's just nothing bad to say about this look.

Kisses,
Saucy
Dear Paula Patton,

It was very brave of you to wear bright orange on the red carpet in your delicate condition. The inevitable comparisons to you looking like a tangerine or some sort of melon did not deter you and you managed to pull it off. The arm candy of the husband/pop singer Robin Thicke didn't hurt.

Nicely done,
Saucy



Dear Carey Mulligan,

I know that you don't like your own hair right now, having chopped it off for an upcoming role, but it still looks adorable on you. And your dress, by Prada. Let's talk about that dress. Apparently in youthful detail, it had tiny beaded knives, skeltons and scissors dangling from the bodice. Saucy lurrves that funny little quirky part of you and cannot wait to see what you will come up with next. Miuccia Prada only designs for people he likes, so there you go. They like you, they really like you.

On the downside, my ears hurt for you in those earrings.

Sincerely,
Saucy


Dear Nicole Richie,

Saucy understands that you are attempting to create a niche for yourself as a true fashionista in this new phase of your life away from BFF Paris. You're doing quite well for yourself, and the Diana Ross vibe is definitely paying off for you. Way to grow up.

It's about time,
Saucy


Dear Mariska Hargitay,

You can't go wrong with Vera Wang, ever. You always look fantastic at these events, Hollywood Royalty runs through your blood. You also cannot go wrong with midnight navy at these functions, so a tip of my highlights to you for playing it safe.

See you on the small screen,
Saucy


Dear Helen Mirren,

When I am your age, Saucy wants to look like you. But even at this age, Saucy wants to look like Demi Moore or Julia Roberts and that's not working out so well so perhaps she should just bask in your regal glow. The soft shade, the age-appropriate sleeves, you always get it right.

Hearty congratulations,
Saucy


Dear Elizabeth Banks,

Here is an example of a beautiful dress chosen by the wrong person. While it did look smashing on you, this Versace was a little "much" for someone simply making a presentation who was not nominated. The headband, either saved it or sunk it and Saucy is too tired to decide. Whatever. You looked nice but you might want to tone it down unless you have appeared in one of the nominated movies another year... (see Rachel McAdams, above).

Good enough,
Saucy


Dear Diane Kruger,

This Chanel is just delicious. Saucy drooled when she saw you in it but then the drool stopped immediately when she realized you were on the arm of the uber-creepy Quentin Tarantino. Some might find these ruffles and the shape unflattering, but not Saucy. It is classic Chanel, and it suits you to perfection.

One of my faves,
Saucy

Dear Anika Noni Rose,

Your dress was sweet and youthful. The bodice was embellished with pieces of mirror or something like that and that kept the whole thing playful. It worked for you but Saucy wonders what would have been said about it if it had been worn by another Disney Princess, Miley Cyrus.

Glad you got to it first,
Saucy


Dear Anna Kendricks,

You took a little heat for this look, simply because you were one of the first arrivals on the red carpet and people were looking to get some early criticism, in Saucy's humble opinion. But Saucy found it to be fresh and age-appropriate and wonders again if Miley should have looked at something like this.

Pink rules,
Saucy


Dear Kristen Stewart,

As Anna's Twilight co-star, there you were, much to your chagrin Saucy assumes, trailing in her limelight. You looked positively sour. But for the first time in memory, you chose a suitable gown that fit you well and you actually did your hair. One can only assume that you wore Converse sneakers underneath that train but the overall look worked.

Just a tip: crack a smile once and a while, don't rebuff the press, and keep a lozenge in your handbag to avoid that unfortunate hacking that you produced when you were on stage. Awkward! That word haunts you, doesn't it?

Keep improving,
Saucy


Dear Miley Cyrus,

Why must you insist on making parts of your evening wear resemble underwear? Even Loopy pronounced the look "too low and uncomfortable looking." It may have contributed to your sloppy posture, but at least you lost the gum this year.

An overall improvement, but keep striving,
Saucy


Dear Maggie Gyllenhaal,

Saucy positively adores this print gown - what a refreshing change and so perfect for your sense of style. You never conform. Saucy especially appreciates your choice of offbeat accessories that were mix-and-matchy and the cuff that featured a lime green ladybug. Dress by Dries Van Noten.

Keep it up,
Saucy


Dear Sigourney Weaver,

Saucy wishes that she cared about this look but the overall opinion that she returns to is... meh. It's not your worst and it's not your best. The ribbon belt is a bit much, considering you have that ginormous brooch on your shoulder. It's one or the other, take your pick. The colour, it suits you.

Stick with reds,
Saucy



Dear Mo'Nique,

Saucy is torn as she enters the "on the fence" portion of the reviews. The colour is nice and the draping and fit are very flattering but Saucy thinks the fabric looks like jersey, and of course we all know that it packs well and is easy to care for... but is that really a concern for you? On the HDTV, it actually looked like the same material that the Cheerios uniforms is made of.


But the overall impression was lovely, even though Saucy could not get the image of those unshaven gams out of her head as you made your short and sweet acceptance speech. Lurrved the flowers in your hair, by the way.

Congrats,
Saucy


Dear Penelope Cruz,

Saucy still cannot understand a word you say. Perhaps Donna Karan can't, either. Were you trying to tell her to add more fabric and ruching to this gown? It came off as a tad overwhelming and there was no place to rest Saucy's bloodshot peepers. The sillhouette was lovely however, and the colour was dramatic although you know how I generally feel about wearing red on the red carpet.

Next time, then.
Saucy


Dear Sandra Bullock,

Well... in that dress, you arrived to win. This Marchesa gown was a tad reminiscent of the dress Halle Berry wore in 2003 and was almost ice-skater-ish. Overall, the pundits will give you good reviews for it so there is not much that Saucy will say in an attempt to sway the experts. Your hair was very nice and not overdone, but the lipstick was a little overwhelming and drew too much attention. Saucy was really rooting for you to win.

4.5 out of 5 cupcakes,
Saucy


Dear Charlize Theron,

Now we enter the miss category of the dress parade. What was Dior thinking, with those giant rosettes in the most unfortunate position... what was the point of that? The colour is right, the shape is right, the bustline is unfortunate. Perhaps it is time to rethink your partnership with the House of Dior.

Best of luck,
Saucy

Dear Deborah Ann Woll,

This colour washes you out and the fit is simply unflattering. Saucy is shipping you some pantyhose, stat. Some people still wear them and they are called: ladies.

Watch your mailbox,
Saucy


Dear Mariah Carey,

Things were looking good when Saucy first caught a glimpse of you on the arm of your wanna-be-famous husband, Nick Canon. But then she caught sight of you full length:


And Saucy realized right there and then that you, Mariah, will never change. You will embrace the high slits and the platform shoes until the day you stop being invited to these events. A full skirt would have redeemed this look completely and you would have found yourself nearer the top of this post. Too much going on.

Still fond of you as a performer,
Saucy


Dear Kathy Ireland,

What was up with you tonight? Obviously a model of your stature can pull of such a dress, but your mannerisms, your shrieking, your jokes from 2006 and your wild hand gestures scared the wits out of your interviewees. It was disturbing.

Please return to Christian tweeting,
@Saucydragonfly


Dear Virgina Madsen,

Saucy always prefers navy over black but there is a bit much going on here. Well, it looks comfortable and overall the look is not perfection, but it's not a disaster.

Sincerely,
Saucy


Dear Katherine Bigelow,

Well, well... The First Wives Club wins this round! Not only did you look smashing - you swept the awards for your movie The Hurt Locker, leaving your former husband and his touted Avatar in the dust. The only thing Saucy would like to make mention to you: your bra straps were on view most of the evening.

Oh, and Saucy waited with baited breath in the hope that you would squeal "I'm Queen of the world" when you accepted for Best Picture, but you refrained, and probably for the best.

Revenge is sweet,
Saucy


Dear James Cameron and the lady you left Katherine Bigelow for after you filmed Titantic,

Both of you should make a visit to the nearest Fantastic Sam's for a haircut.

Just sayin',
Saucy


Dear Tina Fey,

This was one of your better looks because you tidied up your hair but this Michael Kors gown felt a tad Flintstones-inspired. Upon close inspection, it was gilded in animal print and the overall look had a Bam-Bam feel to it. Why is it that you just can't seem to get these things right? Do you not believe in hiring stylists?

Look up Rachel Zoe... she has a website.
Saucy


Dear Gabourey Sidibe,

First, let Saucy say that she really does like you. She realizes that you must face some challenges in choosing formal wear but when you said on the red carpet tonight that "if fashion was porn this dress is the money shot", Saucy thought, ewww. Now she knows why she's never watched porn: she heard it was horrifyingly ugly and distasteful. So is this dress.

Perhaps with all that bric-a-brac removed, it would have played less like a misdirected prom gown. Marchesa, really?

Less is more,
Saucy


Dear Vera Farmiga,

Someone at Marchesa talked you into this overwhelming fancy, ruffly architectural nightmare. Suitable for the runway, but completely overwhelming for this event. Between you, Gaby Sidibe, and Sandra Bullock, Saucy is seriously reconsidering her previous adoration of Marchesa.

Hot fuschia, even with matching lipstick, only works for Mary Hart.

Lesson learned,
Saucy


Dear Samantha Harris,

Saucy has said it before and she'll say it agian: nobody cares about the correspondents, it's all about the talent. Reminiscent of the Barenaked Ladies lyric "but not a real green dress, that's cruel", this has too much going on... shiny fabric, the mermaid hem, the crazy strap situation.

Enough said,
Saucy

And lastly...

Dear Zoe Saldana,

What were you thinking? First of all, purple is so Golden Globes... did you not get the memo? What on earth is going on down there? What was Givenchy thinking? Were you attempting to channel Carmen Miranda, and if so, where was your basket of fruit to balance on your head?

The saddest part of this is that the top of the dress is quite striking and not offensive at all... you attempted to do something different but it sort of fell flat. Don't be too shocked to see yourself on a few worst dressed lists.

Better luck next time,
Saucy

Readers, there were a few moments that deserve mention: the touching tribute to the late John Hughes (no matter how she tried, Saucy was unable to find a picture of Molly Ringwald in her dress, and trust in the fact, Ally Sheedy will be on a few of the worst-dressed lists tomorrow). There was one speech-hijacking by a crazed redheaded woman pulling a Kanye West, and what was up with George Clooney's hair? Pfft.

Saucy was also unable to locate a photo of Kate Winslet, but the dress was understated and nice.

For a comparison check against last year, click here.

Your thoughts? Did you stick it out 'til the end?

amended celebrity boyfriend list

You may recall Saucy's previous list of secret celebrity boyfriends. As she retains the right to amend, add, delete or embellish the original list at any time, she will now exercise such right.

The first new member of Saucy's Secret Fraternity is Craig Ferguson, host of the Late Late Show on CBS. Craig, a Scotsman, is an emigrate to the US and became a citizen in 2008. His book, American on Purpose is a cheeky, self-deprecating memoir of his days growing up in Scotland, his career as it floundered and then flourished, but most of all it is - in all of its entertaining candidness - the story of a lost soul who saw America as the greatest nation in the world and chose to be a part of it. Hey, even as a Canadian, Saucy can dig it. She totally is into commitment. Oh, and the accent. Even though she can't understand one-fifth of what comes out of that tart-tongued mouth of his, she is a swooner for the Scot.

Do you know Chuck? Monday nights on NBC, and what can Saucy say? She really digs nerds... and the guys who play them - in this case, Zachary Levi. The sneakers, the spy stuff and all that fluff is just right for snuggling up on the sofa with Veto and Duke for some action TV. Chuck is sort of like the Knight Rider of a new generation... we're going to look back on this and laugh someday. But please, Zachary: don't end up like David Hasslehoff.

Back to the accents... Saucy cannot resist an accent from any part of the UK. Chef Jamie Oliver is welcome to slice, dice and julienne for Saucy anytime. She cannot wait for the premiere of his new series on ABC, Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. He's going to tackle the horrible eating habits of North Americans one kidney pie at a time starting March 26th.

Saucy finds Michael Sheen (no relation to Martin or Charlie) to be a witty rapscallion with a Welch accent she (again) cannot resist. Why, he could read the Cardiff telephone book aloud to her and she would be positively enraptured. This crush began when Saucy saw him play Tony Blair in The Queen.

Which worked out well, seeing as Saucy also has a soft spot for the former British Prime Minister:

Not the 1980's Tony Blair with the half-mast eyes, polyester suit, and the terribly British teeth.

Not the currant Tony Blair of advanced... shall we say... distinguishment.

Saucy prefers the Blair-in-his-prime as new leader of the Labour Party. He was just enough left for Saucy back in the day and it is Blair circa 1996 who makes the list.

Saucy was reminded by Diva Deb that she omitted Oprah's designer gay, Nate Berkus on a previous list and it is time to amend that situation. It was a glaring error. Although Nate bats for the other team, Saucy is sure that if given the chance, they would soon end up in bed together... watching Sleepless in Seattle and choosing paint colours for the ensuite bath.

Before you get your knickers in a twist, Dear Reader, Saucy is aware that this secret celebrity crush appears a wee bit Mary Kay Laterno, but a little youthful eye candy is good for the fine lines around the delicate peeper area. It might not actually be a crush on actor Mark Salling of Glee, it may in fact be a crush on his character, Noah Puckerman: misguided, mohawked baby-daddy, Neil Diamond-singing Jew. Oy vey.

Lastly, Saucy has conferred at length with her Canadian blogging peeps and is in complete agreement. Hockey heroes? Nah. Sidney Crosby? Whatever. The real Olympic hunk of 2010 was found on the curling ice. Check out John Morris of the Men's Gold Medal Canadian Curling Rink. Saucy's secret celebrity crush on the sliding Mr. Morris is not as well-formed (or fanatical) as many of her peeps, but she recalls watching the curling on TV and thinking... I could get into this.

Reader, what have you to say of this list? Did Saucy amend it to your liking or are there further glaring omissions? Speak up, or feel free to post a list of your own secret celebrity boyfriends.